i can't feel you anymore. i just can't feel you.
i wrote this long, verbose post and soon after deleted it, reminding myself it would provide no solace.
do you ever just feel tired of talking? after days or weeks or months of communicating the same points, do you ever just feel the toll of complete and utter physical and emotional exhaustion? the absolute consumption of any strength in trying to get your point across to people who, for whatever reason, fail to see or understand it?
i have a tendency to revisit the past in moments like these, knowing fully well that it will just exacerbate the situation and lead me further astray.
(on a side note, i make terribly cryptic posts.)
i feel lonelier than i've felt in a while. lonely and desperate for something i'm not even quite sure of. a void that not only persists, but deepens.
all i've been thinking about lately is my lack of passion. i recall being fifteen in a fury: the sleepless nights, the hearts racing so fast you felt as if they would collapse; everything being so fresh and new and untainted, this awakening sense of possibility.
now, five years later, i already feel like i lost that. how can i only be twenty-years-old and i have somehow convinced myself to believe that passionate love is neither realistic nor pragmatic? that no relationship can possibly sustain what is delivered at its commencement? whether it be months, maybe years, can most couples still feel that initial spark, that initial heat? or is it inevitably destined to fade into something deeper, at the expense of the fireworks?
i don't even really know what message i am trying to convey here, but it was time for my monthly stream-of-consciousness cryptic nonsense.
do you ever just feel tired of talking? after days or weeks or months of communicating the same points, do you ever just feel the toll of complete and utter physical and emotional exhaustion? the absolute consumption of any strength in trying to get your point across to people who, for whatever reason, fail to see or understand it?
i have a tendency to revisit the past in moments like these, knowing fully well that it will just exacerbate the situation and lead me further astray.
(on a side note, i make terribly cryptic posts.)
i feel lonelier than i've felt in a while. lonely and desperate for something i'm not even quite sure of. a void that not only persists, but deepens.
all i've been thinking about lately is my lack of passion. i recall being fifteen in a fury: the sleepless nights, the hearts racing so fast you felt as if they would collapse; everything being so fresh and new and untainted, this awakening sense of possibility.
now, five years later, i already feel like i lost that. how can i only be twenty-years-old and i have somehow convinced myself to believe that passionate love is neither realistic nor pragmatic? that no relationship can possibly sustain what is delivered at its commencement? whether it be months, maybe years, can most couples still feel that initial spark, that initial heat? or is it inevitably destined to fade into something deeper, at the expense of the fireworks?
i don't even really know what message i am trying to convey here, but it was time for my monthly stream-of-consciousness cryptic nonsense.