Fic : That Terrible Funny Thing That Happened That One Time
Badly written fic I did for the glee_fluff_meme based on this prompt.
Title: That Terrible Funny Thing That Happened That One Time
Characters/Pairings: Gen
Rating: PG-13 I guess
Summary: "The cast(Lea, Dianna, Cory, Mark, Jenna, Kevin, Naya, Heather, so on and so forth) watch the Glee porn parody; hilarity ensues. No actual sex need take place (but if ya wanna throw it in...I ain't stopping ya)"
Crawls out of her cave to tell you (anyone reading this. Also known as no one) that this is her first time writing Glee, so please be kind!
--
Tuesday nights were Glee! nights, which subsequently always involved massive amounts of popcorn, big blankets with hipster wildlife preservation wolves and owls and Cory hogging most of the couch space resulting in more than one cast member sitting on the floor. Chris found himself snuggled in between Heather and Naya, sitting miraculously on the soft upholstered furniture only by seer power of their combined glares, which were still only enough to get them a cushion and a half. But in retrospect compared to sitting on the chilly floor, Chris would take his third of a cushion and a half any day.
"Where's the remote?" piped Mark from under the dog pile of the remaining cast members nestled at the foot of the couch. Locating the correct remote proved harder than originally planned mainly because of the numerous remotes that turned on everything but the tv ( "No! That's the remote for the DVD player.") and because no one wanted to extract themselves from their respected piles to actually look for the controller . Eventually the remote was unearthed from under Kevin's left butt cheek and Glee! night officially commenced.
--
Cory stretch happily from his perch on the couch, content to try and steal just a little more cushion room by not-so-subtly subtly nudging Naya over with his toes. So distracted was he with pulling his feet back to safety before her manicured claws could amputate one of his piglets that he didn't at first understand the tense atmosphere that had quelled the usual chitchat of his fellow cast mates. Or at least he didn't until he glance back at the screen and saw Not!Lea Rachel giving Not!Kevin Artie a BJ. Cory felt his jaw drop and his eyes bulge, a flush rushing from the top of his ears and spreading down his chest, when Not!Him Finn joined in the fun and. Ew. Not!Him Finn was like ten years older than Not!Lea Rachel and Not!Kevin Artie, who both look like they were barely old enough to be watching porn let alone starring in one.
While the length of Not!Lea's skirt was actually pretty accurate Cory was positive that Rachel had never worn such a tiny v-neck sweater, over her magically larger breasts, and he hadn't even been aware that they grew porn stars to that height as he watched Not!Him lift Not!Kevin up to place him on his (not his!)lap and fondle his. NO. Squeezing his eyes shut, Cory didn't look back to the screen until he heard Dianna let out a high pitched squeak and saw Not!Jenna Tina with a strap on making out with a Not!Dianna Quinn ... er, planted on her lap. The rest of the Jocks and Cheerios began to filter in by then and Cory had lost track of who engaged with who (though for a disturbing moment he thought he caught sight of Not!Him Finn being bent over by Not!Mark Puck).
Cory watched muted as Not!Naya Santana and Not!Heather Brittany started to display way more of their alluded lesbian relationship than was ever printed in their scripts. The whole cast stared glassily as the orgy started vocalizing in harmony, until Not!Matthew Will lead in a doe eyed Not!Chris Kurt by his tie and...
"Oh Hell No!"
Suddenly there was a frantic scrabble for the remote, as Real!Naya and Real!Heather tackled Real!Chris and covered his eyes and ears. Grabbing remotes at random Cory button mashed like he was playing Super Mario Bros. becoming more and more crazed when all he managed to do was raise the volume as Not!Matthew Will reached into Not!Chris Kurt's pants and offered to help him hit that high F (Cory may have to punch Matthew later just for the principle of it). Finally someone hit something that while not shutting the tv off, did make the screen go mercifully blank.
The DVD player whirled as it opened and revealed a disc labeled "Glee: opening yourself to joy", with a crude L shaped dildo where the loser hand sign usually resided.
--
Just remember this is unbeta-ed and a first attempt.
Crawls back into the cave she came out of.
Also the DVD was secretly planted by one Sue Sylvester, not Jane Lynch but Sue, she's taking Glee Club down from the inside. Her will knows no boundaries.
Title: That Terrible Funny Thing That Happened That One Time
Characters/Pairings: Gen
Rating: PG-13 I guess
Summary: "The cast(Lea, Dianna, Cory, Mark, Jenna, Kevin, Naya, Heather, so on and so forth) watch the Glee porn parody; hilarity ensues. No actual sex need take place (but if ya wanna throw it in...I ain't stopping ya)"
Crawls out of her cave to tell you (anyone reading this. Also known as no one) that this is her first time writing Glee, so please be kind!
--
Tuesday nights were Glee! nights, which subsequently always involved massive amounts of popcorn, big blankets with hipster wildlife preservation wolves and owls and Cory hogging most of the couch space resulting in more than one cast member sitting on the floor. Chris found himself snuggled in between Heather and Naya, sitting miraculously on the soft upholstered furniture only by seer power of their combined glares, which were still only enough to get them a cushion and a half. But in retrospect compared to sitting on the chilly floor, Chris would take his third of a cushion and a half any day.
"Where's the remote?" piped Mark from under the dog pile of the remaining cast members nestled at the foot of the couch. Locating the correct remote proved harder than originally planned mainly because of the numerous remotes that turned on everything but the tv ( "No! That's the remote for the DVD player.") and because no one wanted to extract themselves from their respected piles to actually look for the controller . Eventually the remote was unearthed from under Kevin's left butt cheek and Glee! night officially commenced.
--
Cory stretch happily from his perch on the couch, content to try and steal just a little more cushion room by not-so-subtly subtly nudging Naya over with his toes. So distracted was he with pulling his feet back to safety before her manicured claws could amputate one of his piglets that he didn't at first understand the tense atmosphere that had quelled the usual chitchat of his fellow cast mates. Or at least he didn't until he glance back at the screen and saw Not!Lea Rachel giving Not!Kevin Artie a BJ. Cory felt his jaw drop and his eyes bulge, a flush rushing from the top of his ears and spreading down his chest, when Not!Him Finn joined in the fun and. Ew. Not!Him Finn was like ten years older than Not!Lea Rachel and Not!Kevin Artie, who both look like they were barely old enough to be watching porn let alone starring in one.
While the length of Not!Lea's skirt was actually pretty accurate Cory was positive that Rachel had never worn such a tiny v-neck sweater, over her magically larger breasts, and he hadn't even been aware that they grew porn stars to that height as he watched Not!Him lift Not!Kevin up to place him on his (not his!)lap and fondle his. NO. Squeezing his eyes shut, Cory didn't look back to the screen until he heard Dianna let out a high pitched squeak and saw Not!Jenna Tina with a strap on making out with a Not!Dianna Quinn ... er, planted on her lap. The rest of the Jocks and Cheerios began to filter in by then and Cory had lost track of who engaged with who (though for a disturbing moment he thought he caught sight of Not!Him Finn being bent over by Not!Mark Puck).
Cory watched muted as Not!Naya Santana and Not!Heather Brittany started to display way more of their alluded lesbian relationship than was ever printed in their scripts. The whole cast stared glassily as the orgy started vocalizing in harmony, until Not!Matthew Will lead in a doe eyed Not!Chris Kurt by his tie and...
"Oh Hell No!"
Suddenly there was a frantic scrabble for the remote, as Real!Naya and Real!Heather tackled Real!Chris and covered his eyes and ears. Grabbing remotes at random Cory button mashed like he was playing Super Mario Bros. becoming more and more crazed when all he managed to do was raise the volume as Not!Matthew Will reached into Not!Chris Kurt's pants and offered to help him hit that high F (Cory may have to punch Matthew later just for the principle of it). Finally someone hit something that while not shutting the tv off, did make the screen go mercifully blank.
The DVD player whirled as it opened and revealed a disc labeled "Glee: opening yourself to joy", with a crude L shaped dildo where the loser hand sign usually resided.
--
Just remember this is unbeta-ed and a first attempt.
Crawls back into the cave she came out of.
Also the DVD was secretly planted by one Sue Sylvester, not Jane Lynch but Sue, she's taking Glee Club down from the inside. Her will knows no boundaries.