I don't know what to think
I... I don't know if it's me or not. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. How do you react to something like that? Am I supposed to react? Am I supposed to pretend like it's definiately not me and write a response like I normally would? What do you want me to do?
Honestly, here's what I have to say. If it's not me, don't read it.
It is hard to keep friends. It really truly honestly is. But do you know how much shit we've been through together? Do you know how many times I've stuck up for you? I always did the best I could to be supportive and positive, even when I wanted nothing to do with your negativity. I have seen you hurt over and over again and nothing I have ever said has helped. I am sorry that I have faith and a large gorup of close friends and I don't have depression. I'm sorry that I got to be on stage. I can't be anything but myself!
But I'm not saying I'm innocent here. I'm not, and I know that. I have not always been a good friend, especially when we were young. I have not always respected you and you aren't the first person I call. But damnit, I'm not perfect. I am also not the same person I was 4 years ago, or even 4 months ago. We go through these phases in life, and everytime I learn and I hope that I become a better person.
All I have ever wanted was the best for you. Ever. I can't tell you the hours of prayer I have spent on you. I think about you, even if I don't talk to you. I know, how are you supposed to know that if I never say anything. I don't know, but I don't know any other way to help you. I want you to be happy. I want you do get along with your parents and find faith and enjoy what you do. Why? Because those are the only ways I have found to be happy. I don't know anything but my own experiences and I don't know any other way to help you. You hide how you're feeling by being negative and making fun of people. I cover up with a smile and a positive comment. We're different, and that's just the way it is.
Honestly, I realize after the past year more than ever how rotten of a friend I've been to you. You are not second rate, in any way. I'm sorry you're not the first one I call, but honestly, am I the first one you call? I don't think so. You have amazed me in the last year. You have been so happy and fun to be around. You truly love theatre, I mean you really love it, and you're a damn good director. You know your shit when it comes to acting, and although I haven't gotten the chance to see you onstage this year, I just know you must be hilarious. I've always been envious of your musical talent. I'm not that good, and I could never hope to be that good. There are things you have that I have always wanted, but I just try to focus on my stuff instead. And trust me, I do not always get the boy... you do. Neither of is is any more at fault than the other in this, we just see it from completely different sides and that makes it really hard not to get upset.
The bottom line is this. I am sorry if I have hurt you. The honest truth is that now, more than ever I value our friendship. I want to hang out again like we used to, watching movies and talking 'til late and making colored pancakes in the morning. I want to not fight with you. I want to go shopping and plan our skit and read HP. I can't imagine any of it without you. And that's the honest truth. No matter what may have happened before. I want to be your friend. A real friend.
Forever.
I don't know if it helps any. I'd like to talk if you want. If what you wrote wasn't aimed at me, please kindly disregard it. For everyone else who doesn't have any idea what I'm talking about, just ignore it.
Honestly, here's what I have to say. If it's not me, don't read it.
It is hard to keep friends. It really truly honestly is. But do you know how much shit we've been through together? Do you know how many times I've stuck up for you? I always did the best I could to be supportive and positive, even when I wanted nothing to do with your negativity. I have seen you hurt over and over again and nothing I have ever said has helped. I am sorry that I have faith and a large gorup of close friends and I don't have depression. I'm sorry that I got to be on stage. I can't be anything but myself!
But I'm not saying I'm innocent here. I'm not, and I know that. I have not always been a good friend, especially when we were young. I have not always respected you and you aren't the first person I call. But damnit, I'm not perfect. I am also not the same person I was 4 years ago, or even 4 months ago. We go through these phases in life, and everytime I learn and I hope that I become a better person.
All I have ever wanted was the best for you. Ever. I can't tell you the hours of prayer I have spent on you. I think about you, even if I don't talk to you. I know, how are you supposed to know that if I never say anything. I don't know, but I don't know any other way to help you. I want you to be happy. I want you do get along with your parents and find faith and enjoy what you do. Why? Because those are the only ways I have found to be happy. I don't know anything but my own experiences and I don't know any other way to help you. You hide how you're feeling by being negative and making fun of people. I cover up with a smile and a positive comment. We're different, and that's just the way it is.
Honestly, I realize after the past year more than ever how rotten of a friend I've been to you. You are not second rate, in any way. I'm sorry you're not the first one I call, but honestly, am I the first one you call? I don't think so. You have amazed me in the last year. You have been so happy and fun to be around. You truly love theatre, I mean you really love it, and you're a damn good director. You know your shit when it comes to acting, and although I haven't gotten the chance to see you onstage this year, I just know you must be hilarious. I've always been envious of your musical talent. I'm not that good, and I could never hope to be that good. There are things you have that I have always wanted, but I just try to focus on my stuff instead. And trust me, I do not always get the boy... you do. Neither of is is any more at fault than the other in this, we just see it from completely different sides and that makes it really hard not to get upset.
The bottom line is this. I am sorry if I have hurt you. The honest truth is that now, more than ever I value our friendship. I want to hang out again like we used to, watching movies and talking 'til late and making colored pancakes in the morning. I want to not fight with you. I want to go shopping and plan our skit and read HP. I can't imagine any of it without you. And that's the honest truth. No matter what may have happened before. I want to be your friend. A real friend.
Forever.
I don't know if it helps any. I'd like to talk if you want. If what you wrote wasn't aimed at me, please kindly disregard it. For everyone else who doesn't have any idea what I'm talking about, just ignore it.