changes, changes
What does who Sosael/etc has become say about who I've become, who I'm trying to become? She used to be a seething bundle of hate, for the world and for herself. Then she was, well, a vampire. Rule-bound, mopey, old and courtly. And now she's a mad spider. Who implies that she's now some sort of Bubble Doll, even as she offers a vial of Strange-filled blood from herself. Who claims to be the absent Queen of the Dolls, sort of.
Part of this, of course, is a mirror of the past few months of my life. "Later on, Vulture Mother turned me into a spider". A romantic entanglement with the mind behind Theeka. A lot of experimentation with submissive states of mind, most of which have ended in frustration.
She's still coming from somewhere deep in the back of my brain. She's still ready to hurt anyone. But she keeps saying she can't hurt herself any more. I'm still worried to have her in my head, to be honest. She still scares me. And I'm still worried that she's all I've been able to play on Puzzlebox lately.
Even when she's... nice and helpful, in her own cryptic way...
Frostbyte has a Problem: his creators built in a need for a chemical only they could provide. It's known as "Ring". Ibael decided to confuse the issue...
Frostbyte says, "Argh!"
Sumire says, "Well. He's awake."
Frostbyte says, "No I'm not."
Blue says, "Are too"
ibael pokes Frostbyte. "We know a cuuuuuuurrrre. Ring ring a dinga ding..."
Frostbyte looks to ibael. "And what do you have to say for yourself?"
ibael grins. "Turning shining gleaming rings. Suck and lick and gleam and clang."
Rinzen chuckles, wrapping his arms around Blue's waist, then all seven tails curl around her, mummifying her from shoulders to ankles. "Mmmmmmm ..." he coos, nuzzling at affectionate pretty hair. "Thank you."
Frostbyte raises an eyebrow. "I like the sound of that."
Sumire takes a step or two toward Frostbyte, since his previous conversational partners seem to have gotten wrapped up. "What's this about a cure?"
ibael smiles. "Extraction screaming, pain unending. Decay, decay, decay And Through!"
Frostbyte says, "Well you killed that fantasy in a hurry!"
ibael sucks on one of her fingers smiles "the skills we have are whole!" A laugh. "Weeeee know the shaaaape of Ring."
Frostbyte raises an eyebrow. "Now you have my attention again..."
Coalesce eyes the spider. "Lies again, eh?"
Frostbyte says, "Tell me what you know of Ring, Ibael."
ibael tosses her hair "You little addict Deathbringer Ringslave Wraith-dog-on-leash. Broken leash. Ring."
"Spider knows the scent of Ring Virus knows Virus remembers Virus forgets forgets hides slides hides."
Frostbyte narrows his eyes to ibael. "I may be all of those things, spider doll, but I have no need to sit here and be mocked. If you are a doll at all, if you were ever Theeka, tell me what you know of Ring."
ibael licks her lips. taps her pretty plastic skull. "Program."
ibael says, "Lies."
Frostbyte pats Ibael on the shoulder. "What are you saying?" Contrast goes up. A vague black/white cast falls over the pair. Suddenly they are the center of attention, a sharp harsh light pouring on them from somewhere.
ibael folds her arms around herself eyes and body-carvings a gleaming green sharp in the chiaroscuro "I punched him in the face And then I punched him again And again And again And there was only Pudding and Gravel and I punched again and I ground the Gravel into my Fist smearing it with- Lies." She laughs. "Lies lies." She taps Frostbyte's head. "Lies."
Frostbyte's fist clenches. "Even now, even rotting, with the teeth falling from my jaw and the quills from my back, with my fingernails loose, I could destroy you," he hisses, eyes burning in to ibael. But he doesn't. He wilts and looks away. "I'm afraid to change," he whispers. "I don't know what I'll be, afterwards."
Sumire rests a hand tentatively on Frostbyte's shoulder. "No need to fear change," he says, surprisingly gentle compared to his usual wry tone. "Better to fear stagnation."
ibael stands in silhouette arms spread wide Defenseless. "Oh, you could kill me Could you destroy me Destroy this toy Destroy every toy Destroy the tides I sing?" She doesn't wait. She grabs Frostbyte's skull in an iron grip. "Thou shalt be free," she breathes.
ibael lifts a decaying hand tenderly smiles plucks out fingernails one. by. one. "Lies."
Frostbyte clenches his hand in to a fist to hide his delicates, raising it in threat. "I am free," he lies, fist casting shadows over his eyes.
Frostbyte says, "...Does anything make you sad, ibael?"
Frostbyte lowers his fist, the light taking on a blue cast, making his fur seem bone-white and dead.
ibael smiles. "No."
Frostbyte says, "No wonder you look so empty."
ibael smiles. "We are tired of sad. Inhatti was sad. Sosael was sad. We alternate Sad and Not-Sad."
ibael runs hands up Frostbyte's chest looking up rising up on slender legs tongue slipping along her lips "We can show you the lies We can carve your head open and tell you the lies about Ring you've ben told Lies Ring Lies Circle Orouboros-buggering-herself Lies."
"Never mind. Never mind," says Frost, turning around with a sigh. "You can't help me. I don't think you ever could."
ibael's head tilts. "We could. We would. But we need orders."
Frostbyte turns to look to ibael. "Tell me how to make Ring."
"Tell me what to do to heal me before the flesh rots from my bones and all that's left of me is cold diamond."
ibael laughs. "Lies lies!" She grins. "No Ring."
"It's all in the mind," she purrs, her hand stroking the hedgehog's head. Quills fall like hail.
Frostbyte says, "...What. That Ring is a lie?"
ibael says, "If thou trust mad lies - and has not sense failed? Blood vein mingle rush and This lie will be taken."
Frostbyte's skin is drawn over his skull like paper. Was it like that before? How did this all happen so fast? "Then why am I dying?"
Frostbyte says, "Why am I falling apart?"
Sumire says, "Maybe that's what you want."
Orange stalks over to Frostbyte and watches him silently. "Because it's what you want," he whispers. "It's what all of you want."
ibael says, "Time-bind accelerated unheal deconstruct burble bicker babble banter. Cut down and shut down, reel it in, battlething no cleanup no remains."
ibael flicks Frostbyte's decrepid forehead with her finger. "Fool. Lies."
ibael's lower hands casually twist each other one removing the other holding hiding Giggling.
Frostbyte blinks. "Of course," he whispers harshly, turning around. "I'm damaged goods. I'm long since past my warranty, I'm like a smartmine, they always thought I'd be dangerous to everyone around me," he whispers, staring in to his hands, fingernails drop off like lint, flesh peeling from the bones. "I'm self destructing."
Frostbyte's face twists in rage so violently one of his tendons tears from his jawbone and half his face goes limp. "They're murdering me!"
"They?" Sumire shakes his head, sadly. "You. There is no they but you."
Frostbyte blinks and turns to Sumire. "What?"
Orange continues to examine Frostbyte carefully, tilting his head gently from one side to the other. He takes a deep inward breath and closes his eyes raputrously, then opens them again. He lashes forward with a claw, aimed at the center of Frostbyte's chest, smirking slightly as he hears Sumire's comment.
ibael skitters quick and rapid a blur a rush a Spider-on-attack Hand raised plucks out eye Nerves dragged and split Naked wrist Up and in Ball-joint in the socket [ and the Connexion made. ]
ibael says, "Whimper whine Whimper whine I know I know It's so nice It gets you loved Gets you fixed Does it Does it?"
( and inside mad redcode attack swirling silver hissing pinks A fierce tide washing over the reef of hedgepig mind Whoosh. Whoosh. Crash. )
Sumire's lips frame a thin, melancholy smile. "You're they. It's all in your mind. All in your destiny, your choices, your self. You want to live? Live."
Frostbyte coughs violently, suddenly trapped in the center of attention, cut slashed maimed torn, eye wide and unseeing, knees buckling, dropping down and staring up at the hand of Ibael like he just found religion.
Orange grabs hold of a peice of the unresisting Frostbyte and tears it free. "I'm Them. I'm here." He tosses the peice away. "Anything you'd like to say, while you can?"
Frostbyte foams at the mouth, spit or blood or both.
ibael grins. [ little tendrils of nastiness slither through frost's mind like like like black worms lingering devouring kissing shitting-out sucking and some new belief some new lies ( a delighted innocent giggle ) Unveiling's veil unveiled torn asunder. ]
Sumire says, "Now you're bordering on overwrought. You have only to decide, you know."
Orange sneers at Frostbyte. "Typical." He reaches forward and takes ahold of Frostbyte's leg. "This is the part where I'm supposed to call you a worthless peice of shit, isn't it." He shrugs, then tears the leg off.
[ Ring rung twisted turned. Belief unraveled belief stitched. She makes him lie to himself as easily as she lies to Herself. Ring? But a delusion. So she claims. ]
ibael wrenches her wrist-socket from Frost's eyesocket and lets his eye snap back into something like place. She licks her joint, laughing. "Lies."
Frostbyte's flesh is torn free easy, but the bone, not so much. Flesh sloughs off to reveal a crystal-wrapped femur. Suddenly Frost reaches up and tears that hand from his eye, roaring in sudden spite. >.<
Frostbyte's flesh starts to knit. "Get off me!"
ibael sits back, putting her hand back on. "Yes, master," she purrs, above a reassuring buzz.
Orange looks at ibael. "Yeah, what's the deal with that, anyway?" He reaches down and strips the flesh from Frostbyte's other leg, not really paying attention.
ibael smiles at Orange. "I am lies the mother of lies the daughter of lies am lies."
Orange shakes his head at ibael. "I don't think you are. If you did, I'd recognize you. I'm thinking cousin."
Sumire says, "You should be truth, then. That's the best lie."
Frostbyte looks up to Orange and narrows his eyes. "I thought you were _dead_ you motherfucker."
ibael tilts her head. "Oh, there are other timebombs in thee."
ibael licks her lips. "I only removed the one called Ring."
ibael says, "Jingle jangle clingle clangle, ring."
Frostbyte grabs Orange as he moves to strip his leg.
Orange grins at Frostbyte. "Oh please. System might well have run around gloating for a while, but the fact is, I wandered off. He was boring after a while." He looks down as his claw is grabbed. "Changed your mind, have you?"
Frostbyte instantiates a very generic looking weapon and points it at Orange. "Let go of me. I've had enough of... of this for one night."
Frostbyte struggles to his feet, sucking in great draughts of raw stuff with which to rebuild himself. "Now... I'm going to bed."
Frostbyte says, "ibael..."
ibael smiles. "yes, sir?"
Frostbyte says, "...thanks."
ibael bows. "thou art welcome."
ibael says, "lies."
Frostbyte goes away, to bed, alone for once.
Part of this, of course, is a mirror of the past few months of my life. "Later on, Vulture Mother turned me into a spider". A romantic entanglement with the mind behind Theeka. A lot of experimentation with submissive states of mind, most of which have ended in frustration.
She's still coming from somewhere deep in the back of my brain. She's still ready to hurt anyone. But she keeps saying she can't hurt herself any more. I'm still worried to have her in my head, to be honest. She still scares me. And I'm still worried that she's all I've been able to play on Puzzlebox lately.
Even when she's... nice and helpful, in her own cryptic way...
Frostbyte has a Problem: his creators built in a need for a chemical only they could provide. It's known as "Ring". Ibael decided to confuse the issue...
Frostbyte says, "Argh!"
Sumire says, "Well. He's awake."
Frostbyte says, "No I'm not."
Blue says, "Are too"
ibael pokes Frostbyte. "We know a cuuuuuuurrrre. Ring ring a dinga ding..."
Frostbyte looks to ibael. "And what do you have to say for yourself?"
ibael grins. "Turning shining gleaming rings. Suck and lick and gleam and clang."
Rinzen chuckles, wrapping his arms around Blue's waist, then all seven tails curl around her, mummifying her from shoulders to ankles. "Mmmmmmm ..." he coos, nuzzling at affectionate pretty hair. "Thank you."
Frostbyte raises an eyebrow. "I like the sound of that."
Sumire takes a step or two toward Frostbyte, since his previous conversational partners seem to have gotten wrapped up. "What's this about a cure?"
ibael smiles. "Extraction screaming, pain unending. Decay, decay, decay And Through!"
Frostbyte says, "Well you killed that fantasy in a hurry!"
ibael sucks on one of her fingers smiles "the skills we have are whole!" A laugh. "Weeeee know the shaaaape of Ring."
Frostbyte raises an eyebrow. "Now you have my attention again..."
Coalesce eyes the spider. "Lies again, eh?"
Frostbyte says, "Tell me what you know of Ring, Ibael."
ibael tosses her hair "You little addict Deathbringer Ringslave Wraith-dog-on-leash. Broken leash. Ring."
"Spider knows the scent of Ring Virus knows Virus remembers Virus forgets forgets hides slides hides."
Frostbyte narrows his eyes to ibael. "I may be all of those things, spider doll, but I have no need to sit here and be mocked. If you are a doll at all, if you were ever Theeka, tell me what you know of Ring."
ibael licks her lips. taps her pretty plastic skull. "Program."
ibael says, "Lies."
Frostbyte pats Ibael on the shoulder. "What are you saying?" Contrast goes up. A vague black/white cast falls over the pair. Suddenly they are the center of attention, a sharp harsh light pouring on them from somewhere.
ibael folds her arms around herself eyes and body-carvings a gleaming green sharp in the chiaroscuro "I punched him in the face And then I punched him again And again And again And there was only Pudding and Gravel and I punched again and I ground the Gravel into my Fist smearing it with- Lies." She laughs. "Lies lies." She taps Frostbyte's head. "Lies."
Frostbyte's fist clenches. "Even now, even rotting, with the teeth falling from my jaw and the quills from my back, with my fingernails loose, I could destroy you," he hisses, eyes burning in to ibael. But he doesn't. He wilts and looks away. "I'm afraid to change," he whispers. "I don't know what I'll be, afterwards."
Sumire rests a hand tentatively on Frostbyte's shoulder. "No need to fear change," he says, surprisingly gentle compared to his usual wry tone. "Better to fear stagnation."
ibael stands in silhouette arms spread wide Defenseless. "Oh, you could kill me Could you destroy me Destroy this toy Destroy every toy Destroy the tides I sing?" She doesn't wait. She grabs Frostbyte's skull in an iron grip. "Thou shalt be free," she breathes.
ibael lifts a decaying hand tenderly smiles plucks out fingernails one. by. one. "Lies."
Frostbyte clenches his hand in to a fist to hide his delicates, raising it in threat. "I am free," he lies, fist casting shadows over his eyes.
Frostbyte says, "...Does anything make you sad, ibael?"
Frostbyte lowers his fist, the light taking on a blue cast, making his fur seem bone-white and dead.
ibael smiles. "No."
Frostbyte says, "No wonder you look so empty."
ibael smiles. "We are tired of sad. Inhatti was sad. Sosael was sad. We alternate Sad and Not-Sad."
ibael runs hands up Frostbyte's chest looking up rising up on slender legs tongue slipping along her lips "We can show you the lies We can carve your head open and tell you the lies about Ring you've ben told Lies Ring Lies Circle Orouboros-buggering-herself Lies."
"Never mind. Never mind," says Frost, turning around with a sigh. "You can't help me. I don't think you ever could."
ibael's head tilts. "We could. We would. But we need orders."
Frostbyte turns to look to ibael. "Tell me how to make Ring."
"Tell me what to do to heal me before the flesh rots from my bones and all that's left of me is cold diamond."
ibael laughs. "Lies lies!" She grins. "No Ring."
"It's all in the mind," she purrs, her hand stroking the hedgehog's head. Quills fall like hail.
Frostbyte says, "...What. That Ring is a lie?"
ibael says, "If thou trust mad lies - and has not sense failed? Blood vein mingle rush and This lie will be taken."
Frostbyte's skin is drawn over his skull like paper. Was it like that before? How did this all happen so fast? "Then why am I dying?"
Frostbyte says, "Why am I falling apart?"
Sumire says, "Maybe that's what you want."
Orange stalks over to Frostbyte and watches him silently. "Because it's what you want," he whispers. "It's what all of you want."
ibael says, "Time-bind accelerated unheal deconstruct burble bicker babble banter. Cut down and shut down, reel it in, battlething no cleanup no remains."
ibael flicks Frostbyte's decrepid forehead with her finger. "Fool. Lies."
ibael's lower hands casually twist each other one removing the other holding hiding Giggling.
Frostbyte blinks. "Of course," he whispers harshly, turning around. "I'm damaged goods. I'm long since past my warranty, I'm like a smartmine, they always thought I'd be dangerous to everyone around me," he whispers, staring in to his hands, fingernails drop off like lint, flesh peeling from the bones. "I'm self destructing."
Frostbyte's face twists in rage so violently one of his tendons tears from his jawbone and half his face goes limp. "They're murdering me!"
"They?" Sumire shakes his head, sadly. "You. There is no they but you."
Frostbyte blinks and turns to Sumire. "What?"
Orange continues to examine Frostbyte carefully, tilting his head gently from one side to the other. He takes a deep inward breath and closes his eyes raputrously, then opens them again. He lashes forward with a claw, aimed at the center of Frostbyte's chest, smirking slightly as he hears Sumire's comment.
ibael skitters quick and rapid a blur a rush a Spider-on-attack Hand raised plucks out eye Nerves dragged and split Naked wrist Up and in Ball-joint in the socket [ and the Connexion made. ]
ibael says, "Whimper whine Whimper whine I know I know It's so nice It gets you loved Gets you fixed Does it Does it?"
( and inside mad redcode attack swirling silver hissing pinks A fierce tide washing over the reef of hedgepig mind Whoosh. Whoosh. Crash. )
Sumire's lips frame a thin, melancholy smile. "You're they. It's all in your mind. All in your destiny, your choices, your self. You want to live? Live."
Frostbyte coughs violently, suddenly trapped in the center of attention, cut slashed maimed torn, eye wide and unseeing, knees buckling, dropping down and staring up at the hand of Ibael like he just found religion.
Orange grabs hold of a peice of the unresisting Frostbyte and tears it free. "I'm Them. I'm here." He tosses the peice away. "Anything you'd like to say, while you can?"
Frostbyte foams at the mouth, spit or blood or both.
ibael grins. [ little tendrils of nastiness slither through frost's mind like like like black worms lingering devouring kissing shitting-out sucking and some new belief some new lies ( a delighted innocent giggle ) Unveiling's veil unveiled torn asunder. ]
Sumire says, "Now you're bordering on overwrought. You have only to decide, you know."
Orange sneers at Frostbyte. "Typical." He reaches forward and takes ahold of Frostbyte's leg. "This is the part where I'm supposed to call you a worthless peice of shit, isn't it." He shrugs, then tears the leg off.
[ Ring rung twisted turned. Belief unraveled belief stitched. She makes him lie to himself as easily as she lies to Herself. Ring? But a delusion. So she claims. ]
ibael wrenches her wrist-socket from Frost's eyesocket and lets his eye snap back into something like place. She licks her joint, laughing. "Lies."
Frostbyte's flesh is torn free easy, but the bone, not so much. Flesh sloughs off to reveal a crystal-wrapped femur. Suddenly Frost reaches up and tears that hand from his eye, roaring in sudden spite. >.<
Frostbyte's flesh starts to knit. "Get off me!"
ibael sits back, putting her hand back on. "Yes, master," she purrs, above a reassuring buzz.
Orange looks at ibael. "Yeah, what's the deal with that, anyway?" He reaches down and strips the flesh from Frostbyte's other leg, not really paying attention.
ibael smiles at Orange. "I am lies the mother of lies the daughter of lies am lies."
Orange shakes his head at ibael. "I don't think you are. If you did, I'd recognize you. I'm thinking cousin."
Sumire says, "You should be truth, then. That's the best lie."
Frostbyte looks up to Orange and narrows his eyes. "I thought you were _dead_ you motherfucker."
ibael tilts her head. "Oh, there are other timebombs in thee."
ibael licks her lips. "I only removed the one called Ring."
ibael says, "Jingle jangle clingle clangle, ring."
Frostbyte grabs Orange as he moves to strip his leg.
Orange grins at Frostbyte. "Oh please. System might well have run around gloating for a while, but the fact is, I wandered off. He was boring after a while." He looks down as his claw is grabbed. "Changed your mind, have you?"
Frostbyte instantiates a very generic looking weapon and points it at Orange. "Let go of me. I've had enough of... of this for one night."
Frostbyte struggles to his feet, sucking in great draughts of raw stuff with which to rebuild himself. "Now... I'm going to bed."
Frostbyte says, "ibael..."
ibael smiles. "yes, sir?"
Frostbyte says, "...thanks."
ibael bows. "thou art welcome."
ibael says, "lies."
Frostbyte goes away, to bed, alone for once.