I only go to crap.
I’ve been to some crap recently, I’m not complaining, it was free thanks to my good pal Andrew Griswold, but seriously I can’t even begin to work out what was worse, was it Stiff Little Fingers lacklustre 30th anniversary gig or Bruce Foxtons Foxton featuring Butler, better known as ‘From The Jam’?
‘From the Jam’ is a Jam tribute band that features two thirds original Jam members and neither of them is Paul Weller. They played the Spring and Airbrake recently and I went. The crowd contained 299 1977 punks plus Paul Brannagh, it was rather amusing to see that many fat old punkers in Ben Sherman and Fred Perry shirts squeezed into one building, it was even more funny watching them squeeze through the crowd with 6 pints in each hand, quite a lot of beer was spilt that night as the heaving masses where kept in a constant rotation thanks to the no smoking inside rule, half of the masses used the substandard album filler tracks (of which many where played) to go outside and smoke while the other half used this material to go to the bar.
The appalling service you get in Spring and Airbrake means I generally don’t drink at these gigs. I normally find that the barstaff are busy talking to each other, serving their mates or very slowly putting bottles in the fridge. Also getting a space at the bar to get served can be tricky, I will never understand for the life of me why people stand at the bars in nightclubs to chat. THE PLACE IS FUCKING PACKED, GET YOUR DRINK AND MOVE OUT OF THE WAY ASSHOLE. I did however have to get a drink at this gig, not because I wanted to but because I had cycled to the show was drenched in sweat. Anyway, that took about 30 minutes and a warm pint of Bud in a plastic glass really didn’t make me feel any refreshed, oh well could have been worse, it could have been Harp.
The Stiff Little Fingers show was months ago, it was rubbish. Jake Burns, legend that he is, is old, tired and fat. I admire him for he does, I wish I was playing a sold out Ulster Hall instead of being old, tired, fat and working in a bank plus a supermar…. Yes, you know the routine by now. Its funny how Jake Burns dresses in ridiculous get up, as if the Stiff Little Fingers football shirts where not bad enough they know have Stiff Little Fingers baseball jackets, and Burns appeared to wear his, zipped all the way up to the top, all the way through the show. Still, thank fuck Foxtons not in the band anymore he would have his tucked into his shorts. Loose Rauiri and Jar who where also offered guesties left after about three songs, I like SLF, but could sense that this gig was not going to be anything special, so I watched about 5 songs of Stiff Little Fingers and thought, ‘fuck I can’t be bothered with this, if I hurry home I can catch the 2 Pints of Larger and a Packet of Crisps double bill on BBC3’ - and I did. I nearly didn’t though because Angry Phil was loitering outside demanding people to hand out flyers with. That’s grub work.
So what was worse?
I’ll tell you first what wasn’t worse, MEATLOAF! Again, our Andrew and the Newsletter tab got me a ticket for that £55 worth of ticket at that. I have never The Loaf before, but I tell you, if I had of paid £55 for that ticket I would say it was worth every penny. What a show! Pyros, explosions, sexy dancing girls, ex Anthrax guitarists, spides getting hoofed out, everything you could have wanted. Again I had to go straight from work and the security guard searched my bag on the way in, asked me if I had any cameras on me, made me open my empty flask of tea, yes I take a flask to work, what of it? If you had a canteen and vending machines like ours you would too. Where was I? Oh yea, he opened my flask and sniffed it (he’ll do that again) and then let me in. Inside another security guard came up to me and said I couldn’t take my camera in, time for bag search and flask sniff number 2. The security staff where very fussy about my poor attempt at camera smuggling, then you get into the hall, the lights go down and 2,000 digital cameras appear! What is the point!!!
Its close, but I think ‘From the Jam’, simply because it was £18.50 a ticket for what is essentially a tribute act and I hate that shite.
Right when is this Marky Ramones Misfits featuring Dez gig?