Yes, All Barmaids
I've told stories in this space about customers who treated me, or my colleagues behind the bar, poorly or even abusively because we were women. As unfortunately happens to so many women, our male colleagues didn't always have our backs - and plenty of people, including some we considered friends, questioned the veracity of what we'd reported. Even in my job today, as a consultant for bars in and around New York City, I see more often than you'd ever imagine that barmaids are being treated disrespectfully by customers, and male managers don't have their backs. "It's just how men are," they say, or "I'd lose customers."
I'm not aiming to start a debate over whether all men behave that poorly. I know from my own experiences that there are some genuinely good men out there. I'm simply moved to share with you a recent Facebook post by Jordan Gleason, the manager of a bar called Black Acre Brewing Company in Indianapolis, about a customer who got out of hand but then asked to be let back in. I encourage you to read the post...
https://www.facebook.com/jordan.gleason.1/posts/10106173966458658
...and then I encourage you to patronize the establishment if you ever have the opportunity:
Black Acre Brewing Company
The customer tried to make the interesting point that "what he said would have been okay 20 years ago," and although Jordan wrote an incredibly thoughtful and moving post in general, I think he actually missed an important opportunity to address that suggestion in particular. The customer may think what he said would have been okay twenty years ago, but in truth I think that's only because nobody was willing to stand up to it twenty years ago. The women to whom he spoke like that twenty years ago were afraid for their jobs, and their potential male allies were afraid of being labeled as soft, weak, or even "gay" for sticking up for them. It wasn't okay twenty years ago, it was just tacitly accepted. It was tolerated.
What he said was never okay, and the more we're able to understand that as our reality, the less we'll have to deal with "meninists" or frat boys or Gamergaters claiming that it's not fair they should have to keep up with constantly changing rules and shifting expectations. Here's an easy-to-follow guideline for you men who find this difficult: Start treating every woman in your life - not just your mother, sister, coworker, or random stranger on the subway, but also the woman who's serving you drinks, no matter how she likes to dress - just like you would want other men to treat her if she was your mother or your sister. And I can pretty much guarantee you that the rules of that aren't likely to change.
Jordan, I've never been to Indianapolis, but I have friends there and friends who travel there, and I can assure you that I'm going to recommend without reservation that they go spend money in your establishment, because you've demonstrated that you're an ally to be reckoned with. Thank you.
https://www.patreon.com/barmaidblog
I'm not aiming to start a debate over whether all men behave that poorly. I know from my own experiences that there are some genuinely good men out there. I'm simply moved to share with you a recent Facebook post by Jordan Gleason, the manager of a bar called Black Acre Brewing Company in Indianapolis, about a customer who got out of hand but then asked to be let back in. I encourage you to read the post...
https://www.facebook.com/jordan.gleason.1/posts/10106173966458658
...and then I encourage you to patronize the establishment if you ever have the opportunity:
Black Acre Brewing Company
The customer tried to make the interesting point that "what he said would have been okay 20 years ago," and although Jordan wrote an incredibly thoughtful and moving post in general, I think he actually missed an important opportunity to address that suggestion in particular. The customer may think what he said would have been okay twenty years ago, but in truth I think that's only because nobody was willing to stand up to it twenty years ago. The women to whom he spoke like that twenty years ago were afraid for their jobs, and their potential male allies were afraid of being labeled as soft, weak, or even "gay" for sticking up for them. It wasn't okay twenty years ago, it was just tacitly accepted. It was tolerated.
What he said was never okay, and the more we're able to understand that as our reality, the less we'll have to deal with "meninists" or frat boys or Gamergaters claiming that it's not fair they should have to keep up with constantly changing rules and shifting expectations. Here's an easy-to-follow guideline for you men who find this difficult: Start treating every woman in your life - not just your mother, sister, coworker, or random stranger on the subway, but also the woman who's serving you drinks, no matter how she likes to dress - just like you would want other men to treat her if she was your mother or your sister. And I can pretty much guarantee you that the rules of that aren't likely to change.
Jordan, I've never been to Indianapolis, but I have friends there and friends who travel there, and I can assure you that I'm going to recommend without reservation that they go spend money in your establishment, because you've demonstrated that you're an ally to be reckoned with. Thank you.
https://www.patreon.com/barmaidblog