(no subject)
We made it through Halloween. I was working on Gabriel's costume up until about an hour before we had to leave the house, but we made it. Sean dressed up as a Native American, Caitlin was a fairy and Gabriel was a bumblebee. I didn't get any pictures of Gabriel dressed up because we were in such a hurry, but he'll be easy to dress up again and get some pictures.
We went to Andy's mother's church (we live out in the middle of nowhere so trick or treating would be impossible) where they had a church carnival for the kids. There were lots of games and probably ten different inflatables for the kids to play on. Caitlin and Sean liked the giant slide the best, but the games were a big hit for Sean too. Thankfully this isn't a church that does Trunk or Treat, which I think is one of the dumbest things ever thought up and completely ruins Halloween.
Gabriel is five months old and is so desperate to crawl. He can't sit up yet, but it won't be long before he figures out how to really crawl. He already pulls himself around, does funny push-ups and can move his knees resulting in him falling flat on his nose.
I'm going through the mass hair loss that happens after pregnancy. I HATE this period. There is hair everywhere and all over me. It doesn't help that I haven't had my hair cut in about a year so it's pretty long now. I want a hair cut. I don't know when it happened but I've turned into "that mom". I never wear make up or even look in the mirror before I walk out the door. I have one pair of jeans and maybe five t-shirts that I wear when I'm out and my hair is in a constant ponytail. Last night I looked in the mirror while brushing my teeth and saw the beginnings of a wrinkle across my forehead. I'm 26, what the fuck is going on that I'm starting to get wrinkles?! It's fucking depressing. I got into a funk last night because I miss getting to be a girl instead of just a mom. I miss being able to take baths, paint my nails and do my hair. I miss being able to drink a glass of wine without a baby trying to kick it out of my hand or drink it themselves. Andy keeps telling me it will get better and I know it will, but it kind of rubs me the wrong way when he tells me that. I love him, and I know that he is tired and stressed too, but he goes out with his friends twice a month while I take care of the kids. He stays up after I go to bed with Gabriel and the kids are asleep and can watch tv or get online in peace. I can't go out, we tried one night and I had to come home because Gabriel won't take a bottle.
Anyway, this wasn't supposed to be as depressing as it turned out to be so I'm going to stop now before it gets worse.