Over in a community about spilling secrets a young woman annoymously posts that she loves sucking her boyfriend off while he's sleeping
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Basically - if no-one is upset by it, well done! You have successfully discerned the attitudes of the people you are sleeping with and are not a rapist. However, doing this _risks_ you being a rapist - if one of those dudes turns out to be upset by it. So it's safer to ask - but like all risk calculations, whether you actually bother asking depends on how much you value not asking versus how much you care about the risk you'll be a rapist.
What would be a bad thing to do would be to protest, when confronted by someone you did just perform a sex act on that they didn't want, that all other dudes were fine with it and they're just weird. Sorry, at that point you have lost, you are a rapist, and you should at the very least apologise abjectly and see if there's any way you can make it up to them, not brush it off.
My guess - and I guess we'll find out during the voting - is that the risk of being a rapist in this situation is really low.
I could be wrong, but in my experience, getting woken up with a blow job is something that happens in relationships (usually if it's your birthday or christmas.) No woman has ever asked me beforehand.
*nod* Basically that. It's so easy to just ask, though. "Hey, how do you feel about being woken up by my mouth around your cock?"
I tend to establish that right off the bat in new involvements, then we both know, then fun times can commence. Same with saying "hey, I'm fine with you waking me up with some sexytimes, but I want nothing inside me unless I'm already awake." It's really quite simple.
This may be completely sexist of me, but I would always ask a woman if she was OK with me waking her up with sexytimes, but I would never expect a woman to ask me the same question.
Mostly because to my feeling going down on a woman is much more invasive than having someone kiss my cock.
I think that it's just a cultural thing in our society that women are more likely to get upset by this than men, so the risk with a woman is much greater. That's society being sexist, not you - you're just paying attention to the relative risks.
Fwiw, for me, the question just has to get as far as "how do you feel about being woken up" before the answer becomes "That's never fun under any circumstances." Somebody actively waking me up may be necessary to catch an early train or the like, but other than that, no.
Blerch, yes. Waking up is horrid. Everyone I date knows I hate waking up, and wouldn't try something like that. I wouldn't try something like that because it would involve somehow waking up before the other person which is really... not common for me.
What would be a bad thing to do would be to protest, when confronted by someone you did just perform a sex act on that they didn't want, that all other dudes were fine with it and they're just weird. Sorry, at that point you have lost, you are a rapist, and you should at the very least apologise abjectly and see if there's any way you can make it up to them, not brush it off.
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I could be wrong, but in my experience, getting woken up with a blow job is something that happens in relationships (usually if it's your birthday or christmas.) No woman has ever asked me beforehand.
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I tend to establish that right off the bat in new involvements, then we both know, then fun times can commence. Same with saying "hey, I'm fine with you waking me up with some sexytimes, but I want nothing inside me unless I'm already awake." It's really quite simple.
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Mostly because to my feeling going down on a woman is much more invasive than having someone kiss my cock.
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