**Le Sigh**
I was in a weird fucking mood today.
I woke up late, somehow, I slept through Mom nailing down the new carpet in the living room which is right upstairs from my room. Our flooring in house sucks anyway, it's creeky and shit but all morning I heard "BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!" to which I would just pull a pillow over my head, roll over, and say to myself "You've gotta sleep through this bullshit". Maybe that's what made me such a bitch today. Either that, or the fact my Nana is in the hospital, AGAIN. I sware, it saddens me to the point of no return. She can barely get out of bed, she's weak and she's lost a lot of blood. She can't even get out of bed to pee. Dad said something along the lines of Nana coming to the end of her rope, and so help me God, if she dies, I am going to be so fucking mad. That would make more deaths this year so far around me than in the past 2 years. That's bullshit.
I love my Nana.
Before we went to go visit Nana, Dad and I went to go eat at a seafood restraunt. I had some popcorn shrimp, gumbo, and some chicken fetticini. It was good, but I got full fast so I really didn't eat much. I just boxed it up.
I've felt really alone all day today. I call it post-gathering depression. I miss the Gathering, I miss the people, I miss walking around all day with Psy music playing and the smell of herb rising off the air, the craziness, the hapiness, the love, the family. I miss it all. The juggalos. I miss those motherfuckers. They're some of the only people who will ever understand me. Speaking of the gathering, I got my pics back today. Most of them turned out good, the only ones that really didn't where the live pics of ICP. I made up for it with all the JCW shots. I got a really good one of Shaggy on his golf cart. I look like a dumbass in most of them, but that's all good. My tattoo is looking better today, I was right the color was just hiding under post-healing goo. It looks almost healed. There are a few places in the tatt I would like to get touched up, but that takes money, and I'm one broke kiddo. I'm convinced I will never have a good job, but Dad told me he wants me to work for him running around Death Certificates as soon as I finish my liscence course. Woo. I was thinking for the past few weeks about prehaps going to mortuary school in the steps of my Dad. Dead bodies aren't that bad, and I was raised around it. Can't be anything I couldn't handle. Dad thinks I would be good in that line.
I got to drive around some more today, for my first time in a week. That sucked, re-learning how to drive I mean. Oh well, it's one step closer to my liscence ya know? As soon as I get it, I'm gonna make a few road trips, possibly to Missouri to see Martin if he doesn't come here first. Ray also wants me to come down to New York and see him for the Twiztid/Marz show. I probably won't be able to hack it because of lack of funds, but he says he will make sure I'm there. LoL.
Anyhow, I'm gonna end this. I have not too much to say.
**EDIT**
Survey stolen from candycrack
[[ Name ]] Kristin
[[ Nicknames, including from family ]] Twiggy, Bitch, Slutcake
[[ Birthday ]] 05/31/1985 gemini
[[ Age ]] 18
[[ Astrological sign? ]] gemini
[[ Chinese zodiac sign? ]] ox
[[ Location ]] cincinnati ohio
[[ Sexual Preference ]] swing both ways
[[ Marital Status ]] not taken.. lol
[[ Current Haircolor ]] black dreads with blonde roots
[[ Eyecolor ]] blue, they change color though
[[ Height ]] 5'7ish
[[ Weight ]] not sure.. fat kid
[[ Parents still together? ]] nope
[[ Siblings? ]] 1
[[ Nieces/Nephews? ]] yeah.. i lost count
[[ Kids of your own? ]] nope
[[ Pets? ]] 2 cats, a rabbit, a mouse
[[ In school/graduated? ]] graduated
[[ What do you do for work? ]] sit on my ass (thanks couldn't have said that better)
[[ How much do you make? ]] umm..
[[ Have any credit cards? ]] no
[[ What do you drive? ]] as soon as i pass my test i will have a silver beetle.
Preferences
[[ Black and White/Color ]] black
[[ Black/White ]] black
[[ Red/Blue ]] red
[[ Dogs/Cats ]] cats
[[ Roses/Daisies ]] roses
[[ Beer/Liquor ]] beer
[[ Boxers/Briefs ]] boxers
[[ Hair: Short/Long ]] long
[[ Boots/Shoes ]] boots
[[ Food: Mexican/Italian ]] italian
[[ Dark/Light ]] dark
[[ Day/Night ]] night
[[ City/Country ]] city
[[ Sheets: Solid/Animal Prints ]] rainbow tye dye
[[ Sub/Dom ] both.. depends on my mood
Favorites
[[ Color ]] black, purple, pink, silver
[[ Animal ]] crow
[[ Vehicle ]] anything that drives and gets me where i need to go
[[ Flower ]] roses
[[ Beer ]] rolling rock
[[ Liquor ]] baccardi 151
[[ Soda ]] black cherry and blue moon mist faygo
[[ Food ]] chinese
[[ Book ]] well, i read so many it's hard to decide but now i am reading violent j's "behind the paint"
[[ Author ]] i have a lot
[[ Band ]] anything phy, manson, nin, anything techno
[[ CD ]] icp- beverly kills
[[ Song ]] icp- joke ya mind
[[ Movie ]] the crow, clockwork orange
[[ Director ]] not sure
[[ Country ]] USA
[[ State ]] california
[[ City ]] san franscisco
[[ School Subject ]] music
[[ Movie genre ]] horor
[[ Extracurricular Activity ]] music
[[ Color your hair? ]] yeah ofren
[[ Have tattoos? ]] 4
[[ Piercings? ]] 8
[[ Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both? ]] nope
[[ Floss daily? ]] no
[[ Own a webcam? ]] nope
[[ Ever get off the damn computer? ]] not really
[[ Sprechen Sie Deutcsh? ]] some
[[ Hablar Espanol? ]] nope
[[ Quack? Quack quack? ]] um, sure
[[ Gotten a speeding ticket? ]] nope
[[ How fast? ] n/a
[[ DUI? ]] no
[[ Been in a wreck? ]] no
[[ Been arrested? ]] no
[[ Stolen a car? ]] no
[[ Smoke? ]] yep
[[ Pot? ]] not anymore
[[ Crack? ]] i did it once i'm not gonna front
[[ Drink? ]] not really anymore
[[ Been so drunk you couldn't remember your name? ]] nope.. i never forget my name.. forgetting it and lying about it are 2 different things
[[ Been so drunk you didn't care that you couldn't remember your name? ]] nope
[[ Posed for nude pics? ]] no
[[ Considered a life of crime? ]] no
[[ Considered being a hooker? ]] no
[[ Maybe a pimp? ]] no
[[ Cheated on someone? ]] yeah
[[ Been married? ]] no
[[ Been divorced? ]] no
[[ Are you psycho? ]] definitly
[[ Split personalities? ]] yeah.. all the time
[[ Schizophrenic? ]] probably
[[ Obsessive? ]] depends
[[ Compulsive? ]] sometimes
[[ Obsessive Compulsive? ]] people say i am
[[ Panic? ]] not often
[[ Anxiety? ]] sometimes
[[ Depressed? ]] yes
[[ Suicidal? ]] no
[[ Homicidal? ]] no
[[ Genocidal? ]] no
[[ Pedophile? ]] no
[[ Obsessed with hate? ]] no
[[ Mutilate animals? ]] no
[[ Idolize infamous criminals? ] a lot of them are pretty sweet, not for what they did but for who they are. like i said, there's good in everyone.
[[ Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore? ]] when i am asleep i have some pretty fucked up dreams.
[[ Dream of doing those things instead of just seeing them? ]] no
The good stuff...
[[ Had sex outdoors? ]] yeah
Right now...
[[ What are you listening to? ]] myzery
[[ What are you watching? ]] the screen
[[ What time is it? ]] 10:19 pm
[[ What are you wearing? ]] red plaid bondage pants, red kitty rock shirt
[[ Wanna cyber? ]] no
[[ Hey baby, nice shoes... ]] yeah i know, they rule
[[ What're you drinking? ]] nothing
[[ Eating? ]] nothing
[[ Got both hands on the keyboard? ]] nope
[[ You sure bout that? ]] yeah
[[ Who are you talkin to? ]] brittney and some random juggalo
[[ What other windows do you have open? ]] aim, yahoo, windows media player
[[ How bored are you? haha ]] extremely
If you could...
[[ Be anywhere, where would you be? ]] at the gathering again
[[ Who would you be with? ]] my family
[[ What would you be doin? ]] partying.
I woke up late, somehow, I slept through Mom nailing down the new carpet in the living room which is right upstairs from my room. Our flooring in house sucks anyway, it's creeky and shit but all morning I heard "BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!" to which I would just pull a pillow over my head, roll over, and say to myself "You've gotta sleep through this bullshit". Maybe that's what made me such a bitch today. Either that, or the fact my Nana is in the hospital, AGAIN. I sware, it saddens me to the point of no return. She can barely get out of bed, she's weak and she's lost a lot of blood. She can't even get out of bed to pee. Dad said something along the lines of Nana coming to the end of her rope, and so help me God, if she dies, I am going to be so fucking mad. That would make more deaths this year so far around me than in the past 2 years. That's bullshit.
I love my Nana.
Before we went to go visit Nana, Dad and I went to go eat at a seafood restraunt. I had some popcorn shrimp, gumbo, and some chicken fetticini. It was good, but I got full fast so I really didn't eat much. I just boxed it up.
I've felt really alone all day today. I call it post-gathering depression. I miss the Gathering, I miss the people, I miss walking around all day with Psy music playing and the smell of herb rising off the air, the craziness, the hapiness, the love, the family. I miss it all. The juggalos. I miss those motherfuckers. They're some of the only people who will ever understand me. Speaking of the gathering, I got my pics back today. Most of them turned out good, the only ones that really didn't where the live pics of ICP. I made up for it with all the JCW shots. I got a really good one of Shaggy on his golf cart. I look like a dumbass in most of them, but that's all good. My tattoo is looking better today, I was right the color was just hiding under post-healing goo. It looks almost healed. There are a few places in the tatt I would like to get touched up, but that takes money, and I'm one broke kiddo. I'm convinced I will never have a good job, but Dad told me he wants me to work for him running around Death Certificates as soon as I finish my liscence course. Woo. I was thinking for the past few weeks about prehaps going to mortuary school in the steps of my Dad. Dead bodies aren't that bad, and I was raised around it. Can't be anything I couldn't handle. Dad thinks I would be good in that line.
I got to drive around some more today, for my first time in a week. That sucked, re-learning how to drive I mean. Oh well, it's one step closer to my liscence ya know? As soon as I get it, I'm gonna make a few road trips, possibly to Missouri to see Martin if he doesn't come here first. Ray also wants me to come down to New York and see him for the Twiztid/Marz show. I probably won't be able to hack it because of lack of funds, but he says he will make sure I'm there. LoL.
Anyhow, I'm gonna end this. I have not too much to say.
**EDIT**
Survey stolen from candycrack
[[ Name ]] Kristin
[[ Nicknames, including from family ]] Twiggy, Bitch, Slutcake
[[ Birthday ]] 05/31/1985 gemini
[[ Age ]] 18
[[ Astrological sign? ]] gemini
[[ Chinese zodiac sign? ]] ox
[[ Location ]] cincinnati ohio
[[ Sexual Preference ]] swing both ways
[[ Marital Status ]] not taken.. lol
[[ Current Haircolor ]] black dreads with blonde roots
[[ Eyecolor ]] blue, they change color though
[[ Height ]] 5'7ish
[[ Weight ]] not sure.. fat kid
[[ Parents still together? ]] nope
[[ Siblings? ]] 1
[[ Nieces/Nephews? ]] yeah.. i lost count
[[ Kids of your own? ]] nope
[[ Pets? ]] 2 cats, a rabbit, a mouse
[[ In school/graduated? ]] graduated
[[ What do you do for work? ]] sit on my ass (thanks couldn't have said that better)
[[ How much do you make? ]] umm..
[[ Have any credit cards? ]] no
[[ What do you drive? ]] as soon as i pass my test i will have a silver beetle.
Preferences
[[ Black and White/Color ]] black
[[ Black/White ]] black
[[ Red/Blue ]] red
[[ Dogs/Cats ]] cats
[[ Roses/Daisies ]] roses
[[ Beer/Liquor ]] beer
[[ Boxers/Briefs ]] boxers
[[ Hair: Short/Long ]] long
[[ Boots/Shoes ]] boots
[[ Food: Mexican/Italian ]] italian
[[ Dark/Light ]] dark
[[ Day/Night ]] night
[[ City/Country ]] city
[[ Sheets: Solid/Animal Prints ]] rainbow tye dye
[[ Sub/Dom ] both.. depends on my mood
Favorites
[[ Color ]] black, purple, pink, silver
[[ Animal ]] crow
[[ Vehicle ]] anything that drives and gets me where i need to go
[[ Flower ]] roses
[[ Beer ]] rolling rock
[[ Liquor ]] baccardi 151
[[ Soda ]] black cherry and blue moon mist faygo
[[ Food ]] chinese
[[ Book ]] well, i read so many it's hard to decide but now i am reading violent j's "behind the paint"
[[ Author ]] i have a lot
[[ Band ]] anything phy, manson, nin, anything techno
[[ CD ]] icp- beverly kills
[[ Song ]] icp- joke ya mind
[[ Movie ]] the crow, clockwork orange
[[ Director ]] not sure
[[ Country ]] USA
[[ State ]] california
[[ City ]] san franscisco
[[ School Subject ]] music
[[ Movie genre ]] horor
[[ Extracurricular Activity ]] music
[[ Color your hair? ]] yeah ofren
[[ Have tattoos? ]] 4
[[ Piercings? ]] 8
[[ Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both? ]] nope
[[ Floss daily? ]] no
[[ Own a webcam? ]] nope
[[ Ever get off the damn computer? ]] not really
[[ Sprechen Sie Deutcsh? ]] some
[[ Hablar Espanol? ]] nope
[[ Quack? Quack quack? ]] um, sure
[[ Gotten a speeding ticket? ]] nope
[[ How fast? ] n/a
[[ DUI? ]] no
[[ Been in a wreck? ]] no
[[ Been arrested? ]] no
[[ Stolen a car? ]] no
[[ Smoke? ]] yep
[[ Pot? ]] not anymore
[[ Crack? ]] i did it once i'm not gonna front
[[ Drink? ]] not really anymore
[[ Been so drunk you couldn't remember your name? ]] nope.. i never forget my name.. forgetting it and lying about it are 2 different things
[[ Been so drunk you didn't care that you couldn't remember your name? ]] nope
[[ Posed for nude pics? ]] no
[[ Considered a life of crime? ]] no
[[ Considered being a hooker? ]] no
[[ Maybe a pimp? ]] no
[[ Cheated on someone? ]] yeah
[[ Been married? ]] no
[[ Been divorced? ]] no
[[ Are you psycho? ]] definitly
[[ Split personalities? ]] yeah.. all the time
[[ Schizophrenic? ]] probably
[[ Obsessive? ]] depends
[[ Compulsive? ]] sometimes
[[ Obsessive Compulsive? ]] people say i am
[[ Panic? ]] not often
[[ Anxiety? ]] sometimes
[[ Depressed? ]] yes
[[ Suicidal? ]] no
[[ Homicidal? ]] no
[[ Genocidal? ]] no
[[ Pedophile? ]] no
[[ Obsessed with hate? ]] no
[[ Mutilate animals? ]] no
[[ Idolize infamous criminals? ] a lot of them are pretty sweet, not for what they did but for who they are. like i said, there's good in everyone.
[[ Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore? ]] when i am asleep i have some pretty fucked up dreams.
[[ Dream of doing those things instead of just seeing them? ]] no
The good stuff...
[[ Had sex outdoors? ]] yeah
Right now...
[[ What are you listening to? ]] myzery
[[ What are you watching? ]] the screen
[[ What time is it? ]] 10:19 pm
[[ What are you wearing? ]] red plaid bondage pants, red kitty rock shirt
[[ Wanna cyber? ]] no
[[ Hey baby, nice shoes... ]] yeah i know, they rule
[[ What're you drinking? ]] nothing
[[ Eating? ]] nothing
[[ Got both hands on the keyboard? ]] nope
[[ You sure bout that? ]] yeah
[[ Who are you talkin to? ]] brittney and some random juggalo
[[ What other windows do you have open? ]] aim, yahoo, windows media player
[[ How bored are you? haha ]] extremely
If you could...
[[ Be anywhere, where would you be? ]] at the gathering again
[[ Who would you be with? ]] my family
[[ What would you be doin? ]] partying.