Xmas Eve
So, I have to write about some of the occurrences of Saturday.
First, we left the apartment late. That affected Cassie more than me.
Cassie and I got measured for our dresses (and saw an example, too) and the results weren't as bad for me as I thought they would be. Jen's dress is pretty.
Cassie asked if I could ever see myself in one and I told her no.
Really, I can’t see myself getting married.
I've . . . resigned myself to the fact that I probably won't. I’m fine with this now, really. I have no reason to pro-create and I'm too set in my ways. Besides, I have too low self-esteem to be in a relationship. I constantly need reinforcement of pretty much all positive emotions you can get from another person . . . who want’s a loony like that?
Jen got me World of Warcraft for Xmas! Woo! Something new to get addicted to!
Mother revealed to me that she still has internet, so, I get to at least do KoL (even though it's bloody slow 'cause of the pc) and lj. (Hence the reason of the update.)
Um . . . I had some really great ham for dinner last night. Like, my dinner was a ham sandwich.
My mother said to me, "You’ve lost weight."
My father walked in the door, said "Hey baby. You look like you've lot weight. Are you tryin' to get skinny? Don’t you eat?"
Yet, I feel fatter than ever.
What's wrong with this? I swear my new jeans did not fit the other day . . .
*shrug*
Umm, what else?
I told mother about all my friends (and their predicaments, etc) and she agrees with me that we're all characters in a bad novel. She also says that my concern about some of my friends is not unjustified. Yeah . . . I'm talking about some of you.
My father acted so . . .
*sigh* Man, he messed with my brain. We sat on opposite ends of the couch watching The Sound of Music. I moved so he could stretch out, and he yelled at me and told me to sit back down on the couch.
The man that was in the house tonight was not my father. Or rather, he was the father of my youth.
He said, "Hey, wanna smell my feet?" Which, back in the day, meant the equivalent of the L-word. *shakes head* Don't ask 'cause I can’t explain it and you aren't apart of that anyways.
He and I played Slap Hands. We hadn't done that in years. I kept missing and we laughed. Really laughed. And then I started hitting his hand and he asked how I was doing it and when I explained my theory, he was impressed, and said as much.
Mother told me on the way to the library yesterday that my father came home drunk the other day and told my mother that the "only person that means anything to him in this life" wasn't coming home for Xmas, so she was forbidden to make Xmas dinner. Then I called the other day with my news and well, the old man looked at my mother the next day and kept asking about presents for the terrible two, my brother and sister-in-law, and me. And then asked if there was going to be an Xmas dinner.
I told my mother that I resented his behaviour. I told her that I hated the guilt that went along with all of that.
I went to the library and chatted with Laurie and Chris. Chris is my cousin. Sometimes, in years past, he’d forget I was his cousin and would stare at my chest a great deal. But he's a young teenager (I believe he's currently 16 or 17 or something like that) and you know how males are at that age.
He told me how he beat up a kid and got suspended. He gave me pointers on how to hit someone. I tried to convince Laurie of some stuff, but I don’t think she bought it.
I told Theresa about my novel and she asked if I knew how many pages it was going to be. Feh. People just don't understand, do they?
I'm afraid my suitcase might be too heavy for the bus ride. That really isn't good. I know I can't take any instruments with me and that makes me sad.
My mother is obsessed with air fresheners now. Kinda freaks me out.
Oh, and one final thing? For the love of Rat, people, don't call the house to wish me Merry Xmas . . . please . . . just . . . just don’t do it, alright?
First, we left the apartment late. That affected Cassie more than me.
Cassie and I got measured for our dresses (and saw an example, too) and the results weren't as bad for me as I thought they would be. Jen's dress is pretty.
Cassie asked if I could ever see myself in one and I told her no.
Really, I can’t see myself getting married.
I've . . . resigned myself to the fact that I probably won't. I’m fine with this now, really. I have no reason to pro-create and I'm too set in my ways. Besides, I have too low self-esteem to be in a relationship. I constantly need reinforcement of pretty much all positive emotions you can get from another person . . . who want’s a loony like that?
Jen got me World of Warcraft for Xmas! Woo! Something new to get addicted to!
Mother revealed to me that she still has internet, so, I get to at least do KoL (even though it's bloody slow 'cause of the pc) and lj. (Hence the reason of the update.)
Um . . . I had some really great ham for dinner last night. Like, my dinner was a ham sandwich.
My mother said to me, "You’ve lost weight."
My father walked in the door, said "Hey baby. You look like you've lot weight. Are you tryin' to get skinny? Don’t you eat?"
Yet, I feel fatter than ever.
What's wrong with this? I swear my new jeans did not fit the other day . . .
*shrug*
Umm, what else?
I told mother about all my friends (and their predicaments, etc) and she agrees with me that we're all characters in a bad novel. She also says that my concern about some of my friends is not unjustified. Yeah . . . I'm talking about some of you.
My father acted so . . .
*sigh* Man, he messed with my brain. We sat on opposite ends of the couch watching The Sound of Music. I moved so he could stretch out, and he yelled at me and told me to sit back down on the couch.
The man that was in the house tonight was not my father. Or rather, he was the father of my youth.
He said, "Hey, wanna smell my feet?" Which, back in the day, meant the equivalent of the L-word. *shakes head* Don't ask 'cause I can’t explain it and you aren't apart of that anyways.
He and I played Slap Hands. We hadn't done that in years. I kept missing and we laughed. Really laughed. And then I started hitting his hand and he asked how I was doing it and when I explained my theory, he was impressed, and said as much.
Mother told me on the way to the library yesterday that my father came home drunk the other day and told my mother that the "only person that means anything to him in this life" wasn't coming home for Xmas, so she was forbidden to make Xmas dinner. Then I called the other day with my news and well, the old man looked at my mother the next day and kept asking about presents for the terrible two, my brother and sister-in-law, and me. And then asked if there was going to be an Xmas dinner.
I told my mother that I resented his behaviour. I told her that I hated the guilt that went along with all of that.
I went to the library and chatted with Laurie and Chris. Chris is my cousin. Sometimes, in years past, he’d forget I was his cousin and would stare at my chest a great deal. But he's a young teenager (I believe he's currently 16 or 17 or something like that) and you know how males are at that age.
He told me how he beat up a kid and got suspended. He gave me pointers on how to hit someone. I tried to convince Laurie of some stuff, but I don’t think she bought it.
I told Theresa about my novel and she asked if I knew how many pages it was going to be. Feh. People just don't understand, do they?
I'm afraid my suitcase might be too heavy for the bus ride. That really isn't good. I know I can't take any instruments with me and that makes me sad.
My mother is obsessed with air fresheners now. Kinda freaks me out.
Oh, and one final thing? For the love of Rat, people, don't call the house to wish me Merry Xmas . . . please . . . just . . . just don’t do it, alright?