Sitting on fences
I can't help but think that I could have done so much better last semester. And though I was in denial of it, I was definitely self-medicating with marijuana for stress, and I shouldn't have. Ya know, I haven't smoked in over a month, and I don't miss it at all. Not that I'm any less of a dreamer or more of a doer, since that is genuinely my nature. And I wish I had asked out this girl that I always wanted to get to know better and kind of had a crush on, because apparently, she wouldn't have declined!
*
So I can't decide if I should go to Lapland with my parents or not. They are leaving tomorrow, midsummer night's eve and are staying through the following week. My other option is to stay at home, attend a celebration of one of my friends, and then be able to go to all of the Pride events that are scheduled. The only thing would be that aside from those events I probably wouldn't have anything to do since I doubt I'll get any work gigs for next week, and most of my friends will be away. Regardless, I'll be flying back Wednesday, and still make it to the drag king show, the queer film night, and a couple of other events.. But I would be missing two of the events I was the most looking forward to: the young lesbians discussion group and the queer literary evening. But if I go, I still get to do both, and probably, despite the amazing fun of queer stuff, my heart will crave the Laponian wilderness.
*
Don't someone want a piece of this fine ass? (did I really just write that?) But um, I've pretty much been bicycling everywhere and running and carrying hundreds of kilos of gravel for our garden and doing yoga, and um...except for some pesky lovehandles, which some girls could find sexy, I guess, I'm feeling happier with my body than I have in years. Not to say that this is some sort of obsessive thing, because I'm long over that, but I was trying on underwear today and it was actually a pleasant experience, having to stare at my nether regions. And despite my very healthy attitude towards food and my body for the last year and a half, there's always been that little wish of being firmer or smaller whatever. But I feel sexy these days. And healthy. And that's really the most important thing.
*
So I can't decide if I should go to Lapland with my parents or not. They are leaving tomorrow, midsummer night's eve and are staying through the following week. My other option is to stay at home, attend a celebration of one of my friends, and then be able to go to all of the Pride events that are scheduled. The only thing would be that aside from those events I probably wouldn't have anything to do since I doubt I'll get any work gigs for next week, and most of my friends will be away. Regardless, I'll be flying back Wednesday, and still make it to the drag king show, the queer film night, and a couple of other events.. But I would be missing two of the events I was the most looking forward to: the young lesbians discussion group and the queer literary evening. But if I go, I still get to do both, and probably, despite the amazing fun of queer stuff, my heart will crave the Laponian wilderness.
*
Don't someone want a piece of this fine ass? (did I really just write that?) But um, I've pretty much been bicycling everywhere and running and carrying hundreds of kilos of gravel for our garden and doing yoga, and um...except for some pesky lovehandles, which some girls could find sexy, I guess, I'm feeling happier with my body than I have in years. Not to say that this is some sort of obsessive thing, because I'm long over that, but I was trying on underwear today and it was actually a pleasant experience, having to stare at my nether regions. And despite my very healthy attitude towards food and my body for the last year and a half, there's always been that little wish of being firmer or smaller whatever. But I feel sexy these days. And healthy. And that's really the most important thing.