Midnight smoke
A little drabble I did for 6.24's Challenge Accepted. Not beta'd. Feel free to (please) post how you feel about this, good or bad I appreciate all feedback (:
It's a hot night in late summer. She's tossing and turning until she gives up on trying to sleep. She throws the covers off of her, gets up out of bed and heads towards the roof, snatching her carton of cigarettes and a lighter from her drawer in the process. A typical late summer night you might think, except it's not. It's not because everything is changing.
Standing on the roof, looking over the Manhattan skyline , she lights up a cigarette. She takes a drag and feels the weirdly comfortable burning sensation in her lungs. Inhale, hold, exhale. She breathes out the smoke in the humid air.
'It's never too late Barney'. The words ring in her ears, like a broken record playing over and over again.
Inhale , hold , exhale.
Tonight it fully hit her, and it feels like a slap in the face. Nora gave Barney a second chance and this time it's actually going to happen.
He wants this. He's trying. She's not sure what hurts more.
Inhale, hold, exhale.
It's just always been this way. Marshall and Lily , their lives figured out, preparing to start a family. Ted, the hopeless romantic, on his search for the one.
And Barney and Robin calling the other three out on their lame-ness for being gooey and romantic. They smoked cigars, drank scotch and bro'ed out together. Even when she was dating Ted.
Inhale, hold , exhale.
They were Barney and Robin. Apart yet together in some way. They just got eachother. Probably cause they were on a level of awesome the others just couldn't reach, or so Barney would say. There was always a spark between them, a hint of flirtation in almost every conversation they had. Then they became Barney-and-Robin in a 'relationship'. By the end of their 'relationship' they both knew they were making each other miserable. The pressure of being a couple suffocated them. They choose the easy way out and quit.
Inhale, hold, exhale.
But even when they were no longer Barney-and-Robin , they still were Barney and Robin. Sure it was awkward at first, but it wasn't long before they were broing out again. The flirtation returned too. Along with a whole bunch of confusing feelings. Feelings she'd rather not have. Feelings that were stronger than they were before. Stupid feelings.
Inhale, hold, exhale.
Truth is they were closer now than ever before. They were more mature too. Barney and Robin on the brink of becoming Barney-and-Robin again. It terrified her. Because she doesn't want Barney-and-Robin (she tries to tell herself). Because their friendship just barely made it through the first break-up and isn't going to make it through a second one.
Inhale, hold, exhale.
It terrifies her so she pushes Barney away, away from her and directly to Nora. She should have known she was setting a trap for herself, when she set Barney up with Nora. But only now that it's actually happening, she realises what consequences this will have. No more conversations with hidden meanings in the back of cabs. No more flirtations. No more Barney and Robin, and certainly no chance at all at Barney-and-Robin. No, from now on it will be Barney-and-Nora, because new is always better right? Right.
She takes the last drag of her cigarette before throwing it on the floor and putting it out with her slipper.
The air has cooled down. She shivers as she climbs down the stairs back to the apartment. Maybe it was too late into the summer to wear this nightdress after all.
It's a hot night in late summer. She's tossing and turning until she gives up on trying to sleep. She throws the covers off of her, gets up out of bed and heads towards the roof, snatching her carton of cigarettes and a lighter from her drawer in the process. A typical late summer night you might think, except it's not. It's not because everything is changing.
Standing on the roof, looking over the Manhattan skyline , she lights up a cigarette. She takes a drag and feels the weirdly comfortable burning sensation in her lungs. Inhale, hold, exhale. She breathes out the smoke in the humid air.
'It's never too late Barney'. The words ring in her ears, like a broken record playing over and over again.
Inhale , hold , exhale.
Tonight it fully hit her, and it feels like a slap in the face. Nora gave Barney a second chance and this time it's actually going to happen.
He wants this. He's trying. She's not sure what hurts more.
Inhale, hold, exhale.
It's just always been this way. Marshall and Lily , their lives figured out, preparing to start a family. Ted, the hopeless romantic, on his search for the one.
And Barney and Robin calling the other three out on their lame-ness for being gooey and romantic. They smoked cigars, drank scotch and bro'ed out together. Even when she was dating Ted.
Inhale, hold , exhale.
They were Barney and Robin. Apart yet together in some way. They just got eachother. Probably cause they were on a level of awesome the others just couldn't reach, or so Barney would say. There was always a spark between them, a hint of flirtation in almost every conversation they had. Then they became Barney-and-Robin in a 'relationship'. By the end of their 'relationship' they both knew they were making each other miserable. The pressure of being a couple suffocated them. They choose the easy way out and quit.
Inhale, hold, exhale.
But even when they were no longer Barney-and-Robin , they still were Barney and Robin. Sure it was awkward at first, but it wasn't long before they were broing out again. The flirtation returned too. Along with a whole bunch of confusing feelings. Feelings she'd rather not have. Feelings that were stronger than they were before. Stupid feelings.
Inhale, hold, exhale.
Truth is they were closer now than ever before. They were more mature too. Barney and Robin on the brink of becoming Barney-and-Robin again. It terrified her. Because she doesn't want Barney-and-Robin (she tries to tell herself). Because their friendship just barely made it through the first break-up and isn't going to make it through a second one.
Inhale, hold, exhale.
It terrifies her so she pushes Barney away, away from her and directly to Nora. She should have known she was setting a trap for herself, when she set Barney up with Nora. But only now that it's actually happening, she realises what consequences this will have. No more conversations with hidden meanings in the back of cabs. No more flirtations. No more Barney and Robin, and certainly no chance at all at Barney-and-Robin. No, from now on it will be Barney-and-Nora, because new is always better right? Right.
She takes the last drag of her cigarette before throwing it on the floor and putting it out with her slipper.
The air has cooled down. She shivers as she climbs down the stairs back to the apartment. Maybe it was too late into the summer to wear this nightdress after all.