I Have a Total Crush On You, Baby

[barker101]

“Spencer!” Ryan screamed through the bathroom wall. “Can you get me some pajamas?”

He heard Spencer grumble something through the wall that sounded a lot like, “not your slave” but Ryan chose to ignore it. Instead focusing on the way the warm water washed over him. His dad had forgotten to pay the water bill. Again. So Ryan came over to use the shower which also served as another excuse to sleep over Spencer’s. No matter what Spencer said Ryan figured that he slept over just as much last year but Spencer claimed that Ryan would use excuses to sleep over at least five times a week last year. Apparently in order to spy on a certain someone whose room is across the hall from Spencer’s.

Ryan sighed and rinsed off the shampoo in his hair. Spencer was crazy. Ryan hadn’t been coming over to see Jon, he’d come over because Spencer’s his best friend. And well, to get away from his dad. Hanging out with Jon was just an added bonus (because Ryan was highly mortified to ever hang out with, or even go up to Jon in school), and not because Jon was hot or anything just because he was cool and he was older. And had great senior year stories that actually made Ryan sort of excited about school, maybe. And sometimes when he told a good story he would do that thing where when he smiled the corner of his lips would crinkle and almost reach his eyes.

And sometimes Jon would make them breakfast in the morning and he wouldn’t wear a shirt. And the muscles in his arms would ripple as he whisked eggs. Which was ridiculous, for Jon to look so hot while he did something like whisking. Before Ryan knew it his hand was around his half-hard cock. He started stroking, just lightly. Appreciating how the heat from the shower and his hand felt around his dick.

After that, he picked up speed focusing on a particular memory of overhearing someone (okay, Jon) jerking off the year before. Jon had made these little noises, grunts (because everything Jon did was manly of course he had to be straight) and even though it was a year ago Ryan could still hear them clearly. Ryan also remembered what Jon sounded like when he was getting close. He sounded more muffled, probably trying not to wake up everyone else in the house, but he came with one last grunt and a low keen. Just remembering it brought Ryan over the edge, he liked to imagine in his head him and Jon coming together. He sighed, knowing how lame he was and how much Spencer would berate/tease/murder him if he knew what his spank bank consisted of. Whatever, it had been so worth it to get that glass of water just to hear those sounds.

Ryan got out of the shower feeling warm, sleepy, and sated. He always felt more at home and less on edge sleeping at Spencer’s. Especially when Jon was at college because then Ryan didn’t have to worry about running into him, or talking to him or anything. He found Spencer’s room empty when he got there, save for the pajamas laid out on the bed. He heard the front door open absently in the background, but didn’t think too much of it, figuring it was Spencer’s dad getting home from work. He also figured the sound of footsteps bounding up the steps was Spencer so he dropped his towel anyway (Spencer had walked in on Ryan naked enough times that he didn’t even bat an eye anymore).

“Yo, Spence, you home?” Was what Ryan heard, and that was so, so not Spencer’s dad’s voice. He turned around, horrified, and quickly tried to grope for his towel on the floor. (Grope, Ryan, really? Grope??) But he didn’t reach it and there of course was Jon standing in the doorway. With a full frontal shot. Ryan’s hands immediately flew southward to shield himself (even though he was far from ashamed of his dick and Jon had seen him plenty of times naked when he was a kid and stuff) and a dark, crimson color started to settle in over his entire body.

“Fuck, Ry, sorry.” Was all Jon said, his smile still in place. He didn’t leave the room; he didn’t even have the common courtesy to turn around just stood there, grinning like an idiot. At this moment Ryan couldn’t remember why he had a crush on Jon at all, that idiot.

“Um,” And all Ryan could think to say was, “you’re not supposed to be home ‘til the eighteenth.” Like the fucking stalker that he was. If possible, he turned an even darker shade of red at that.

“Yeah, I know,” Jon said rubbing a hand up the back of his neck. Ryan followed the muscles in his arm with his eyes involuntarily at this point. “But, I figured I’d come home for a weekend, surprise everyone.”

“Well, surprise,” Ryan said. Which were possibly the worst two words to say at this moment.

“Yup, I guess I’ll go unpack. Nice seeing you, Ry.” And Jon came over and hugged him, hugged him. Ryan didn’t move, just stood still, hoping to die. Jon was at the door, just about to leave when he turned around, wiggled an eyebrow, laughed, and said, “Nice seeing all of you.”

“Spencer, stop laughing!”

“I’m sorry, I c-can’t.” Spencer said, between breaths, his face bright red.

Ryan shoved at his shoulder and rolled over on the trundle bed so that he wasn’t facing his so-called best friend.

“Ry, stop. I’m sorry.” Spencer heaved a sigh, when his voice returned there wasn’t even a hint of a laugh in it anymore. “It’s just, there’s nothing to freak out over. Jon’s seen you naked plenty of times. I mean you’re practically like a brother to him too you know.”

Ryan knew that Spencer meant to be reassuring, but he couldn’t help but let out a sad, sort of sigh at that. He knew his crush on Jon was stupid and that Jon was straight, and his best friend’s cool older brother, and would never like him back. But sometimes, Ryan couldn’t help but like Jon anyway. He’d tried to date other people, to get his stupid crush out of his head. But the stupid crush stuck. He couldn’t picture anyone better for him but Jon. Stupid, idiotic, goofy, sweet Jon.

“Sorry, Ry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

Ryan rolled back over, giving Spencer his best “I’m okay” smile even though he knew that Spence knew better. “I know, it’s okay. Let’s just go to bed.”

Spencer nodded and shut his eyes. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Ryan echoed. Even though he had a million thoughts racing through his head Ryan fell asleep within minutes. He always slept better when Jon was in the house.

The next night Spencer apparently had some date to go out on. Jon wasn’t that surprised. Spencer had been texting him for weeks, about advice on this girl named Haley. Jon was glad that he’d been home for it; it was actually really cute helping Spence pick out what to wear for the Big Date, capital letters and all. Jon also figured since he had given such great date advice and had been an all around awesome older brother today that meant he got to go in Spencer’s room and play MarioKart on Spencer’s big screen TV that he got for his sixteenth birthday.

He was just about to pass Princess Peach when he heard a loud noise from outside. Jon didn’t look away from the TV, because it was thunder storming outside. He figured it was just the wind or a branch hitting the window. But then the window slammed shut, almost violently, and Jon was startled into looking.

He gasped, because there at Spencer’s window was Ryan, dripping wet and looking absolutely wrecked.

Jon immediately dropped the controller at his feet and stood up, approaching Ryan slowly, not wanting to spook him. Because Ryan’s body was tense and tight, poised for flight.

“Ry?” Jon asked slowly, reaching his hand out just as slowly towards Ryan’s shoulder. Once it landed there, Ryan flinched violently so Jon took his hand away.

“Spence? Where’s Spencer?” And Ryan’s eyes finally met Jon’s and he looked so, so out of it. Jon figured he was because Ryan wasn’t the type of friend to forget that Spencer had his big date tonight.

“He’s, uh, he’s out with Haley, Ry.” And that’s when Jon noticed the way Ryan’s right eye was a little dark and something that looked a lot like blood was leaking out of his nose. “Shit, come here.”

“I-I’ll just go,” Ryan started, turning to go back out the window. Jon closed his hand around Ryan’s wrist before even thinking about it.

“You don’t have to leave, come on,” Jon tugged a little and all the fight seemed to go out of Ryan. His body went lax and Jon tugged him a little more to lead him into the bathroom.

Ryan hopped onto the bathroom counter as if on autopilot which made something in Jon’s chest clench painfully. How many times had Spencer cleaned Ryan up in this very bathroom after something like this had happened? Jon knew that Ryan had troubles at home, but he should have known, should have noticed more, should have helped Ryan and Spencer more.

Jon slowly started unzipping Ryan’s soaking wet hoodie, one of his old ones that he’d handed down, and when Ryan didn’t seem to have a problem with that (perhaps because he was being completely unresponsive) Jon slid it off of Ryan’s shoulders. Ryan wasn’t even wearing a shirt underneath it and he was wearing sweats that were low on his hips, Jon guessed he’d haphazardly thrown this outfit together and ran over here in the rain. Jon got one of the warm, fluffy towels from the hamper in the hallway and came back and wrapped it around Ryan.

Ryan finally responded, his fingers tangling with Jon’s as he tugged the towel around his shoulders. Jon picked up a wad of tissues and gently stuck it under Ryan’s nose. Using two of his fingers under Ryan’s chin to tilt his nose up. Ryan took the tissues from Jon’s hand at that point and hiccupped out a little, “Th-thanks Jon.”

Jon just rested one hand on Ryan’s knee, squeezing gently in what he hoped Ryan got was support. He lifted the other hand to push Ryan’s wet bangs off of his black eye. He let his hand stay there, lightly massaging Ryan’s scalp for a few minutes until Ryan tilted his head back down and took the tissues away.

“Good?” He asked Jon.

Jon wet another tissue and wiped that over Ryan’s face gently and nodded.

Without thinking, Jon took Ryan’s hand and led him gently off of the counter and into his bedroom next door. Ryan didn’t say anything, just followed him listlessly to the bed. He let Ryan slide in first, before following and pulling the covers over both of them. Ryan sighed and curled automatically into Jon, a warm and settling feeling against Jon’s chest.

Jon wrapped his arms around the younger boy, holding him close. Again wondering how often Spencer and Ryan did this, and feeling a slight pang of jealously thinking of how Spencer got to hold Ryan close like this.

“J-Jon?” Ryan snuffled against Jon’s chest.

“Yeah?”

Ryan sighed. “You don’t have to do this. Not because you feel bad for me or because I’m Spencer’s friend. I’m sorry I can just go home, or wait in Spencer’s room, or-“

Jon shushed Ryan quickly. “Ryan, calm down.” He could feel the way Ryan was still hiccupping through his chest. “No one’s forcing me to do anything, okay?”

Ryan nodded again and Jon settled down again next to him, pulling Ryan even tighter against him. After a few minutes he heard a telltale sniffle.

“Ry? Do you want to talk about it?”

“No. God, I’m sorry, Jon, I’m so stupid. I’ll just leave.”

“Shhh, kid, calm down.” Jon settled a kiss onto the top of Ryan’s head. When Jon lifted Ryan’s head towards him, Ryan’s face was tearstained and red. Jon thought he’d never seen something so beautiful. Even though Ryan was vulnerable and Jon felt like he was taking advantage he pushed those thoughts out of his mind. He lifted Ryan’s chin and let his lips rest lightly against Ryan’s. He didn’t move, because he did not want to push, this was all up to Ryan.

Ryan whispered, “Jon,” like a plea and pushed up against Jon. His lips pressed back firmly against Jon’s. After a few seconds Jon felt a tongue probing at his bottom lip, he immediately opened up, taking Ryan in. He let his tongue slide lazily against Ryan’s forceful one. Gradually, he caught up with Ryan, kissing back forcefully and letting his lips slide harshly against Ryan’s. They kissed for what felt like hours because after a while Ryan yawned into Jon’s mouth.

He pulled back and giggled a little. “Sorry.”

Jon thought it was pretty adorable. He kissed Ryan quickly one last time. “Sleep,” He said tugging Ryan to his chest once more.

Ryan nodded and made a low, content sound. His eyes slipping shut and his arms tightening around Jon’s waist.

When Jon woke up it was to sunlight peaking through his window and his younger brother standing over his bed with a scowl on his face.

“We need to talk,” Spencer whispered, nodding his head towards the sleeping boy resting atop of Jon’s chest.

Jon nodded and slowly dislodged Ryan off of his chest and putting a pillow in his place. Luckily, he knew that Ryan slept like the dead and true to form the boy didn’t wake up just made some snuffly, precious sounds. Jon wondered how many little, random facts like that about Ryan that he already had stored in his mind.

He followed Spencer downstairs to the kitchen where his heavenly brother had two cups of coffee waiting on the table.

“You’re a god send, Spence,” Jon said as he savored the first sip. He set the cup down and looked at Spencer. “So, uh, how was your date?”

Spencer rolled his eyes, taking the seat across from Jon at the kitchen table. “We’ll get to that later, now what happened last night?” Spencer’s voice softened at the end, the way it normally did when he was talking about Ryan. That stupid, irrational jealousy was back a little.

“I don’t know. He came through your fucking window looking scared out of his mind. So, I don’t know, I just took care of him. Cleaned him up and let him sleep in my bed. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about this sooner, Spence. That someone’s been hurting him, Spencer. You should have seen his face last night.” Jon took a breath. “I could have killed someone.”

Spencer heaved a sigh as well. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but it was for Ryan to tell not me. I’m glad you were here last night.”

“Me, too.” Jon agreed. He still figured he and Spencer had a lot more to talk about, but for now it could wait. Except, Spencer wouldn’t stop looking at him with a calculating expression on his face. “What?”

“Are you sure that’s all that happened last night?” Spencer raised an eyebrow.

Jon immediately went red; he hated his mind-reading brother right now. “Yes, that’s all that happened.”

Spencer laughed and shook his head. “Jon, you didn’t. C’mon, I know something happened.”

Jon shook his head in response; he knew Spencer wasn’t going to let this go. “Alright, fine. We kissed. Um, a lot.”

“Jon!” Spencer reprimanded, his eyes stern. Sometimes it was really hard for Jon to remember that he was actually the older brother. “Why last night of all nights? Couldn’t you have gotten your shit together at some other time?”

“What? I’m sorry, Spence, but I couldn’t help it.” Jon stalled and lowered his voice. “And I know maybe I was taking advantage but it’s not like he’d kiss me at any other time, y’know?”

Spencer literally slapped a hand over his face. “You two are so stupid.”

“What do you mean?”

Spencer shook his head, not willing to give away any of Ryan’s secrets apparently. “Just talk to Ryan.”

But Jon didn’t talk to Ryan for the rest of the day. Ryan pretty much wanted to die. He tried to run home as quickly as he could but Ginger wasn’t having it. She insisted that he stay for dinner, sleep over, and have another shower if he wanted to. Ryan couldn’t say no to her especially when she staunchly ignored Ryan’s newest injuries.

Dinner was horrifically awkward at best. With Jon not saying anything and not even looking up from his plate and Ryan following suit. They were saved a little when Spencer’s parents kept prodding Spencer for information about his date. Spencer and Jon’s younger sisters giggled and asked Spencer about a million questions. When they asked Spencer if he’d kissed Haley last night, Ryan couldn’t help but stare at his plate harder and turn bright red.

That night Ryan didn’t even attempt to stay up and talk to Spencer about it. Especially when Spencer kept trying to get him to talk about the school semi-formal dance that was coming up in two days. He was happy that Spencer had asked Haley and that she’d said yes, but it still reminded him that he had no one to go with. It’s not like he could ask Jon now when things were so awkward. And some part of him knew (not the part of him that was fucking elated that Jon had finally kissed him and initiated the kiss no less) that Jon had only kissed him because he’d felt bad for Ryan.

Even though Jon was in the house that night, it took Ryan hours of tossing and turning to finally fall asleep.

On the night of the dance Ryan went over to Spencer’s to help him get ready.

“I can’t believe you’re making me go alone,” Spencer sighed as Ryan tied his tie. Ryan fiddled with it, keeping his eyes away from Spencer’s face.

“You’re not going alone, Haley’s going.” Even though Ryan wasn’t looking at Spencer, he could tell that Spencer was rolling his eyes.

“You could still come; you don’t need a date, y’know.”

“It’s okay, Spence.” Ryan let out a breath and looked up at the same time as Jon walked into the room.

Jon was just leaning lazily against Spencer’s doorframe, wearing only a pair of ratty pajama pants and looking gorgeous. “Lookin’ good, Spencer.”

Spencer flushed a little and turned around, his fingers fiddling with his tie. He’d never admit it to Ryan, but Ryan knew that Spencer hero-worshipped Jon. Jon’s approval meant a lot to him. “Thanks.”

The doorbell rang, stopping Spencer in his tracks. All the color drained from his face, leaving him a sickly pale. “I guess that’s Haley.”

“Guess so,” Jon said as Ryan said, “You want us to go down with you?”

Spencer shook his head. “I’m okay. Thanks, guys.” And with one last glance at himself in the mirror and a blinding smile, Spencer was gone. Leaving Jon and Ryan to their own devices. Ryan refused to look up from the ground.

“So, uh, no dance for you?” Jon awkwardly started, stepping into the room fully.

“Nope. Didn’t feel like going.”

“A-are you sure? ‘Cause you know. I, uh, I have a tux.”

Ryan shook his head vehemently. Jon was too nice. “Jon, just stop. You don’t have to be nice to me just ‘cause you feel sorry for me.”

Ryan started for the door but Jon stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, Ryan tried not to tense at the touch or to lean in and smell Jon either. Because that would be especially bad.

“What? Ry, it’s not because I feel sorry for you.” Jon took a deep breath. Ryan had never seen Jon look nervous, ever. If anything Jon Walker was completely unflappable. “Look, I wanted to apologize for the other night.”

Ryan sucked in a gasp. Of course, here was the part where Jon admitted that it was also a huge mistake.

“It’s okay. If you want to pretend it never happened, I mean.” Oh God, Ryan would never be able to sleep over Spencer’s house again.

“Is that what you want?”

Ryan shrugged, looking down at the ground. Then he felt two familiar fingers lifting his chin up. Ryan couldn’t look away, stuck in Jon’s brown eyes. And trying not to notice how close and shiny Jon’s lips were.

“Well, that’s not what I want.” And Ryan thought that he’d imagined Jon saying that, that he was hallucinating, but then Jon was moving forward, pressing his lips gently to Ryan’s again.

Ryan couldn’t move, too shocked that this was really happening. But then Jon was pulling away, oh God was Ryan really that bad of a kisser? All the girls he’d dated hadn’t seemed to mind.

“Shit, sorry, Ry. If you don’t want to-“

“Jon, shut up. Just shut up.” Ryan surged forward, awkwardly knocking Jon into Spencer’s door, but he didn’t care. He didn’t even bother with a gentle slide of lips; he slipped his tongue into Jon’s mouth and bit Jon’s bottom lip.

“God,” Jon groaned, turning around and pinning Ryan to the door in turn. And then he was tugging and Ryan’s impossibly long legs were around Jon’s waist. Ryan sighed, finally feeling those arm muscles that he loved so much tightening around his back. Jon bit Ryan’s lip back, letting his tongue slide forcefully against Ryan’s, fighting for power.

Ryan gave it over, letting Jon have him. He just made mewling noises against Jon’s lips and tried to grind against the parts of Jon’s lap that he could reach. He pulled apart from Jon when he ran out of breath, letting his head fall against the door.

Jon settled his face into Ryan’s neck and licked gently there. Ryan made a very embarrassing sound. “So, “Jon huffed out. “About that tux and the dance.”

Ryan hugged Jon tightly. “That’s really nice and everything but I might attack you if I see you in a tux all night.”

Jon laughed and bit Ryan’s earlobe quickly. “So, bedroom?”

“I thought you’d never ask, Jon Walker,” Ryan giggled as Jon shifted his arms around so that he was holding Ryan bridal style. Ryan turned red again and lowered his face into Jon’s hair. He couldn’t believe this was happening.

Once Jon had deposited Ryan onto his bed and was leaning over him, he smiled, his eyes softening a little and said, “You sure you don’t want to go to the dance, Ry?”

Ryan shook his head, leaning up to meet Jon in a kiss. “Nope, there’s nowhere I’d rather be.”

Fin.