True or False?
Most therapists spend their lives in therapy.
The answer is true. I guess it comes from the fact that we spend so much of our lives helping others work out their problems that our own get neglected... sometimes dangerously so. Think about it- if you're a plumber, you spend all day fixing other people's plumbing. Then imagine you come home and your partner tells you your toilet is broken, or the shower drain is clogged. The last thing you want to do after spending the last 8-9 hours fixing other people's toilets and drains is fix your own. Understandably, the last thing you may want to see when you come home is a drain or a toilet, to the point where you pee outside on a tree or bush, just so you don't have to look at something you just stared at every five out of seven days for who knows how many years.
I understand how this concept applies to people like me. When discussing with my partner concepts of child-rearing and how co-parenting is a must, as well as presenting with a united front, and general parenting preferences, I nearly had an embolism. Fortunately for me, my partner is savvy enough on my job and profession to be kind enough to discontinue the conversation when I asked him to, after I carefully explained that I had just spent all day doing this exact thing with my families. I say "carefully explained" because if I didn't maintain enough control, I very well may have lost it and become angry or frustrated, or began feeling hopeless at the potential futility of it all.
To be honest, I had spent 10 hours going over the exact same crap and attempting to drill it into people's heads that wonder why their kids are doing/selling drugs, getting charged for physical assault, breaking and entering, running away, and in reality running the house and their parents into the ground. The last thing I wanted to do was discuss these same principles with anyone- even my partner that would be completely receptive.
That scenario happened months ago, but it replays itself in my mind for some reason this evening. My colleagues and I decided to hold each other responsible for maintaining our own "self care" during the week- making sure we take time each week to do something for ourselves, because if we don't, we might just start feeling as hopeless about our lives as some of our parents do about their children.
So it's true- most therapists spend their lives in therapy. A part of me is beginning to wonder how much of it is so we are in an accountability relationship- someone to report to once a week or once every 14 days that will make sure that we are taking care of one of the most important things in our lives-
Ourselves.
The answer is true. I guess it comes from the fact that we spend so much of our lives helping others work out their problems that our own get neglected... sometimes dangerously so. Think about it- if you're a plumber, you spend all day fixing other people's plumbing. Then imagine you come home and your partner tells you your toilet is broken, or the shower drain is clogged. The last thing you want to do after spending the last 8-9 hours fixing other people's toilets and drains is fix your own. Understandably, the last thing you may want to see when you come home is a drain or a toilet, to the point where you pee outside on a tree or bush, just so you don't have to look at something you just stared at every five out of seven days for who knows how many years.
I understand how this concept applies to people like me. When discussing with my partner concepts of child-rearing and how co-parenting is a must, as well as presenting with a united front, and general parenting preferences, I nearly had an embolism. Fortunately for me, my partner is savvy enough on my job and profession to be kind enough to discontinue the conversation when I asked him to, after I carefully explained that I had just spent all day doing this exact thing with my families. I say "carefully explained" because if I didn't maintain enough control, I very well may have lost it and become angry or frustrated, or began feeling hopeless at the potential futility of it all.
To be honest, I had spent 10 hours going over the exact same crap and attempting to drill it into people's heads that wonder why their kids are doing/selling drugs, getting charged for physical assault, breaking and entering, running away, and in reality running the house and their parents into the ground. The last thing I wanted to do was discuss these same principles with anyone- even my partner that would be completely receptive.
That scenario happened months ago, but it replays itself in my mind for some reason this evening. My colleagues and I decided to hold each other responsible for maintaining our own "self care" during the week- making sure we take time each week to do something for ourselves, because if we don't, we might just start feeling as hopeless about our lives as some of our parents do about their children.
So it's true- most therapists spend their lives in therapy. A part of me is beginning to wonder how much of it is so we are in an accountability relationship- someone to report to once a week or once every 14 days that will make sure that we are taking care of one of the most important things in our lives-
Ourselves.