Jim woods
It was spring of 1977. I had just meet a beautiful young lady named Lynn. We had been going out for two weeks and I was asked to come to dinner and sit down and met the folks.
It was a daunting request because I cared about her a lot and I worried about the impression I would make on her parents. Something that everyone seems to dread.
I remember walking into the house and smelling a wonderful mixture of smells coming from the kitchen.
It was then at I first saw the man that is her father. As I looked at him. He seemed to be a giant of a man. His broad shoulders. His muscles, that seemed to be made of the same iron Lynn told me he worked with as a horse shoer stood before me. His brown hair made his light colored eyes stand out more.
It was his eyes that caught me. As I faced him and looked at him I understood what it was like to be a piece of raw iron. I felt that I was being measured. Studied to see if I was solid and sturdy. To find if I had what it would take. Would I just bend when I was being forged by life or would I break under the stress of what life had to offer.
It only took a few seconds for him to look at me and decide. It felt like hours standing under his gaze in the warm light of the country kitchen. Nothing seemed to move until his slowly nodded his head ever so slightly. I seemed to passed to first test. I knew I had made it to the next level when at the end of a wonderful dinner 3/5 of the family started having a burping contest.
Flash forward to a early spring afternoon in 1979. Lynn and I were about to get married in a week or two. I was having another Sunday dinner with my soon to be in laws. The food had been served and we had sat as a family eating and enjoying each others company. Jim looked at me as the dishes were being put into the sink and said “take a walk with me”
We walked out the back door and crossed the back lawn. The old barn looming in front of us. We walked in silence until we reached the fenced in section of his farm. We stood and saw the horse eating the newly green grass where they could find it. After a few moments I looked at him and watched as he stared not only at the horse and farm he loved but also at something only he could see.
And I waited.
Then I heard him ask me:
“ Do you what the most important part of a marriage is?”
I thought for a moment and answered:
“Never to go to bed angry.” I had heard it and thought that it was good advise. I did not want to seem as if I knew nothing. I wanted this man that I had grown to respect and admire to know that I had put a lot of thought into what we were about to do.
Without moving he said “No”
I was somewhat puzzled by his answer. But I had learned that Jim a very wise man. I always wanted his advise. I sought his approval. The one thing I did not want to do was disappoint him. I had already done that once and I had no intention of doing it twice.
So I said “tell me”
He slowly turned his head and again I felt the gaze of a horse shoer looking at his raw material. He looked at me and I stood to be measured. He told me
“ The most important thing in a marrige was to take care of each other.”
I stood letting his words sink in and find their place.
Then he said “Are you going to take care of my little girl?”
I looked back and said “Yes I will take care of her forever, I promise.”
Again he stared at me and after a long time he gave me a small nod of the head.
We headed back to the house.
Flash forward to May 10, 2012.
We got the phone call 5:25am in the morning. Jim had passed away at 5:15.
By 8:30 we had driven the 50 minutes to their house. We wanted to see him one more time before they took him.
After spending some time with mom we went over to the bed where he was. It was set up next to the large windows in the living room so he could look out into the world of nature that he loved.
We walked over and spent some time with him, holding each other and seeing for ourselves that he had gone.
Later, no more than an hour I found myself standing next to him. In my mind I saw the man that I had grown to think of as my father. Never having one as I grew up this was a man I looked up to. More than anything else I did not want to disappoint him.
I bent over and kissed him softly on his forehead and said to him “ I promised to take care of her forever Jim, and I promise you again that I will.”
In my mind I saw him there looking out to a place only he could see and there in my minds eye I saw him give me a small nod.
As I looked at him laying there with his head slightly tilted to the window I think I know what he saw. I feel I know where his gaze is now.
Remember Jim second star to the left and straight on til morning.
With all my love and respect.
Bob
It was a daunting request because I cared about her a lot and I worried about the impression I would make on her parents. Something that everyone seems to dread.
I remember walking into the house and smelling a wonderful mixture of smells coming from the kitchen.
It was then at I first saw the man that is her father. As I looked at him. He seemed to be a giant of a man. His broad shoulders. His muscles, that seemed to be made of the same iron Lynn told me he worked with as a horse shoer stood before me. His brown hair made his light colored eyes stand out more.
It was his eyes that caught me. As I faced him and looked at him I understood what it was like to be a piece of raw iron. I felt that I was being measured. Studied to see if I was solid and sturdy. To find if I had what it would take. Would I just bend when I was being forged by life or would I break under the stress of what life had to offer.
It only took a few seconds for him to look at me and decide. It felt like hours standing under his gaze in the warm light of the country kitchen. Nothing seemed to move until his slowly nodded his head ever so slightly. I seemed to passed to first test. I knew I had made it to the next level when at the end of a wonderful dinner 3/5 of the family started having a burping contest.
Flash forward to a early spring afternoon in 1979. Lynn and I were about to get married in a week or two. I was having another Sunday dinner with my soon to be in laws. The food had been served and we had sat as a family eating and enjoying each others company. Jim looked at me as the dishes were being put into the sink and said “take a walk with me”
We walked out the back door and crossed the back lawn. The old barn looming in front of us. We walked in silence until we reached the fenced in section of his farm. We stood and saw the horse eating the newly green grass where they could find it. After a few moments I looked at him and watched as he stared not only at the horse and farm he loved but also at something only he could see.
And I waited.
Then I heard him ask me:
“ Do you what the most important part of a marriage is?”
I thought for a moment and answered:
“Never to go to bed angry.” I had heard it and thought that it was good advise. I did not want to seem as if I knew nothing. I wanted this man that I had grown to respect and admire to know that I had put a lot of thought into what we were about to do.
Without moving he said “No”
I was somewhat puzzled by his answer. But I had learned that Jim a very wise man. I always wanted his advise. I sought his approval. The one thing I did not want to do was disappoint him. I had already done that once and I had no intention of doing it twice.
So I said “tell me”
He slowly turned his head and again I felt the gaze of a horse shoer looking at his raw material. He looked at me and I stood to be measured. He told me
“ The most important thing in a marrige was to take care of each other.”
I stood letting his words sink in and find their place.
Then he said “Are you going to take care of my little girl?”
I looked back and said “Yes I will take care of her forever, I promise.”
Again he stared at me and after a long time he gave me a small nod of the head.
We headed back to the house.
Flash forward to May 10, 2012.
We got the phone call 5:25am in the morning. Jim had passed away at 5:15.
By 8:30 we had driven the 50 minutes to their house. We wanted to see him one more time before they took him.
After spending some time with mom we went over to the bed where he was. It was set up next to the large windows in the living room so he could look out into the world of nature that he loved.
We walked over and spent some time with him, holding each other and seeing for ourselves that he had gone.
Later, no more than an hour I found myself standing next to him. In my mind I saw the man that I had grown to think of as my father. Never having one as I grew up this was a man I looked up to. More than anything else I did not want to disappoint him.
I bent over and kissed him softly on his forehead and said to him “ I promised to take care of her forever Jim, and I promise you again that I will.”
In my mind I saw him there looking out to a place only he could see and there in my minds eye I saw him give me a small nod.
As I looked at him laying there with his head slightly tilted to the window I think I know what he saw. I feel I know where his gaze is now.
Remember Jim second star to the left and straight on til morning.
With all my love and respect.
Bob