FIC: Vampires, Demons and Torchwood, Oh my! (18b/?)
Name: Vampires, Demons and Torchwood, Oh my!
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Spike/Buffy, Willow/Tosh, Xander/Anya, Martha, Owen, Faith, some minor OCs, the Doctor, Donna.
Summary: Sequel to Magic and Mayhem at the Rift. The Scoobie gang, now fully integrated into the Torchwood group and settled in to their new lives, discover there’s more coming through the rift than the odd demon and alien. This story is set post Exit Wounds, so there are minor spoilers. However, I have major problems with Exit Wounds and, as such, only some of the storyline happened (same goes for Reset which, although it happened, did not end like it did in the series in my head. Dead Man Walking and A Day in the Death DID NOT HAPPEN. I’m in my happy place now ...). Episodes like Adrift, Something Borrowed and Out of the Rain did happen, though (Like I said before: happy place) and may be referred to or even flash-backed to from time to time.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood or Buffy the Vampire Slayer … I do however own the cracked story idea - and proud of it, thankyouverymuch! I don’t own the title of this story either, however, that was thought up by the wonderful ickle18(I say wonderful because anyone who can come up with this title must be), the daughter of missthingsplace THANK YOU!
My other stories and links to the chapters of Magic and Mayhem (and Vampires, Demons and Torchwood) can be found here, at my master list.
Here's part B :)
I'm aiming for part A of chapter 19 to be out tomorrow. No promises though coz ... well ... coz I suck at writing to a deadline, that's why.
Thanks to skullgirl013 for beta'ing :)
Previous chapters: Ch.1 Ch. 2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8 Ch.9 Ch.10 Ch.11a Ch.11b Ch.12 Ch.13 Ch.14 Ch.15 Interlude #1 Ch.16a Ch.16b Ch.17a Ch.17b Ch.18a
Chapter 18b: Foreign Objects.
09:31
“I know, Tom,” Martha said, over the phone, as she sat on the sofa. “But I would rather stay here.”
“You’d rather stay there than come back to London temporarily and spend some time with me?” Tom enquired, irritably.
“I’m not saying that,” Martha replied.
“Sounds like you are, to me,” he said. “You can’t have me and Torchwood, Martha,” he snapped. “You need to choose.”
“Don’t make me choose between you and my friends,” Martha said.
“Why, because you wouldn’t want to lose them?” Tom demanded.
“No, because I wouldn’t choose you!” Martha yelled, taking the phone from her ear and flipping it shut with a ‘snap’.
“Problems?” Ianto enquired, offering Martha a cup of strong cappuccino coffee with chocolate sprinkles.
“Thanks,” she said, with a sincere smile, as he sat down next to her. She assumed he had recovered from his embarrassment over a few hours before. “Tom is annoyed because I don't want to go back to London for U.N.I.T..”
“Ah,” Ianto said, understandingly. “I see. Why don't you?”
“Because my home is here now,” she explained.
“Not with him?”
She looked round at him. “What?”
“If your home is here, rather than with him, how can you even think of marrying him?”
She sighed. “You’re too smart for your own good,” she said.
Ianto smirked. “So I’ve been told,” he said, sipping his own coffee as she sipped hers.
“So you think I should break it off with him?” she said.
“I think you need to talk things through with him,” he replied. “But if you can ask me something like that so calmly, as though you don't care ...”
Martha buried her face in her cappuccino for a moment. “I don't know how I feel about him anymore. I know I love this place and I wouldn't give up working here for the world.”
“Maybe Tom could come here?”
She shook her head. “He’s made his feelings about Cardiff and Torchwood quite clear.”
“Doesn’t like?”
“Understatement.”
“Ah.” Ianto leaned back against the back of the sofa and sighed. “Do you think I’m being silly refusing to actually marry Jack for the reasons I stated?” he asked, softly.
“I think you have to stick with what you believe,” Martha replied. “But I think relationships require compromises.”
Ianto sighed. “What are you getting at?”
Martha smiled. “I’m not going to interfere. Just remember; compromises.” She stood up. “I’m going to see if Owen needs help with anything.” She gestured at the cup in her hands. “Thanks for the cappuccino.”
Ianto smiled back at her and nodded. “Any time.”
10:12
“Ianto.” The kitchen door opened and Buffy stepped in.
“Hello,” Ianto replied. “Want a cup of coffee?”
Buffy shook her head. “Actually, I need something out of the archives.”
Ianto raised an eyebrow. “Has this been cleared with Jack?” he asked.
She nodded. “Yes,” she said, with a small smile. “Don't worry.”
If Ianto thought Buffy was anything, it wasn’t dishonest. “Okay then. What do you need?”
Buffy pulled a piece of paper out of the back of her trousers and passed it over. “I ... we need everything on this list.”
Ianto stared at it, blinked three times and then looked back at Buffy. “Is this for another of Tosh’s projects? Don't think I didn’t hear you three destroying the hub earlier. You should have seen how mad Jack was. It’ll be me that cleans that up!”
Buffy smirked, sheepishly. “If I volunteer to help you tidy up, can I have what’s on that list?” Buffy asked. “Tosh is going to build some more guns like the one I was using earlier. She reckons that much stuff will make five or six.”
Ianto sighed, looked at the list again and then nodded. “If you help me tidy up and help me find the stuff then, yes, you can have it.” He smirked at her.
“Thank you,” Buffy said. “I feel like I’ve just negotiated hostages.” She grinned.
He passed her back the list. “When do you need the bits for?”
She glanced out of the kitchen door at Tosh and Willow, who were talking in the middle of the hub. “Um,” she said, “as soon as possible?”
Ianto sighed and turned round to switch off the coffee maker. “Well, I guess we should hunt through the archives then.”
11:34
“Ianto ... I have a request. Would you please wear a ring?”
“I’m not going to make you tell everyone, or advertise our Civil Partnership, but would you, please, wear a ring?”
“I love you, Ianto, and all I want is a symbol of that love on your hand.”
Jack pulled a face. “Ianto, I ...”
“You know, talkin’ to yourself is the first sign of madness,” a voice said behind him.
Jack spun round and actually blushed. “I ... uh ... I ...”
“It sounded like you were practicin’ asking that gorgeous catch of a Welshman of yours to wear a ring,” Faith said, stepping into the boardroom, closing the door behind her with a ‘snap’. “And the only reason you’d be practicing that would be if you and he were getting married.” She smirked. “You’re not very good at stealth. I suggest practicing at home in front of the mirror rather than somewhere someone can walk in on you after you made me swear not to tell a soul.”
Jack blushed more. “Yeah, you’re right,” he said, slightly awkwardly.
“Why do you even have to ask him? Doesn’t ring wearin’ come with marriage?”
“Civil Partnership,” Jack corrected with a sigh. “Not allowed to call it ‘marriage’.”
“Harsh,” Faith commented, walking across and hopping up to sit on the edge of the table. “Why’s he so against the word?”
“He has beliefs,” Jack said, sighing again.
“Like, religion?”
“No ... just beliefs.” Jack gave her a stern look. “You’re not going to tell anyone, right?”
Faith put a hand up. “Nah. I don't really give a damn so I don't care enough to tell anyone.” She hopped off the table and walked up to him until she was invading his personal space (and for Jack Harkness, that was rare). “But that’s why you chose me, right?” She ran her hands up his chest, growled at him and walked off.
Jack watched her go with a raised eyebrow. She got more confusing every day.
12:03
“Next time, Tosh can get her own stuff from the archives,” Buffy commented, as another alien item she’d picked up exploded in her face and caused her to sneeze.
Ianto chuckled, opening a drawer nearby. “It’s not that bad,” he said. “You get used to it after a while.” Something in the drawer flashed and Ianto blinked rapidly at it, trying to restore his eyesight.
“I don't plan to get used to it!” Buffy exclaimed, wrenching open the next drawer and pulling out a cylindrical object. “Is this the Mycoglycopic Transmitter?”
“Check the tag,” Ianto suggested, for what felt like the fiftieth time.
“It says Milometer,” she commented.
“Then I don't think it’s the Mycoglycopic Transmitter, do you?”
She pulled a face at him.
“Careful, your face will stick like that,” Ianto warned. He stopped what he was doing. “Oh, dear God, I sound like my mother.”
Buffy giggled and opened yet another drawer, retrieving another cylindrical object. “Aha!” she said, checking the tag. “Found it.” She held it up.
“There we go.” Ianto walked across and took it off her, wandering across the room and putting it in the bag for Tosh. He wondered how a girl as small as Buffy would be able to carry such a heavy looking bag.
“Only fifty more to go,” Buffy said.
“Three, actually,” Ianto corrected, smirking. “But I believe I filed them all together. Check the same drawer.”
Buffy rummaged around inside, blindly. She yelped.
“What? What is it?” he asked, walking over.
She pulled her hand out of the drawer; two fingers were held together by what looked like a metal crab. “Help,” she squeaked, trying to pull it off and only succeeding in making her fingers bleed.
Ianto reached into the drawer and pulled a second crab out, carefully, holding it, gingerly, next to the one attached to Buffy. They attracted each other, Buffy’s flying from her fingers and attaching itself to the other one. Ianto lobbed them both back into the drawer.
“Why do you even have that?” Buffy demanded.
“It was an alien artefact,” Ianto commented. “It was in the ‘mostly harmless’ category, the same as everything else in this section.” He gestured around him.
“Are you telling me,” Buffy snapped, around her fingers, which she was sucking the blood from, “that all this stuff is mostly harmless? Mostly?”
Ianto nodded.
“And you let me loose in here without even a warning?” Buffy was glaring daggers at him.
Ianto had the good grace to blush a bit. “I suppose I should have said something,” he admitted. “I just assumed you saw the ‘mostly harmless’ sign.” He pointed at a large sign attached to the cabinets.
Buffy glowered darkly at him and walked away to try and find another Mycoglyopic Transmitter for the gun. “Does anyone else ever come down here?” she asked, absently.
“Jack sometimes. He has his own section in which he keeps some scary things in.”
“Scary? What kind of scary?”
Ianto shrugged a bit. “Just objects we find he wants to keep to ‘arm ourselves for the future’.” He pulled an odd looking device, which looked like small pipe with lots of tennis rackets attached to it, out of the drawer, eyed it cautiously and then placed it nearby for putting back later. “Lots of high tech weapons, some parts of aliens and alien crafts. He doesn’t let the rest of us near them as a rule.”
“Why?”
“Time lines, I suppose,” Ianto replied. “We’ve learned not to question him about things like that.”
“You question him all the time.”
“But not about those things.”
Buffy sighed. “Here,” she said, holding up three cylinders. “Is that it?”
Ianto checked the list as Buffy put them in the bag. “I think so,” he said, checking it down. “Yes, that’s all of it.” He couldn’t help smiling at the relieved look on her face. “Want some help carrying the bag back into the hub?”
Buffy shook her head and walked across, lifting it up singlehanded as though it weighed nothing. “Nope,” she said. “I’ll be fine.” She turned and walked to the door. “Thanks for this.” She gestured at the bag.
“Any time,” Ianto said, a little dazed by her show of strength.
Buffy smiled at him and left.
Next: Chapter 19a
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Spike/Buffy, Willow/Tosh, Xander/Anya, Martha, Owen, Faith, some minor OCs, the Doctor, Donna.
Summary: Sequel to Magic and Mayhem at the Rift. The Scoobie gang, now fully integrated into the Torchwood group and settled in to their new lives, discover there’s more coming through the rift than the odd demon and alien. This story is set post Exit Wounds, so there are minor spoilers. However, I have major problems with Exit Wounds and, as such, only some of the storyline happened (same goes for Reset which, although it happened, did not end like it did in the series in my head. Dead Man Walking and A Day in the Death DID NOT HAPPEN. I’m in my happy place now ...). Episodes like Adrift, Something Borrowed and Out of the Rain did happen, though (Like I said before: happy place) and may be referred to or even flash-backed to from time to time.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood or Buffy the Vampire Slayer … I do however own the cracked story idea - and proud of it, thankyouverymuch! I don’t own the title of this story either, however, that was thought up by the wonderful ickle18(I say wonderful because anyone who can come up with this title must be), the daughter of missthingsplace THANK YOU!
My other stories and links to the chapters of Magic and Mayhem (and Vampires, Demons and Torchwood) can be found here, at my master list.
Here's part B :)
I'm aiming for part A of chapter 19 to be out tomorrow. No promises though coz ... well ... coz I suck at writing to a deadline, that's why.
Thanks to skullgirl013 for beta'ing :)
Previous chapters: Ch.1 Ch. 2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8 Ch.9 Ch.10 Ch.11a Ch.11b Ch.12 Ch.13 Ch.14 Ch.15 Interlude #1 Ch.16a Ch.16b Ch.17a Ch.17b Ch.18a
Chapter 18b: Foreign Objects.
09:31
“I know, Tom,” Martha said, over the phone, as she sat on the sofa. “But I would rather stay here.”
“You’d rather stay there than come back to London temporarily and spend some time with me?” Tom enquired, irritably.
“I’m not saying that,” Martha replied.
“Sounds like you are, to me,” he said. “You can’t have me and Torchwood, Martha,” he snapped. “You need to choose.”
“Don’t make me choose between you and my friends,” Martha said.
“Why, because you wouldn’t want to lose them?” Tom demanded.
“No, because I wouldn’t choose you!” Martha yelled, taking the phone from her ear and flipping it shut with a ‘snap’.
“Problems?” Ianto enquired, offering Martha a cup of strong cappuccino coffee with chocolate sprinkles.
“Thanks,” she said, with a sincere smile, as he sat down next to her. She assumed he had recovered from his embarrassment over a few hours before. “Tom is annoyed because I don't want to go back to London for U.N.I.T..”
“Ah,” Ianto said, understandingly. “I see. Why don't you?”
“Because my home is here now,” she explained.
“Not with him?”
She looked round at him. “What?”
“If your home is here, rather than with him, how can you even think of marrying him?”
She sighed. “You’re too smart for your own good,” she said.
Ianto smirked. “So I’ve been told,” he said, sipping his own coffee as she sipped hers.
“So you think I should break it off with him?” she said.
“I think you need to talk things through with him,” he replied. “But if you can ask me something like that so calmly, as though you don't care ...”
Martha buried her face in her cappuccino for a moment. “I don't know how I feel about him anymore. I know I love this place and I wouldn't give up working here for the world.”
“Maybe Tom could come here?”
She shook her head. “He’s made his feelings about Cardiff and Torchwood quite clear.”
“Doesn’t like?”
“Understatement.”
“Ah.” Ianto leaned back against the back of the sofa and sighed. “Do you think I’m being silly refusing to actually marry Jack for the reasons I stated?” he asked, softly.
“I think you have to stick with what you believe,” Martha replied. “But I think relationships require compromises.”
Ianto sighed. “What are you getting at?”
Martha smiled. “I’m not going to interfere. Just remember; compromises.” She stood up. “I’m going to see if Owen needs help with anything.” She gestured at the cup in her hands. “Thanks for the cappuccino.”
Ianto smiled back at her and nodded. “Any time.”
10:12
“Ianto.” The kitchen door opened and Buffy stepped in.
“Hello,” Ianto replied. “Want a cup of coffee?”
Buffy shook her head. “Actually, I need something out of the archives.”
Ianto raised an eyebrow. “Has this been cleared with Jack?” he asked.
She nodded. “Yes,” she said, with a small smile. “Don't worry.”
If Ianto thought Buffy was anything, it wasn’t dishonest. “Okay then. What do you need?”
Buffy pulled a piece of paper out of the back of her trousers and passed it over. “I ... we need everything on this list.”
Ianto stared at it, blinked three times and then looked back at Buffy. “Is this for another of Tosh’s projects? Don't think I didn’t hear you three destroying the hub earlier. You should have seen how mad Jack was. It’ll be me that cleans that up!”
Buffy smirked, sheepishly. “If I volunteer to help you tidy up, can I have what’s on that list?” Buffy asked. “Tosh is going to build some more guns like the one I was using earlier. She reckons that much stuff will make five or six.”
Ianto sighed, looked at the list again and then nodded. “If you help me tidy up and help me find the stuff then, yes, you can have it.” He smirked at her.
“Thank you,” Buffy said. “I feel like I’ve just negotiated hostages.” She grinned.
He passed her back the list. “When do you need the bits for?”
She glanced out of the kitchen door at Tosh and Willow, who were talking in the middle of the hub. “Um,” she said, “as soon as possible?”
Ianto sighed and turned round to switch off the coffee maker. “Well, I guess we should hunt through the archives then.”
11:34
“Ianto ... I have a request. Would you please wear a ring?”
“I’m not going to make you tell everyone, or advertise our Civil Partnership, but would you, please, wear a ring?”
“I love you, Ianto, and all I want is a symbol of that love on your hand.”
Jack pulled a face. “Ianto, I ...”
“You know, talkin’ to yourself is the first sign of madness,” a voice said behind him.
Jack spun round and actually blushed. “I ... uh ... I ...”
“It sounded like you were practicin’ asking that gorgeous catch of a Welshman of yours to wear a ring,” Faith said, stepping into the boardroom, closing the door behind her with a ‘snap’. “And the only reason you’d be practicing that would be if you and he were getting married.” She smirked. “You’re not very good at stealth. I suggest practicing at home in front of the mirror rather than somewhere someone can walk in on you after you made me swear not to tell a soul.”
Jack blushed more. “Yeah, you’re right,” he said, slightly awkwardly.
“Why do you even have to ask him? Doesn’t ring wearin’ come with marriage?”
“Civil Partnership,” Jack corrected with a sigh. “Not allowed to call it ‘marriage’.”
“Harsh,” Faith commented, walking across and hopping up to sit on the edge of the table. “Why’s he so against the word?”
“He has beliefs,” Jack said, sighing again.
“Like, religion?”
“No ... just beliefs.” Jack gave her a stern look. “You’re not going to tell anyone, right?”
Faith put a hand up. “Nah. I don't really give a damn so I don't care enough to tell anyone.” She hopped off the table and walked up to him until she was invading his personal space (and for Jack Harkness, that was rare). “But that’s why you chose me, right?” She ran her hands up his chest, growled at him and walked off.
Jack watched her go with a raised eyebrow. She got more confusing every day.
12:03
“Next time, Tosh can get her own stuff from the archives,” Buffy commented, as another alien item she’d picked up exploded in her face and caused her to sneeze.
Ianto chuckled, opening a drawer nearby. “It’s not that bad,” he said. “You get used to it after a while.” Something in the drawer flashed and Ianto blinked rapidly at it, trying to restore his eyesight.
“I don't plan to get used to it!” Buffy exclaimed, wrenching open the next drawer and pulling out a cylindrical object. “Is this the Mycoglycopic Transmitter?”
“Check the tag,” Ianto suggested, for what felt like the fiftieth time.
“It says Milometer,” she commented.
“Then I don't think it’s the Mycoglycopic Transmitter, do you?”
She pulled a face at him.
“Careful, your face will stick like that,” Ianto warned. He stopped what he was doing. “Oh, dear God, I sound like my mother.”
Buffy giggled and opened yet another drawer, retrieving another cylindrical object. “Aha!” she said, checking the tag. “Found it.” She held it up.
“There we go.” Ianto walked across and took it off her, wandering across the room and putting it in the bag for Tosh. He wondered how a girl as small as Buffy would be able to carry such a heavy looking bag.
“Only fifty more to go,” Buffy said.
“Three, actually,” Ianto corrected, smirking. “But I believe I filed them all together. Check the same drawer.”
Buffy rummaged around inside, blindly. She yelped.
“What? What is it?” he asked, walking over.
She pulled her hand out of the drawer; two fingers were held together by what looked like a metal crab. “Help,” she squeaked, trying to pull it off and only succeeding in making her fingers bleed.
Ianto reached into the drawer and pulled a second crab out, carefully, holding it, gingerly, next to the one attached to Buffy. They attracted each other, Buffy’s flying from her fingers and attaching itself to the other one. Ianto lobbed them both back into the drawer.
“Why do you even have that?” Buffy demanded.
“It was an alien artefact,” Ianto commented. “It was in the ‘mostly harmless’ category, the same as everything else in this section.” He gestured around him.
“Are you telling me,” Buffy snapped, around her fingers, which she was sucking the blood from, “that all this stuff is mostly harmless? Mostly?”
Ianto nodded.
“And you let me loose in here without even a warning?” Buffy was glaring daggers at him.
Ianto had the good grace to blush a bit. “I suppose I should have said something,” he admitted. “I just assumed you saw the ‘mostly harmless’ sign.” He pointed at a large sign attached to the cabinets.
Buffy glowered darkly at him and walked away to try and find another Mycoglyopic Transmitter for the gun. “Does anyone else ever come down here?” she asked, absently.
“Jack sometimes. He has his own section in which he keeps some scary things in.”
“Scary? What kind of scary?”
Ianto shrugged a bit. “Just objects we find he wants to keep to ‘arm ourselves for the future’.” He pulled an odd looking device, which looked like small pipe with lots of tennis rackets attached to it, out of the drawer, eyed it cautiously and then placed it nearby for putting back later. “Lots of high tech weapons, some parts of aliens and alien crafts. He doesn’t let the rest of us near them as a rule.”
“Why?”
“Time lines, I suppose,” Ianto replied. “We’ve learned not to question him about things like that.”
“You question him all the time.”
“But not about those things.”
Buffy sighed. “Here,” she said, holding up three cylinders. “Is that it?”
Ianto checked the list as Buffy put them in the bag. “I think so,” he said, checking it down. “Yes, that’s all of it.” He couldn’t help smiling at the relieved look on her face. “Want some help carrying the bag back into the hub?”
Buffy shook her head and walked across, lifting it up singlehanded as though it weighed nothing. “Nope,” she said. “I’ll be fine.” She turned and walked to the door. “Thanks for this.” She gestured at the bag.
“Any time,” Ianto said, a little dazed by her show of strength.
Buffy smiled at him and left.
Next: Chapter 19a