Filling up space

[barefootcellist]

I take up space. I'm not sure I like the me who is not depressed. Who is this person anyway? She's brash and forward and rude and selfish. And she takes up space.

I saw a doctor about being sick all the time, and now I just need to make appointments for the labs. The doctor said I was muscular, not fat. But... I can't stop being so anxious about it. About the softness and not fitting certain clothing sizes, wishing my arms were smaller so I could splurge on that beautiful Tiger of Sweden blazer...

At the same time, I feel like I'm really finding my style. Finding that femme that is no longer so much lurking inside.

I have many things up in the air. Finding work, trying to figure out where my life is headed next.

My nights are tossing and turning and waking up in a sweat nightmares and anxiety.

I don't really know what I want.

I feel lonely too.



You are female ehh, chromosomally yes.

You are in high school

You dropped out of high school

You graduated within the last 5 years and soon again!

You live on your own

You live within 20 minutes of your best friend

You live within 20 minutes of the last person you kissed goodness!

You live within 20 minutes of your ex

You have hugged someone in the last 48 hours

You have been to the movies within the last week

You have had 3 or more boyfriends/girlfriends just this year

You have been a designated driver

You have broken merchandise and not paid for it

You have played strip poker

You are atheist

You recycle regularly

You are a brunette

You have dated a blonde

You are friends with a redhead

You are taller than your mom

You have a checking account

You’ve written a check for less than $5

You have visited the Statue of Liberty I've lived in New York!

You have visited the Eiffel Tower I've lived in Paris!

You have visited Big Ben

You have visited the Coliseum

You have visited The Great Wall of China

You have never been out of the country

You have been a waiter/waitress

You own a Bible

You own something with a Pentagram on it

You have used a Ouija Board

You have been a witch for Halloween

You have been a zombie for Halloween

You have been a Disney character for Halloween

You don’t celebrate Halloween

You have your belly button pierced

You have your tongue pierced

You have your eyebrow pierced Had.

You have a Monroe piercing

You have your nose pierced

You have a tattoo

You have an ankle tattoo

You have a wrist tattoo

You have a back tattoo

You have no tattoos

You have more than 5 tattoos

You straighten your hair

You have worn a dress in the last 3 days

You live somewhere that gets snow

You celebrate Chanukkah

You were at your own house last New Year’s

You were at a bar last New Year’s

You slept through last New Year’s

You have worked on Christmas Eve

You have worked on Christmas

You have been told ‘I love you’ by someone today

You were told by someone not who’s not family you mean today? no.

You slept in your own bed last night

You are dating the last person you kissed you could say that, yes :D

You regret kissing the last person you kissed

You enjoyed your last kiss

You are wearing a necklace right now

You are wearing something red

You are wearing something blue

You are wearing something purple

Your phone is fully charged

Your phone number ends with an even number

You have kissed the last person you called/texted

You last called/texted a boy

You are currently listening to music

You are waiting for something

You don’t like seafood

You have eaten deer sausage

You have given a complete stranger your phone number

You have been hit on at work

You have been hit on by someone more than 20 years older than you

You have been whistled at

You were creeped out by it

You are a good speller

You are very punctual

You were dating someone in December of 2008

You are still dating that person

You have cheated on someone

You have been cheated on

You have been on a cruise ship

You have camped out in your own backyard

You are wearing something that doesn’t belong to you

You are a Pisces

You are a Leo

You are a Capricorn

You have Irish heritage

You have Polish heritage

You have Japanese heritage

You have Israeli heritage

You have German heritage

You have Portuguese heritage

You have French heritage

You have Norwegian heritage

You have Korean heritage

You were born in May

You were born in June

You were born in October

You wonder what will happen when you die

You are afraid of the dark

You write in all capital letters

You have been told you have nice handwriting

You have had a song written for you

You have had a picture drawn of you

You have curly hair

Your phone provider is Sprint

Your phone provider is AT&T

Your phone provider is Verizon

You live within an hour of your birthplace

You are wearing a watch

You are wearing flip flops

You wouldn’t date someone who smoked

You know someone with the same birthday as you

You are a morning person

You are a night owl

You slept in past 10am today

You have big plans for next weekend

You are thinking of someone right now

Your job is stressing you out

You don’t have a job

You have never had a job

You were fired from your last job

You know sign language

You made your bed today

You will usually try something at least once

You have been swimming in the last month

You are pessimistic by nature

You have taken a ballet class

You have taken karate

You have taken gymnastics

You wish on shooting stars

You wish at 11:11

Your birthday has already come this year

You have been in a relationship that lasted longer than a year

You ended your last relationship

Your ex ended your last relationship

You are over your ex

You have gone after someone you knew was bad for you

You have let someone use you

You have been in a physically abusive relationship

You are engaged

You are married

You are divorced

You have a child

You were/are a teenage mom

You were named after someone

You like your name

Your last drink was water

You have visited somewhere said to be ‘haunted’

You have skipped school just because you didn’t feel like going

You have taken medicine when you ‘feel a headache coming on’

You are self-conscious about your body

You have a hangover

You have had a Jehovah’s Witness show up at your house

You have pet fish

You live on a farm

You live in a trailer

You live in Montana

You live in South Carolina

You live in Illinois

You live in Maryland

You live in New Mexico

You have godparents

You have step-siblings

You are the oldest

You are adopted

You have a twin

You don’t want kids

You want more than four kids

You have a bad temper

You have made out with a complete stranger

You usually make the first move in an intimate situation

You regret losing your virginity

You lost your virginity to someone the same age as you

You lost your virginity to someone you were dating

You lost your virginity before you were sixteen

You have worked with a Kayla

You have gone to the movies with a Jared

You have hugged a Lexie

You have held hands with a Marcus

You have dated a Rachel

You have kissed a David

You have ridden in a car with a Nicole

You have had class with a Patrick

You have gone out to eat with a Chloe

You know a Kyle in the military

You are related to a Julie

You have gotten drunk with a Brent

You have broken your arm

You have had to get stitches on your face

You have had an MRI

Your fingernails are painted

Your fingernails are painted black

You like to read

You like to cook

You like to draw

You can play an instrument

You keep a lot of secrets from some people

You don’t think people would accept you if they really got to know you

You don’t trust people easily

You borrowed something you really need to give back to someone

You drive a car older than a 2002

You have lost a friend you never thought you would

You know a child who died of cancer

You know a teenager who died in a car wreck

You have done something illegal in the past 24 hours

You have cut your hair in the last week

You wear glasses

You have been pulled over for speeding

You love to drive with the windows down

Your favorite season is Autumn

Your favorite color is orange

Your favorite animal is a dolphin

You last rode in a car with a relative

You last rode in a car with a girl

You last rode in a car with the person you are dating

You regularly watch soap operas

You love Italian food

You love Mexican food

You love Chinese food

You can see a box of tissues from where you are

You can see your reflection in a mirror

You can see what’s on tv from where you are

Your best friend is older than you

You have to go to school/work tomorrow

You answered every question truthfully