"the apocalypse is here!"
How to be Annoying in the Computer Lab
# Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes and then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
# When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the darned thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, and repeat the process for a good half hour.
# Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
# Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to a different screen than the one it's set up with.
# Write a program that plays the "Pokemon" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over and over again.
# Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
# Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.
# Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.
# Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say, "Just in case..." mysteriously.
# Enter the lab, undress, and start staring at other people as if they're crazy while typing.
# Every time you press return and there is processing time required, pray, "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
# "Disk fight!"
# Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you, whether you know them or not.
# If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Thong Song" whenever there is processing time required.
# Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British royal family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
# Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in a great flood" and continue working.
# Assign a musical note to every key (ex. the delete key is A flat). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.
# Attempt to eat your computer mouse.
# Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?" unplugging the keyboard, and taking it.
# Bring in a bunch of magnets and have a ball.
# Come into the computer lab wearing several extra-stinky species of flowers in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily exclaim, "You're such a marvel!" and kiss the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbour, the computer assistant, and then walk out.
# Run into the computer lab, shout, "The Apocalypse is here!" then calmly sit down and begin to type.
# Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes and then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
# When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the darned thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, and repeat the process for a good half hour.
# Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
# Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to a different screen than the one it's set up with.
# Write a program that plays the "Pokemon" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over and over again.
# Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
# Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.
# Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.
# Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say, "Just in case..." mysteriously.
# Enter the lab, undress, and start staring at other people as if they're crazy while typing.
# Every time you press return and there is processing time required, pray, "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
# "Disk fight!"
# Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you, whether you know them or not.
# If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Thong Song" whenever there is processing time required.
# Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British royal family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
# Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in a great flood" and continue working.
# Assign a musical note to every key (ex. the delete key is A flat). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.
# Attempt to eat your computer mouse.
# Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?" unplugging the keyboard, and taking it.
# Bring in a bunch of magnets and have a ball.
# Come into the computer lab wearing several extra-stinky species of flowers in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily exclaim, "You're such a marvel!" and kiss the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbour, the computer assistant, and then walk out.
# Run into the computer lab, shout, "The Apocalypse is here!" then calmly sit down and begin to type.