"IT TAKES ALL I AM TO BELIEVE, IN THE MERCY THAT COVERS ME. DID YOU REALLY HAVE TO DIE FOR ME?!..."
...For all I am for all You are cuz what I need and what I believe are worlds apart... so I pray... take my world apart I am on my knees. Take my world apart. Broken on my knees...
I look beyond the empty cross
FORGETTING WHAT MY LIFE HAS COST
Wipe away the crimson stains
dull the nails that still remain
MORE AND MORE I NEED YOU NOW
I owe you more each passing hour
BATTLES BETWEEN GRACE AND PRIDE
gave up not so long ago
STEAL MY HEART
take the pain
wash my feet
AND CLEANSE MY PRIDE
take the selfish
take the weak
ALL THE THINGS I CANNOT HIDE
take my BEAUTY
take my tears
SIN SOAKED HEART MAKE IT YOURS
take my world all apart
take it now
take it now
SERVE THE ONES THAT I DESPISE
Speak the words I can't deny
WATCH A WORLD I USED TO LOVE
Fall to dust and blow away
TAKE MY WORLD APART
Hallelujah
When I was a little girl and life was so much easier and God was so much bigger and I was so much smaller and my world was so naive and pure, I used to light candles and sit in the middle of my floor and just worship my Lord and Savior. (oh yeah and my lava lamp would be on too) I would just sit for hours and hours writing in my journal or singing praise songs off of my WOW Cd's and Sonic Flood and an occasional DC talk and always always always my precious Jars of Clay. Things were different though. My brother would come barging in or my cat would jump on my lap. My daddy would sleepily walk in to say goodnight and he would hug and kiss me and we would pinky promise each other that we love each other and goodnight. My mom would be on the couch reading her Bible or watching TV waiting for the whole house to be asleep before she would go to sleep and when I got all finished I’d run out and say goodnight to her.
But things are different now. Such as my boyfriend just calling and totally interrupting my thoughts. I sit in the middle of my floor still but it's a very different floor. My brother is many states away and it's Ashley coming in to see if I'm home :) :) Alie is a wall away spending time with Jesus. Jamie and Kristin are in dream land because they have jobs and wake up early. My parents are in a different house and we're all in a different state than we were back then. I have ONE candle and no lava lamp. Instead of my huge CD player and speakers, I'm listening on my laptop and some little speakers that Sterl gave me. My heart isn't the same and my outlook on life isn't as sweet and innocent. I've been hurt. I've been broken. I've been taken advantage of. I've been screwed over. I'm not so beautiful anymore. "I wanna be worthy of love and beautiful." I'm more snappy. I'm more easily angered. My flesh is ever present and ever winning the battle that is raging inside of me between my sweet Christ like Spirit and my fleshy sinful self. All of those things have changed but very few stay the same. Such as Jesus Christ. He is the same God who spoke so clearly back then. He's the same God who seems so silent right now. The God who was ever present back then is the same God who seems so distant. The God who listened to me back then is the same God beyond my ceiling, the ceiling that catches all of my prayers and doesn't let them pass. And I'm the same. I'm still Rachel Lynn Roose. Born on September 9th and reborn at the age of 6. The same freckles, brown eyes and dimples. And Jars of Clay is the same. The song that I wrote out above still penetrates to the deepest parts of my heart and convicts me like none other. It's the song that brings tears to my eyes and makes me feel farther and closer to Jesus all at once. I have forgotten what my life has cost. This world has taken over me...
"EVERLASTING YOUR LIGHT WILL SHINE WHEN ALL ELSE FADES. NEVER ENDING YOUR GLORY GOES BEYOND ALL FAME AND THE CRY OF MY HEART IS TO BRING YOU PRAISE FROM THE INSIDE OUT LORD MY HEART CRIES OUT!!!!!!!!! MY HEART AND MY SOUL I GIVE YOU CONTROL! CONSUME ME FROM THE INSIDE OUT!!! LET JUSTICE AND PRAISE BECOME MY EMBRACE TO LOVE YOU FROM THE INSIDE OUT"
I heard that song above by Hillsong for the first time at Passion. It’s amazing… one of my favorites. I’m kinda writing along with the playlist I made for this evening. =) Now the song playing is Everything by lifehouse. Yet again it’s the most played on my I-tunes… out of weeks of songs Everything gets played most….
HOW CAN I STAND HERE WITH YOU AND NOT BE MOVED BY YOU?! WOULD YOU TELL ME HOW COULD IT BE ANY BETTER THAN THIS? You hold me in your hands, you won’t let me fall. You still my heart. You take my breath away. Would you take me deeper now. CUZ YOU’RE ALL I WANT. YOU’RE ALL I NEED. YOU’RE EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. YOU’RE ALL I WANT. YOU’RE ALL I NEED. YOU’RE EVERYTHING.
That’s it. Goodnight.