FF: "Something Special"; Will/Rachel, PG
Title: Something Special
Author: baronessabba
Pairing,Character(s): Will/Rachel
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1.451
Spoilers: Funk, Ballad
Summary: “Rachel can I see you in my office.” What if that talk had gone slightly different?
Notes: I just wrote this one night when I couldn’t sleep. Hopefully, it’s readable. I still might work on my other story “5 Minutes”, but I’ve been reading pretty much anything that is Will/Rachel on the net, and all this talent threw me off my own wagon. This truly is a one-shot. Please tell me what you think.
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing.
**
„Rachel, can I see you in my office. “
It wasn’t a question, but an order and so she followed him, but almost reluctantly. Her body seemed limp, somehow. As if she was working on autopilot. Gone was the ever noticeable self-awareness, which had left along with Jesse. Will had watched this whole thing carefully, tried to gauge what Rachel was all about. And why it bothered her so much. He had thought she’d be sad for a short period of time, but it was like she’d lost her spirit. Like she’d lost so much more than Jesse, who’d only been in her life for such a short time. He considered it part of his business now. After all, Rachel was his student and his glee club captain. Will needed her to be ok. But for so many more reasons. Only that he didn’t admit that to himself.
He closed the door silently behind him. Rachel sat apathetically in the chair. She looked completely lost and that pained Will.
“You seem to be taking this Jesse thing pretty hard.” She came alive when Will mentioned the boy’s name.
“I want him to be eaten by a lion.”
“Jesse cared about you.”
“No, he didn’t. Our entire relationship was just some diabolical plan. They knew if they broke my heart close enough to the competition that I’d lose my will to live and that New Directions would have no chance at winning Regionals. It’s textbook. You destroy the heart of the team’s heart, and you destroy the team.”
Will was glad that she still cared about something. It sounded like her again, not this indifferent, heartbroken girl. To a certain point she was right, too. Without her, the club was losing something essential. But he doubted that Jesse had masterminded such a plan. Considering this possibility and realizing that Shelby must have been in on this, sickened Will.
“But… you hardly knew Jesse.” Will said carefully, ignoring the detour of his mind. This was about Rachel and her feelings - for Jesse. He didn’t need to put any more ideas into her head. Also, he realized this was probably more of a talk that she should have had with Emma. He wasn’t a counselor and he was hardly equipped for boy trouble. But to his surprise, Rachel didn’t say anything else anymore. Silence. Muted, she sat in front of him, an expression he’d never seen before plastered on her face. Will couldn’t judge it at all. The fact that she didn’t voice her feelings worried, no, scared him. She never kept quiet like that, staring wistfully. Will felt it draw him in, shaking and humbling him.
“It’s your fault.” Rachel eventually said, leaving Will lost for words and for thoughts. He stared at her, blinking once, twice, not able to say anything. Why would she blame him? But she didn’t elaborate. She lowered her head in either shame, or hurt. He was transported back to another day, to another situation with her. Not that long ago. When she’d turned away from him not able to deal with her own emotions and ashamed to show them to anyone else. Her vulnerability and her failure in judgment.
“Rachel, how, why…” Will realized that he wasn’t helping the situation with his inability to speak. He felt as lost as she looked. He should have sent her to Emma after all. But like always, it seemed, Rachel was willing to help him.
“You said there’d be a boy. A boy who would like everything about me, even the things that I didn’t like. Like Jesse, because he did. It seemed like he did.” She said. Her voice full of tears and with a childish quality, she threw those words back at him. The same day he’d so fleetingly thought about only seconds ago. So he remembered, of course. How could he ever forget that day… him rejecting her. It suddenly hit him that Rachel had seen all of this and more in Jesse. She had listened to Will that day and then opened her heart for this boy who’d manipulated her so well. The pain that hit him was like a brick against his heart, and his head. Somehow, somewhere deep inside of him was a feeling of pride that she’d listened to him, taken his advice. That she’d thought about something he’d told her. But the result was shattering.
“God, Rachel, I’m so sorry.” Empty phrases, because he couldn’t think of anything else and he meant it. He was sorry. There were just no words for it.
“There isn’t anyone who can see past my faults!” she sobbed, still turned away from him. Will stared at her unsure what to do. His impulse was to take her into his arms, but it seemed inappropriate. He always felt like he had to keep a greater distance to Rachel than any other student, because it was her. There was just something… he didn’t like to think about. But this vulnerability in her, even if she hated it, made it almost impossible not to hug her.
“Not that I have that many faults.” She added quietly, more confident, but still not lifting her head.
“No, Rachel, you don’t. Don’t see any part of yourself as faulty, or wrong. There still is that boy who will love everything about you. Believe me.” Will’s cheeks were flushed as he finished. He’d said too much of what he was truly feeling. Somehow he’d inched closer to her, and finally, she was looking up at him again. With tear-filled eyes, but less broken than before.
“Don’t tell anyone this happened…please.” Rachel said quietly. He’d never considered her asking something like that. Again, he thought of Emma, who might have been better in this conversation. This was not what Will had imagined when he’d asked Rachel into his office. Then again, what had he expected? Nothing had happened, he reminded himself, but he felt different. Maybe Rachel did, too. She looked better and maybe that was all that counted anyway.
“I won’t.” He thought of Shelby suddenly, who might have been a help. But she wasn’t her mom, and they still hadn’t found a way to be friends. If Shelby had been in on this whole Jesse thing, Will doubted that they ever could be anything more than acquaintances. A mother just wasn’t allowed to deliberately hurt her daughter like that. ‘Rachel’s special’, his own voice rang in his ears. She was. Sitting there before him, teary eyes asking for nothing more than his silence, there was no better way to describe her in this very second, any second. Shelby, and not even Emma, deserved to help her right now. It was Will’s job, at least for the moment. Rachel was special. She was special to him
“I promise.” The way he said it was what caused the difference. He could feel it in the way the air changed to something warmer around him. He could see it in the way her eyes softened, changed and wondered. It latched somewhere in his throat, because it tickled. A feeling like he’d swallowed dust, but forgot to feel like coughing. The meaning of his promise was everything and it flew through the air, right before their eyes. All they had to do was reach out and take it, look at it, try it. It hadn’t been there before, not like that. Like a butterfly suddenly developing out of a caterpillar hidden underneath the undergrowth, unseen by the world.
“Thanks, Mr.Schue.” Rachel leaned over and just took it; this thing that was flowing between them. Without permission or warning, caution or fear, she leaned over quickly, filling the air around him with her perfume and kissed his cheek. He thought how it felt warm and sloppy against his cheek, while she thought how it felt strong and stubbly against her lips. Rachel smiled up at him. At first unsure, unsecure, but then her face lit up brightly, like a star. She left his office without another word, or gesture. She just left. Will looked after her, acknowledging the change, albeit not yet accepting it. He’d promised her something, he realized that. Nothing would change, for now. No drastic, rash decisions or actions. Over time, though, it would. Maybe he’d known it before. That faithful day when he’d rejected her. When he’d told her there was someone who could see past all of her faults, knowing who that person really was. Somehow it troubled him still. There were so many obstacles - obvious and then not yet visible. But he could still grab it, right there in this office. This promise, this future. Something had begun today. Something special.