Thirty-seventh Riff

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... I can't think of a single goddamned resolution.

I usually come up with 'em every year, even if I don't do my best to follow 'em, but... They were really simple things at the time. "Be successful in music." Always worked. "Give up smoking." Well, I actually managed that one last year. Thanks guys. Seriously. Maybe learn a new instrument, that sort of thing.

But now... I'm havin' trouble.

Mostly because I can't admit anything to myself.

And I think I know why I can't come up with any.

I... really can't say I know myself that well.

I'm havin' trouble even wrappin' my head around that statement. I just don't know myself. I know what I'm capable of, yeah, and I know I'm not really a bad person. Couldn't be, right? Not to make the awesome friends I have here.

But the, uh... "Christmas ghosts" sorta left me in a fucked up existential crisis. I choked it down for a few days, but I'm tired of just holdin' it back.

I don't know what I want anymore. Music's not really helpin' now, and it has me a little scared.

... Fuck it. I'm depressed.

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