not so random musings
so this has been stewing in me for a week and it's been a long time since i've really rambled or asked for any thoughts on here, but i feel like this is the time to use it. i'm even going to not have this be friends locked so that i can get other people to read. any sort of feedback, suggestions, and ideas are greatly appreciated. i fully understand this is my decision in the end, but i still don't want to make it completely alone.
the issue first. a former coworker of mine left this past summer to go work in philadelphia at a charter type school. she has very small class sizes and pretty much created her own program because it was new. her students all have to be accpeted into the school and pass all their classes to be able to stay in the school. last week she sent me an email that there was a msuic position opening in her school and wondered if i, or anyone else i knew, would be interested. after thinking about it a little, i realized that i sort of was. but since then i've had a lot of thoughts in my mind about the situation. this is in no means a sure job offer, but it could be. and i don't want to be the sort of person that applies, gets the job, and then turns it down. it's a waste of the schools time as well as would look bad for me...so, let me give you my positives and negatives.
professionally: when i took the current job i am in it was because it was a job, quite honestly. i had no other options and no other offers so there it was. i was lucky. it's 6/7 grade general music. i don't hate it. in fact, i've come to enjoy it the past three years as i get to know what i want to teach and the different characteristics in the children. but it's not what i want to do forever. the position in philly would be a high school position. sarah says there's no position as such yet, so i'd probably be pretty flexible with the cirriculum i want to do. which is stressful but so amazing. creating the program i would want! i would be working in a very small school inner city, but again their children have to apply and keep a certain gpa to stay there. the staff is a lot smaller so i would know everyone. i guess professionally it should really be a no brainer.
personally: the biggest hang up is this: i don't think i'm a city person. i have lived all my life in smallish city/town areas. i have loved the peace and quiet that brings, sitting outside just reading in the peace. i know that living in philly i would meet more people which is something that i crave here in eastburg. i'm so tired of being alone. (completely different story...) some things would be a lot easier to access, while others may be more of a pain. i would have sarah and jude to hang out with. but i'd be moving a farther away from most of the people that i love the most. i'd be farther from family, farther from some of my closest friends. i've survived here in stroudsburg alone for three years, but how different would walking the streets in philly by myself all the time be. i just don't know if i'm cut at for that. it's really the biggest hang up right now.
as i'm writing this i'm seeing where my thoughts are pulling. but it's not without contrast. i just don't know what i want to do. i know you can't tell me to do it or not. and there's no saying this would be a job anyway if i apply. who knows, there are probably tons more people more qualified who may send in resumes and applications....please please please leave some thoughts. i love you all.
the issue first. a former coworker of mine left this past summer to go work in philadelphia at a charter type school. she has very small class sizes and pretty much created her own program because it was new. her students all have to be accpeted into the school and pass all their classes to be able to stay in the school. last week she sent me an email that there was a msuic position opening in her school and wondered if i, or anyone else i knew, would be interested. after thinking about it a little, i realized that i sort of was. but since then i've had a lot of thoughts in my mind about the situation. this is in no means a sure job offer, but it could be. and i don't want to be the sort of person that applies, gets the job, and then turns it down. it's a waste of the schools time as well as would look bad for me...so, let me give you my positives and negatives.
professionally: when i took the current job i am in it was because it was a job, quite honestly. i had no other options and no other offers so there it was. i was lucky. it's 6/7 grade general music. i don't hate it. in fact, i've come to enjoy it the past three years as i get to know what i want to teach and the different characteristics in the children. but it's not what i want to do forever. the position in philly would be a high school position. sarah says there's no position as such yet, so i'd probably be pretty flexible with the cirriculum i want to do. which is stressful but so amazing. creating the program i would want! i would be working in a very small school inner city, but again their children have to apply and keep a certain gpa to stay there. the staff is a lot smaller so i would know everyone. i guess professionally it should really be a no brainer.
personally: the biggest hang up is this: i don't think i'm a city person. i have lived all my life in smallish city/town areas. i have loved the peace and quiet that brings, sitting outside just reading in the peace. i know that living in philly i would meet more people which is something that i crave here in eastburg. i'm so tired of being alone. (completely different story...) some things would be a lot easier to access, while others may be more of a pain. i would have sarah and jude to hang out with. but i'd be moving a farther away from most of the people that i love the most. i'd be farther from family, farther from some of my closest friends. i've survived here in stroudsburg alone for three years, but how different would walking the streets in philly by myself all the time be. i just don't know if i'm cut at for that. it's really the biggest hang up right now.
as i'm writing this i'm seeing where my thoughts are pulling. but it's not without contrast. i just don't know what i want to do. i know you can't tell me to do it or not. and there's no saying this would be a job anyway if i apply. who knows, there are probably tons more people more qualified who may send in resumes and applications....please please please leave some thoughts. i love you all.