.sad.
I'm sad. I have been pretty much all day, except for a bit during lunch when I had a pumpkin pie and I was uberexcited.
In anatomy class today Doc A went on and on about everything that slows and eventually shuts down as someone ages. It made me sad. It made me think about my grandparents a lot. I like them. I don't want them to shut down. The rest of the day I've had the dreary "we're all just gonna get old and die anyway" outlook on life. Mixed with a lot of fearing the dying part. We talked about the epidemics that killed off a whole lot of South Americans after the conquistadors came and how evidence suggests it was a native virus, not smallpox brought by the Spanish. Interesting, but damn is that depressing. Work was slow. Maureen quit, Liz and Rose were at the other office, and the doctor is on vacation. So it was just me, Anna, Sue, and Pat doing mostly nothing. Even talk about new relationships and having kids didn't cheer me up. They're all just gonna grow old, die, and leave their kids behind. When I got home our new bunkbeds had arrived. Kelly was bossing around a lot and yelling at me for being emo. I just wanted to sleep but I didnt have a bed. We finally set them up and I put the sheet on my new top bunk. It kept creaking when I shifted my weight, making me feel fat and heavy. The we rewatched the Office. Cousin Mose makes me laugh. I love him. Kelly made a funny suggestion: Mose should hook up with Meredith. That would be funny. But the show makes me sad because I want Dwight and Angela back together. Sad Dwight make me sad. Somehow we got on the subject and Kelly told me that my grandpa wants to get rid of their health insurance because if either he or my grandma were to have surgery they wouldn't survive it. I really to make a joke about it because that's how I deal with things. But if I did Kelly would start crying so I stayed silent and we rewound the tape so Matt could watch it when he came home from work. Internet not great distraction either. Learned that Dumbledore is gay. Makes me miss Harry Potter. A lot. That further depresses me, because I am way too attached to books, movies, and television shows. I should go to sleep. But I'm Kelly's designated driver tonight. Shouldn't sleep when I'll be needed.
In anatomy class today Doc A went on and on about everything that slows and eventually shuts down as someone ages. It made me sad. It made me think about my grandparents a lot. I like them. I don't want them to shut down. The rest of the day I've had the dreary "we're all just gonna get old and die anyway" outlook on life. Mixed with a lot of fearing the dying part. We talked about the epidemics that killed off a whole lot of South Americans after the conquistadors came and how evidence suggests it was a native virus, not smallpox brought by the Spanish. Interesting, but damn is that depressing. Work was slow. Maureen quit, Liz and Rose were at the other office, and the doctor is on vacation. So it was just me, Anna, Sue, and Pat doing mostly nothing. Even talk about new relationships and having kids didn't cheer me up. They're all just gonna grow old, die, and leave their kids behind. When I got home our new bunkbeds had arrived. Kelly was bossing around a lot and yelling at me for being emo. I just wanted to sleep but I didnt have a bed. We finally set them up and I put the sheet on my new top bunk. It kept creaking when I shifted my weight, making me feel fat and heavy. The we rewatched the Office. Cousin Mose makes me laugh. I love him. Kelly made a funny suggestion: Mose should hook up with Meredith. That would be funny. But the show makes me sad because I want Dwight and Angela back together. Sad Dwight make me sad. Somehow we got on the subject and Kelly told me that my grandpa wants to get rid of their health insurance because if either he or my grandma were to have surgery they wouldn't survive it. I really to make a joke about it because that's how I deal with things. But if I did Kelly would start crying so I stayed silent and we rewound the tape so Matt could watch it when he came home from work. Internet not great distraction either. Learned that Dumbledore is gay. Makes me miss Harry Potter. A lot. That further depresses me, because I am way too attached to books, movies, and television shows. I should go to sleep. But I'm Kelly's designated driver tonight. Shouldn't sleep when I'll be needed.