Theraputic complaining
I was going to write an article talking about how Peter A. David has affected my interest in science fiction throughout most of my life (though I didn't find out until my later he was a writer on one of my favorite early shows, "Space Cases"), but something came up.
I work at a marine supply warehouse. Three weeks ago, on Feb. 27, I asked my immediate boss about getting a raise, since I had been doing a lot more stuff at work, at the request of the clerks. He said he'd think about it and get back to me the following week. Three weeks later, he's finally gotten back to me. I'm getting a raise from $6.80/hour to $7.50/hour, plus he wants me to start working up front more, and eventually doing clerk duties, like making invoices. This is supposed to be a very good thing.
And all it's done is made me more depressed than I already was. I hate working there. I've worked there for a year, and only took the job because I had fucked up at college and my dad threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't get a job, and that was the first one to call back. It's boring, the pay is crap, the work is hard when it actually comes up, my coworkers suck. It's really not where I want to be in my life. And now they want me to put even more effort into something I hate.
I keep going back to the fact that I'm unhappy that I'm getting paid more. ($6.80 an hour for 40 hours, plus 2.5 hours overtime, equals $297.50 per week, before taxes. $7.50 an hour for 40 hours, plus 2.5 hours overtime, equals $328.125 per week, before taxes.) I've been thinking very, very much about quitting, and if I was still getting $6.80 it would be easier. I hate people being mad at me and I bet they would.
EDIT: I should add, my workplace is owned by a family. My immediate boss, his dad, and his dad all work there, the older two doing important managerial stuff. Boss's dad (the one in the middle) also goes to my church, and I have know him, quite literally, my entire life. So there's some added guilt of disappointing someone I've known for that long.
I am both physically and mentally exhausted from this entire week. I'm just really not where I want to be in life right now.
I feel better now. It helps writing it down, even if no one reads it. Seriously, you don't have to read it (Unless you already did. Since I'm putting this notice at the bottom. In which case, sorry and thanks.), this is just some self-therapy. (And spell-check says I didn't make any spelling mistakes. Yay for small victories.)
I work at a marine supply warehouse. Three weeks ago, on Feb. 27, I asked my immediate boss about getting a raise, since I had been doing a lot more stuff at work, at the request of the clerks. He said he'd think about it and get back to me the following week. Three weeks later, he's finally gotten back to me. I'm getting a raise from $6.80/hour to $7.50/hour, plus he wants me to start working up front more, and eventually doing clerk duties, like making invoices. This is supposed to be a very good thing.
And all it's done is made me more depressed than I already was. I hate working there. I've worked there for a year, and only took the job because I had fucked up at college and my dad threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't get a job, and that was the first one to call back. It's boring, the pay is crap, the work is hard when it actually comes up, my coworkers suck. It's really not where I want to be in my life. And now they want me to put even more effort into something I hate.
I keep going back to the fact that I'm unhappy that I'm getting paid more. ($6.80 an hour for 40 hours, plus 2.5 hours overtime, equals $297.50 per week, before taxes. $7.50 an hour for 40 hours, plus 2.5 hours overtime, equals $328.125 per week, before taxes.) I've been thinking very, very much about quitting, and if I was still getting $6.80 it would be easier. I hate people being mad at me and I bet they would.
EDIT: I should add, my workplace is owned by a family. My immediate boss, his dad, and his dad all work there, the older two doing important managerial stuff. Boss's dad (the one in the middle) also goes to my church, and I have know him, quite literally, my entire life. So there's some added guilt of disappointing someone I've known for that long.
I am both physically and mentally exhausted from this entire week. I'm just really not where I want to be in life right now.
I feel better now. It helps writing it down, even if no one reads it. Seriously, you don't have to read it (Unless you already did. Since I'm putting this notice at the bottom. In which case, sorry and thanks.), this is just some self-therapy. (And spell-check says I didn't make any spelling mistakes. Yay for small victories.)