Merry Snugmas to All
What fun I've had this weekend! Saturday night was the big Kris Kringle party combining both the day and evening staff at my church and held at one of their homes. The Kris Kringle thing was where we drew a name and picked one small gift a day for a week, then on Saturday, exchanged a 'big' one 20 bucks or less. Also we tried to guess our Kringle and since I kept getting office supplies and socks I knew it had to be one of the guys. And when I opened the main gift, I knew for sure. But the tragic thing about this gift is I actually know of people who really want one of this things and would really and actually be seen in public in one. These people are in some other universe I'm not a member of and it's likely I couldn't even breathe their atmosphere anyhow, let alone mate with their denizens and produce others of the same mindset. But when I first saw the infomercials, they set off a multiround series of spirited arguments between my daughter and I.
Picture the scene maybe a year ago. The first Snuggie ads begin to run. Like all of America, I watch and digest. So does Beth. I immediately propose that you'd have a cold ass if you stood up in one because it wouldn't wrap around properly. Beth disagreed. She believed the clever camera angles' deceptive version of the truth, which was to make the Snuggie look second in coverage only to an entire mammoth hide (with sleeves!). Also it showed grown men and women walking around in them. I told this much to the gang when I opened my Snuggie Saturday night and everyone demanded that I model it then and now. So I did. And there hung my ass just as I said it would. I felt vindicated. So vindicated I did a little Snuggie ass-dance right there in Richard's boss's front room (his wife works day hours) before all and sundry. I also demonstrated that to attempt to stride across a floor would result in Snuggiecide. Only an individual 9 feet tall can possibly walk around without killing himself on the excess fabric that naturally wants to fold under the feet from the first step. The sleeves are about 5 yards long. I think they used Bumble the Abominable as their dressing dummy. It also slides forward as if it wants to get off and fuck with other Snuggies to create the much anticipated Snuggies for Dogs. I have better results when I put on my bathrobe backwards--better because I can tie it to keep it in place.
So do you still want this thing, folks?
Actually it's not all that bad. I'm looking at it in a new light.
And thinking it'd make one hell of a giant Sham WOW.
Picture the scene maybe a year ago. The first Snuggie ads begin to run. Like all of America, I watch and digest. So does Beth. I immediately propose that you'd have a cold ass if you stood up in one because it wouldn't wrap around properly. Beth disagreed. She believed the clever camera angles' deceptive version of the truth, which was to make the Snuggie look second in coverage only to an entire mammoth hide (with sleeves!). Also it showed grown men and women walking around in them. I told this much to the gang when I opened my Snuggie Saturday night and everyone demanded that I model it then and now. So I did. And there hung my ass just as I said it would. I felt vindicated. So vindicated I did a little Snuggie ass-dance right there in Richard's boss's front room (his wife works day hours) before all and sundry. I also demonstrated that to attempt to stride across a floor would result in Snuggiecide. Only an individual 9 feet tall can possibly walk around without killing himself on the excess fabric that naturally wants to fold under the feet from the first step. The sleeves are about 5 yards long. I think they used Bumble the Abominable as their dressing dummy. It also slides forward as if it wants to get off and fuck with other Snuggies to create the much anticipated Snuggies for Dogs. I have better results when I put on my bathrobe backwards--better because I can tie it to keep it in place.
So do you still want this thing, folks?
Actually it's not all that bad. I'm looking at it in a new light.
And thinking it'd make one hell of a giant Sham WOW.
Click to view