Deep Thoughts

Feb 04, 2012 14:37

Sometimes I think to myself "Why does a pretty, intelligent put together woman like Rome Girl put up with my shit? I drink a bunch, I don't make a lot of money and I have mental health issues ( Read more... )

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Comments 27

zaplightsmusic February 4 2012, 13:57:29 UTC
i don't know you very well, but you seem very bullshit-free, and that is a wonderful characteristic in a partner.

you may have mental health issues, but you are working on them, and the fact you see a shrink means you are actively working to combat negative stuff in your life, and you're open to change, and you ARE changing, for the better, over time, as opposed to some people who remain mired in their issues.

these two things make you different... not just compared to other men, but compared to other people. maybe i'm cynical but i see so much fucking BULLSHIT in dating and relationships where people pretend to be something they're not or hide something huge about themselves AND I see a lot of examples of people being unwilling to change or grow as a relationship requires ( ... )

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bart_calendar February 4 2012, 14:24:44 UTC
Oh, the stories I hear vary widely. I know one woman whose husband used to get so drunk he'd piss the bed a couple times a week - and didn't see anything wrong with this and demanded that she clean it up in the morning because she was the woman ( ... )

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bart_calendar February 4 2012, 14:54:55 UTC
It makes me wonder if I had a really good body and a ton of money just how much bullshit I could get away with with women.

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clevermanka February 4 2012, 14:00:40 UTC
I have low expectations of humanity in general, not just men.

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tibbie_x February 4 2012, 14:48:26 UTC
I have high expectations and assume the best and am consistently let down when people turn out to be severely insane in an unfunny way....and then mad at myself for expecting them to be otherwise.

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_sweater February 4 2012, 14:46:07 UTC
do tell bart

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bart_calendar February 4 2012, 14:47:59 UTC
I gave some examples up above that are changed just enough from stories I've heard so as to not be recognizable to any of my friends reading here. I won't go into specifics for privacy concern reasons.

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sacramentalist February 4 2012, 15:07:21 UTC
Are you really down on yourself, or just pondering how shitty other men behave? Maybe these attributes you list don't negatively affect her. The fact you have empathy and self-awareness puts you streets ahead of a lot of troubled people.

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bart_calendar February 4 2012, 15:09:40 UTC
Not down on myself at all. Just pondering about how many shitty dude stories I hear - but didn't want to come off as "I am a nice guy why don't I get hot chicks" or "I am the greatest guy in the world!"

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sacramentalist February 4 2012, 15:12:36 UTC
I find a lot of women stop putting up with that shit in their 40's. It's a turkey-drop decade.

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hollowdoll February 4 2012, 15:41:33 UTC
They have. It's true. Part of the reason I'm filled with such dread at having to date again is because I had a really good relationship, and out of 35 people I've fucked and probably a good 100+ I've attempted to date, it was the only healthy/loving one I've ever had. I felt respected, I felt like my boundaries were honored, I felt I could trust him, I felt safe to be myself, I knew he would never abuse me...all sorts of good things. I have never once genuinely felt that way about anyone else I've been involved with; I consider it fortunate when I meet someone who doesn't have a history of hitting or otherwise abusing their partners. Grant you, I don't find myself dating such people (or if I do on accident, not for very long), but that does render a distinct lack of decent people available to me. :/

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