humor
Dysfunctional Greeting Cards
I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life...
[Inside card] I've changed my mind.
I must admit, you brought religion into my life...
[Inside card] I never believed in Hell until I met you.
As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
[Inside card] That you're not here to ruin it for me.
Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....
[Inside card] Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.
Someday I hope to marry...
[Inside card] Someone other than you.
Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....
[Inside card] Almost lifelike!
When we were together, you said you'd die for me...
[Inside card] Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.
We've been friends for a very long time...
[Inside card] What do you say we stop?
I'm so miserable without you...
[Inside card] It's almost like you're still here.
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
[Inside card] Did you ever find out who the father was?
You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...
[Inside card] I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.
Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...
[Inside card] So we're having you put to sleep.
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
Available only in Alabama, Mississippi, and Arkansas
Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help but wonder...
[Inside card] - What was I thinking?
Congratulations on your wedding day!...
[Inside card] Too bad no one likes your husband.
hehehe-I'ld be tempted to send these to my ex if I wasn't so nice
I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life...
[Inside card] I've changed my mind.
I must admit, you brought religion into my life...
[Inside card] I never believed in Hell until I met you.
As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
[Inside card] That you're not here to ruin it for me.
Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....
[Inside card] Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.
Someday I hope to marry...
[Inside card] Someone other than you.
Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....
[Inside card] Almost lifelike!
When we were together, you said you'd die for me...
[Inside card] Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.
We've been friends for a very long time...
[Inside card] What do you say we stop?
I'm so miserable without you...
[Inside card] It's almost like you're still here.
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
[Inside card] Did you ever find out who the father was?
You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...
[Inside card] I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.
Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...
[Inside card] So we're having you put to sleep.
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
Available only in Alabama, Mississippi, and Arkansas
Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help but wonder...
[Inside card] - What was I thinking?
Congratulations on your wedding day!...
[Inside card] Too bad no one likes your husband.
hehehe-I'ld be tempted to send these to my ex if I wasn't so nice