Hokie
Last Friday was the least important day of my college career. Its purpose was to honor and reflect upon all of the days that came before it, and what I learned, achieved, and endured on those.
I allowed my insecurity to overwhelm my awareness, and convinced myself that my admission to Virginia Tech was some happy accident, clerical error, or quota padding. I knew that my academic and extra curricular qualifications secured my admittance, as did anyone I listed them to, but I took the excessive academic pressure from my parents, my rejection by nine Ivy-League institutions, and anti-affirmative action rhetoric from conservative commentators to heart more deeply than any encouragement.
From the beginning, I questioned the rightness of my Computer Science major, noting that I was not a hobbyist and did not program or run archaic systems for fun. I doubted my ability at programming and problem solving, and my fears were reinforced by my wandering in the Data Structures doldrums.
Yet even with the doubt and the difficulty, I stayed, I stuck, and I made it. I balanced my education with the Professional Writing minor and learned to distinguish the flaws in my academic program from the flaws in my academic effort. Dedicated professors discovered and rescued me, encouraging and enabling me to reach the Human-Computer Interaction coursework that reminded me of the goals, skills, and mission with which I entered Virginia Tech, reintroduced me to inspiration, ambition, daring, and success so that I could perform in my mainline CS courses. After all of the uncertainty, I've graduated with a degree in the major I started with and with the majority of my in-major class.
I did not prove anything on Friday. My defiance and perseverance in the face of adversity were already demonstrated, and my appearing uncrushed and uncowed was a repeat performance.
I learned to hope, to love, to enjoy, and to give thanks early on in my college career, as new experiences and personal empowerment opened me to new joys. Later, when difficulties strained my resilience, I learned to sacrifice, rely on others, and endure. Later still, valuing myself better, I learned to refuse and to reject all manner of wrongs in word and deed, and to plan and act audaciously.
My question of whether or not I was worthy of attending Virginia Tech is laid to rest. If I were not of sufficient mettle and merit to be a Hokie, then I would not have made it through graduation. That too, was already proven time and time again before last Friday.