Yes, the voice acting really is that bad.
I haven't been to the mall around here in a while. It's about an hour's drive away when the traffic is good, so I usually don't go unless I plan on making a day of shopping errands on the way. I managed to pick up a cabinet for my kitchen I've been wanting for a while. My kitchen furniture currently consists of the little table and two chairs, two flimsy, overloaded shelves that were there when I moved in, a tiny bookshelf that's currently holding dishes because there's nowhere else to put them, and the cardboard box my beanbag chair came in for when I need an extra surface to lay stuff on. A cabinet won't go astray. Also picked up some boring things like import groceries and curtains. Am getting tempted to buy a toaster oven, because I'll never get anything approaching fresh cookies or cake in this country unless I make it myself.
About the only interesting things I managed to spent money on were some conveyor belt sushi for dinner, and a round of the Silent Hill arcade game. Tried it using both guns this time to see if it improved the odds, but the extra firepower is balanced out by the difficulty in aiming two guns at once at different targets. I DID manage to finish it again, and actually managed to get the "good ending" this time. Go me.
STAGE 1
AREA 1
Wander around town. Shoot shit. Not that hard. You'll save one of your idiot friends a minute or two in, but I don't think there's any real criteria for it. You'll wander the streets for a while, be subjected to treated to occasional exposition with the dorkiest voice acting you've ever heard, and eventually get to the hospital. Go "straight" (left, technically, but whatever) at the first intersection, and you'll get a shotgun for a while.
AREA 2
Can't remember exactly when area 2 starts, but you'll meet good ol' Pyramid Head either just before or just after. In any case, he's actually pretty damn formidable for the first boss (well, mini-boss) of the game. If your aim isn't dead-on and you don't shoot fast enough, he'll knock almost all your health off with one greatknife attack. Shooting his head won't do jack fucking squat, obviously, so aim for his shoulders and arms, especially the arm holding his greatknife. Do enough damage fast enough and you'll be able to run away like a sissy instead of getting pwned. When his cockroach posse starts swarming you, just shoot them off the screen when they appear, and keep shooting PH whenever you can. (You can save another one of your loser friends here, but I've actually never managed to save her. Shooting PH doesn't seem to stop him from giving her the Maria treatment, so I dunno. Maybe you have to shoot the cockroaches chasing her instead? Anyway. I'll experiment next time.) Eventually Mr. PH will go away, and you'll be back to shooting nurses and zombie dogs again. There's a segment where you have to find a key to continue, but the only time I remember having to do it was when I was playing two-player mode.
AREA 3
Boss time. Some kind of big bastard flying...thing. Despite how often he flashes his teeth at you and how tempting it is to feed him bullets, his weak spot is actually the slightly glowing part on his chest that he keeps covering with his hands. Whether he's menacing you on the ground or pulling his "DEATH FROM ABOVE!" routine, shoot that spot, as much as you can and as fast as you can. Hit it enough and he won't even be able to get an attack off. For your trouble, you'll save the requisite EVIL BUT NOT RLY little girl.
STAGE 2
AREA 1
Off to the historical society/prison we go. This area has a lot of Scrapers, some Insane Cancers that have been severely pussified, and some...weird-ass monkey-things that look vaguely like the Gum Heads from SH4. In any case, heatshot the lot of them before they get close. (Handy tip: hold your fire when you see stationary or ceiling-bound cockroaches and slugs. If they're just sitting there minding their own squishy giant-insect business, they often won't even bother attacking you unless you shoot first.) The closest thing to a boss in this area is this giant...worm thing that chases you down corridors from time to time. Feed him bullets until he goes away.
AREA 2
Another key-seeking distraction here. The key's in the door directly in front of you (click the "straight" arrow), the the door it unlocks will be on the left as you exit that room. The other way just has some enemies for you to kill, and a crack at James Sunderland with a variation on the clogged toilet gag. The end of this area has another mini-boss: the Split Worm (aka. that extremely phallic boss from the shopping mall in SH3). Doesn't take a genius to figure out that his weak spot is his mouth. When he surfaces to fling roaches at you, try to pick them off in the air before they reach you. You save yet another one of your idiot friends here, and kind of wish you hadn't when he yammers some stupid lines at you ("Wow, this is a really filthy place!"). I'm pretty sure there's criteria for it (time limit, maybe), but the worm is easy enough to take out that it shouldn't be a problem.
AREA 3
More trudging through the prison, until you get to the main boss of the stage: some kind of giant deformed doll-thing. And yep, more idiot friends to save, this time with a timer attached. Not too hard, but the doll moves REALLY fast, so your aim has to be decent. Aim for her head whenever it's in sight. Chances are you won't be able to hit her while she's crawling around on the ceiling like a spider on crack, but she'll stumble around on the ground and grab you from time to time, so there's plenty of chances to heatshot her.
STAGE 3
AREA 1
OMGZ, the little girl is related to the EVIL TOWN somehow? AND she has a traumatic back-story? What are the freaking odds, eh? Anyway, you'll jump from one totally unrelated area to another here. First up: shopping mall. Try to shoot the Numb Bodies quickly, so they don't puke acid on you. After some mall walking with some really atrocious voice acting ("I've never been to a mall that I've wanted to leave so quickly!" *facepalm*), you'll get warped to...Lakeside Amusement Park, home of the freakiest damn things in the entire game: Robbie the Rabbit. Yes, hordes and hordes of living Robbies, screaming at you out of the dark, wielding chainsaws and shotguns and throwing axes. FUCK. Take then out fast, or they'll pwn you. Badly. If the axe-throwers get a shot off, try to pick off the axe in the air before it hits. There's really not much to do besides kill them as fast as possible and wait for their evil bunny laughter to haunt your dreams.
AREA 2
A revisit of the hospital? Nothing new in this part, it's just intense because it doesn't give you a break. (Plot stuff will yammer away in the background, but you can't hear sweet fuck all anyway because everything ELSE is so loud. Whatever, game.) You'll flick back and forth between dimensions every few seconds, and you'll be alternately (1) assaulted by an endless stream of nurses, zombie dogs, and bats, and (2) stalked by Pyramid Head. Deal with them all the same as you normally would, just faster. Eventually you'll get to the end of the line, and you'll end up in a full-on boss battle with PH. Though honestly, I think the battle back in stage 1 is way harder than this one. There's a lot more opportunities to shoot his arms during this battle, he doesn't throw roaches/bats at you nearly as often, and if you can keep pumping bullets into him fast enough, he'll never touch you.
AREA 3
Last part! The game's still pretending to have something resembling a plot, so there's a few cheesy cut scenes before the final boss battle kicks in. To be fair to an otherwise ridiculously corny game, the final boss does at least have an interesting design. Kind of a...giant gaping medusa-ish chick with a hand coming out of her mouth. In any case, the hand is the main weak point. Possibly the mouth as well, but you'll have to shoot the hand if you want to stop her from slapping you to death. A minute or two into the battle, eight smaller hands will reach up out of the water. If you don't care which ending you get, ignore them unless they attack. If you want the good ending, shoot the hands until they let go, then finish them off as they rush over and try to attack you. Make sure you've gotten them all before focussing your fire on the boss again. Her attacks hurt like a bitch, but she doesn't actually have much HP, so it's easy to kill her before you nail all the hands if you're not careful.
THE END. If you got the good ending, bask in the hilariously awful cut scenes and random glamour shot of Mr. PH after the credits.
About the only interesting things I managed to spent money on were some conveyor belt sushi for dinner, and a round of the Silent Hill arcade game. Tried it using both guns this time to see if it improved the odds, but the extra firepower is balanced out by the difficulty in aiming two guns at once at different targets. I DID manage to finish it again, and actually managed to get the "good ending" this time. Go me.
STAGE 1
AREA 1
Wander around town. Shoot shit. Not that hard. You'll save one of your idiot friends a minute or two in, but I don't think there's any real criteria for it. You'll wander the streets for a while, be subjected to treated to occasional exposition with the dorkiest voice acting you've ever heard, and eventually get to the hospital. Go "straight" (left, technically, but whatever) at the first intersection, and you'll get a shotgun for a while.
AREA 2
Can't remember exactly when area 2 starts, but you'll meet good ol' Pyramid Head either just before or just after. In any case, he's actually pretty damn formidable for the first boss (well, mini-boss) of the game. If your aim isn't dead-on and you don't shoot fast enough, he'll knock almost all your health off with one greatknife attack. Shooting his head won't do jack fucking squat, obviously, so aim for his shoulders and arms, especially the arm holding his greatknife. Do enough damage fast enough and you'll be able to run away like a sissy instead of getting pwned. When his cockroach posse starts swarming you, just shoot them off the screen when they appear, and keep shooting PH whenever you can. (You can save another one of your loser friends here, but I've actually never managed to save her. Shooting PH doesn't seem to stop him from giving her the Maria treatment, so I dunno. Maybe you have to shoot the cockroaches chasing her instead? Anyway. I'll experiment next time.) Eventually Mr. PH will go away, and you'll be back to shooting nurses and zombie dogs again. There's a segment where you have to find a key to continue, but the only time I remember having to do it was when I was playing two-player mode.
AREA 3
Boss time. Some kind of big bastard flying...thing. Despite how often he flashes his teeth at you and how tempting it is to feed him bullets, his weak spot is actually the slightly glowing part on his chest that he keeps covering with his hands. Whether he's menacing you on the ground or pulling his "DEATH FROM ABOVE!" routine, shoot that spot, as much as you can and as fast as you can. Hit it enough and he won't even be able to get an attack off. For your trouble, you'll save the requisite EVIL BUT NOT RLY little girl.
STAGE 2
AREA 1
Off to the historical society/prison we go. This area has a lot of Scrapers, some Insane Cancers that have been severely pussified, and some...weird-ass monkey-things that look vaguely like the Gum Heads from SH4. In any case, heatshot the lot of them before they get close. (Handy tip: hold your fire when you see stationary or ceiling-bound cockroaches and slugs. If they're just sitting there minding their own squishy giant-insect business, they often won't even bother attacking you unless you shoot first.) The closest thing to a boss in this area is this giant...worm thing that chases you down corridors from time to time. Feed him bullets until he goes away.
AREA 2
Another key-seeking distraction here. The key's in the door directly in front of you (click the "straight" arrow), the the door it unlocks will be on the left as you exit that room. The other way just has some enemies for you to kill, and a crack at James Sunderland with a variation on the clogged toilet gag. The end of this area has another mini-boss: the Split Worm (aka. that extremely phallic boss from the shopping mall in SH3). Doesn't take a genius to figure out that his weak spot is his mouth. When he surfaces to fling roaches at you, try to pick them off in the air before they reach you. You save yet another one of your idiot friends here, and kind of wish you hadn't when he yammers some stupid lines at you ("Wow, this is a really filthy place!"). I'm pretty sure there's criteria for it (time limit, maybe), but the worm is easy enough to take out that it shouldn't be a problem.
AREA 3
More trudging through the prison, until you get to the main boss of the stage: some kind of giant deformed doll-thing. And yep, more idiot friends to save, this time with a timer attached. Not too hard, but the doll moves REALLY fast, so your aim has to be decent. Aim for her head whenever it's in sight. Chances are you won't be able to hit her while she's crawling around on the ceiling like a spider on crack, but she'll stumble around on the ground and grab you from time to time, so there's plenty of chances to heatshot her.
STAGE 3
AREA 1
OMGZ, the little girl is related to the EVIL TOWN somehow? AND she has a traumatic back-story? What are the freaking odds, eh? Anyway, you'll jump from one totally unrelated area to another here. First up: shopping mall. Try to shoot the Numb Bodies quickly, so they don't puke acid on you. After some mall walking with some really atrocious voice acting ("I've never been to a mall that I've wanted to leave so quickly!" *facepalm*), you'll get warped to...Lakeside Amusement Park, home of the freakiest damn things in the entire game: Robbie the Rabbit. Yes, hordes and hordes of living Robbies, screaming at you out of the dark, wielding chainsaws and shotguns and throwing axes. FUCK. Take then out fast, or they'll pwn you. Badly. If the axe-throwers get a shot off, try to pick off the axe in the air before it hits. There's really not much to do besides kill them as fast as possible and wait for their evil bunny laughter to haunt your dreams.
AREA 2
A revisit of the hospital? Nothing new in this part, it's just intense because it doesn't give you a break. (Plot stuff will yammer away in the background, but you can't hear sweet fuck all anyway because everything ELSE is so loud. Whatever, game.) You'll flick back and forth between dimensions every few seconds, and you'll be alternately (1) assaulted by an endless stream of nurses, zombie dogs, and bats, and (2) stalked by Pyramid Head. Deal with them all the same as you normally would, just faster. Eventually you'll get to the end of the line, and you'll end up in a full-on boss battle with PH. Though honestly, I think the battle back in stage 1 is way harder than this one. There's a lot more opportunities to shoot his arms during this battle, he doesn't throw roaches/bats at you nearly as often, and if you can keep pumping bullets into him fast enough, he'll never touch you.
AREA 3
Last part! The game's still pretending to have something resembling a plot, so there's a few cheesy cut scenes before the final boss battle kicks in. To be fair to an otherwise ridiculously corny game, the final boss does at least have an interesting design. Kind of a...giant gaping medusa-ish chick with a hand coming out of her mouth. In any case, the hand is the main weak point. Possibly the mouth as well, but you'll have to shoot the hand if you want to stop her from slapping you to death. A minute or two into the battle, eight smaller hands will reach up out of the water. If you don't care which ending you get, ignore them unless they attack. If you want the good ending, shoot the hands until they let go, then finish them off as they rush over and try to attack you. Make sure you've gotten them all before focussing your fire on the boss again. Her attacks hurt like a bitch, but she doesn't actually have much HP, so it's easy to kill her before you nail all the hands if you're not careful.
THE END. If you got the good ending, bask in the hilariously awful cut scenes and random glamour shot of Mr. PH after the credits.