Re: Glee season finale
Some people, maybe, forget their names and faces and the songs but not me. Yes, it's a little bit foggy but I can still name every face in that photo and nearly every song we played. I remember the smell of stage make up and the bite of frost on my taste smell of Mt. Dew and sweat and bamboo. I remember the odor of cork grease and the must of the risers and halogen of the lighting booth. I remember never really getting used to the spot light the one time I stood alone in it.
Once.
And it was supposed to be the beginning of something great. Getting passed over for Drum Major was supposed to be small potatoes, my concert solo (Mozart Clarinet Concerto in A) was prep for my college repetoire. Madame Thenardier (because I never did learn to sing well) was something to chew on until I could get out and do bigger and better - probably still chorus- roles in college. I was supposed to go back - prodigal - and take over where I left.
Because that was the last place where I was remotely comfortable. Where I fit. Where I could shine a little bit even in mediocrity. Where I could take a little bit of the hubris to grease my way into something a bit bigger.
And I'd like to think that I was good. But really... not so much. Good enough, for the smaller than small time. Good enough for a county, a public school, a bone tossed to have a chance on stage. The talented ones - perfect pitched and multi-instrumented -- I know them. The moved on and Did Things. And they don't look back.
Not much anyway. Not with the gnawing in their gut. Not with the echo of Bflat keening over the auditorium and echoing down the hall of middle life.