Easier
Title: Easier
Author: bardlover6
Rating: R
Spoilers: All episodes just to be safe.
Warnings: Boysex, but honestly you should know that based on this comm.
Written for an anonymous prompt of gleeangstmeme. "Kurt/Puck. Both of them believe the other is imagining someone else. It's almost a security blanket - if Kurt pretends Puck wants Quinn and Puck pretends Kurt wants Finn, then it isn't real. Except, it is real, and it hits them both hard when they realise." Hope the anon likes it.
Oh, no beta as my beta is not into Glee yet. I'm working on it though!
Easier
If Kurt had to pinpoint when it started, he would guess that Quinn’s refusal of Puck in front of the entire glee club (even Mr. Schue!) would be the starting point of their rather nontraditional relationship. Even though Finn didn’t want anything to do with either of them, and Quinn was pregnant with Puck’s child, she would rather take care of herself than accept any money or support from him, much less try to date him again. Kurt had never been a big fan of Puck, who after all had spent the better part of middle and high school tossing him into dumpsters and giving him slushie facials, but he couldn’t help but feel devastated for Puck. Sure, he had his silly unrequited crush on Finn whom Puck had betrayed, but Kurt couldn’t imagine not being able to be a part of his child’s life. Granted, Kurt would probably never have kids, but to have the promise of one and then be denied any of the joy and responsibility…
So he had confronted Puck after club let out, finding him sitting listlessly in the hallway, nursing the bruises that Finn’s punches had left him.
“Do you need ice for that?” he asked gently.
Puck looked up to him in surprise. “What do you care, Hummel? You should be running after your precious Finn. He probably feels needy right now. Who knows, he might even notice that you have a crush on him as big as the wall of China,” he spat out.
Kurt should have expected this. Even hurting, this was still Puck. “You know what, you’re right. Everyone else will be rushing to Finn’s side. After all, even if he is a bit clueless, he was the one betrayed by his girlfriend and his best friend. I can’t let Rachel move in on him now.” He turned to leave.
“Wait!”
Kurt turned back to the jock in surprise. “What is it? Have another insult to hurl?”
Puck sighed. “No. Just…thanks, Hummel. For seeing about me. No one else has even spared me a second glance. Matt even forgot he was supposed to give me a ride. Or, maybe he didn’t.” He frowned as if just realizing it. “I bet he gave Finn a ride instead.”
“Well, I have a car.” The words were out of Kurt’s mouth before he could take them back. Shit.
“Would you mind driving me home? I promise I won’t make fun of whatever Beyonce or Lady Gaga song you have playing.” The hopeful look on his face broke Kurt.
“Fine. But you better not mess up the leather interior either. It’s Corinthian.”
That was how Kurt found himself with Puck in his Lincoln Navigator, which was in turn how he found himself letting Puck in his basement bedroom, because Puck’s mother and sister weren’t home, and somehow he had lost his house key. Honestly, how did someone manage to lose the key to their own house?
“Sweet pad, Hummel. How’d you manage this setup?”
“I’m an only child, and my dad feels bad that I don’t have my mom around anymore.”
“Oh. Sorry, I forgot about your mom.”
What surprised Kurt the most was the way that Puck said it. Like he actually meant it. Then again, Puck had a runaway dad, so he probably knew how much it hurt to be down a parent. At least Kurt had the knowledge that his mom hadn’t wanted to leave him.
“So, I don’t suppose you want to want music videos of Mariah Carey like Tina or Mercedes would, so do you want to play Xbox?”
Puck seemed impressed. “You have an Xbox? What games do you have?”
They settled on Guitar Hero, even though Puck didn’t attempt to hide his disappointment not to find Halo 3 among Kurt’s collection. (“How can you have Halo 2 and not Halo 3?”) Kurt was pleased to find that the common statement about guitar players and Guitar Hero was true. He flat out schooled Puck, much to the jock’s embarrassment.
“I still think you cheated.”
“You wish. I just have more dexterous fingers than you.”
Puck stuck out his tongue at Kurt. “You therefore have an advantage. I should have a handicap. You know, like in golf.”
Kurt just rolled his eyes. “I’m going to grab a drink? You thirsty?”
Puck shrugged, but followed Kurt upstairs to the kitchen. Kurt chose out a Smart Water (because not only was water excellent for the skin, Smart Water helped kids, and all the divas drank it), while Puck opted for a Mountain Dew. Could he have picked a drink more likely to induce sugar comas and heart attacks? Upon spying a can of Red Bull, Kurt decided that he indeed could.
After a few hours more of video games (this time Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2-proof that Kurt did indeed own new version of awesome war games), Puck went to leave, sure that his mom would be home from work soon and insisting that a few blocks was fine to walk.
“Thanks though, Hummel. I really needed this today.” He paused. “You’re actually not too bad, even if you are totally gay.”
Kurt sighed. He supposed that would have to count as a compliment. “You’re welcome, Puck. Just remember, you owe me one.”
Puck nodded solemnly. As he went to leave, he paused. “Kurt?”
Kurt tried and failed to show no reaction to the use of his first name. Frankly, he was shocked Puck even remembered it. “Yes?”
“Are you doing anything tomorrow? Because unlike you, I own Halo 3 and could totally kick your ass on it.”
“Um, no I don’t have plans.” Kurt realized that Puck was inviting him to hang out again. “At your place?”
“Sure. Just ignore my mom when she asks you if you’re Jewish or tries to make me watch Schindler’s List with her.”
Right. Tomorrow was Saturday. “I guess I could swing by. What time is good?”
“How about two? I like to sleep late.”
“Okay.”
After that, a routine of sorts began. Saturdays were dedicated to Xbox sessions at Puck’s, while Wednesday nights became pizza and board games at Kurt’s. Kurt had tried to institute karaoke night, but as they didn’t have the same taste in music, that was put on a backburner.
Kurt learned that Puck’s mom was nice if a little weird. (She constantly asked him about his German heritage, but Kurt constantly assured her that his family had been in the United States since before World War I.) Puck had even survived Burt Hummel.
“Is he your boyfriend?” he asked one day after Puck left.
“What?” Kurt blushed scarlet. “No. Most definitely not.”
“Oh,” Burt had replied, sounding a tad disappointed. “I like him.” That was the closest his dad was ever going to get to describing boys, Kurt realized. If only it were about Finn or Adam Lambert or the various other boys of Kurt’s fantasies.
The routine continued for over a month before Kurt realized that he and Puck were friends. It was rather strange to come to that conclusion. After all, this was the same boy that had shoved Kurt into lockers, tossed him into dumpsters, and overall made his life rather more difficult than it should be. Of course, Puck wasn’t incredibly popular now either. The football team wasn’t talking to him. Even though Finn was king of the Gleeks, Quinn was his girl, and you just had to stand up for him when his best friend knocked her up. So Puck had found himself shoved into quite a few lockers himself. Well, if it took a drastic ride down the social ladder for Kurt to make another friend, so be it. He had come to genuinely like Puck, and he had to admit that the boy was both tan and rather buff. He enjoyed looking at him, even if he couldn’t touch. Hey, he was in Lima for God’s sake. All he could do was look, so Kurt was going to make the best of it.
Everything was going rather well until the night of Brittany’s party. Brittany was turning seventeen and invited everyone from all her various social cliques. The girl had no sense that Cheerios, Jocks, Gleeks, and the special ed kids just did not hang out together. So Kurt and Puck had found themselves in a house full of people they didn’t like and who didn’t like them. Kurt had spent most of the night trying to hide from Karofsky and other various mean jocks who might be tempted to bash his head in, especially with the preponderance of alcohol being passed around. The alcohol had made Kurt himself feel a bit tipsy. After the April incident (and barfing on Miss Pillsbury’s shoes), Kurt realized that he was a lightweight and tried to run screaming from any alcohol. Of course, he hadn’t realized that the punch was spiked with whisky or some other hard liquor until he was two or three cups of it in. Now he tingled pleasantly and everyone and everything looked freaking amazing.
After giggling over something completely not funny that Puck said, the jock finally caught on.
“You’re completely smashed aren’t you, Kurt?”
“I’m just buzzed,” Kurt stated, but the way he swayed to his left belied him. “Okay, maybe I’ve had a bit too much. Someone put something really strong in the punch.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it was Jack Daniels.” Puck watched Kurt sway again. “Come on lightweight, let’s take you home. Can’t have you repeating what happened last time.”
“I am not about to throw up, I’ll have you know! I’m just probably about to fall down.”
“Hmm. Cause that’s so much better.”
Puck held Kurt up by his armpits and basically dragged the smaller boy out to the Navigator. “Keys?”
Kurt fumbled for them for a few minutes before realizing his coordination was too far gone. “They’re in my pocket.”
Puck frowned, but nonetheless reached into Kurt’s pocket to dig them out. Kurt squealed as apparently Puck had found a ticklish spot, and jerked to the side, which had unexpected results of its own. Kurt suddenly found Puck’s hand touching a part of him that neither of them had expected. Worse, he kind of liked it. Okay, he really liked it. Come on, it wasn’t like he was getting much action in that department.
“Got the keys,” Puck declared, his voice about an octave higher than usual, and quickly moved to unlock the car and slide Kurt in the passenger seat.
Kurt turned a rather remarkable shade of purple, completely embarrassed to find himself hard. His mind kept trying to tell his body that it was just Puck, but his body sensed a hot male and could not be persuaded to be disinterested. This was it. Puck would freak out on him and go back to shoving him into lockers. Kurt knew that everyone had always known he was gay long before he bothered to be honest to people about it, but being so obviously confronted with it was a completely different story.
When they managed to stumble to the door of Kurt’s bachelor pad of sorts, while Puck fumbled for the correct key, Kurt made a decision. It was stupid and hasty, but if this was the last he’d see of the other boy, he would make it count. He shoved Puck against the door and smashed their lips together. He expected a shove or punch at any moment, but that was fine. No risk, no reward right? But he got neither. Instead, Puck moaned and deepened the kiss, coaxing Kurt’s mouth open, then plundering it with his tongue. Now Kurt was shocked, but this was his first kiss and damn if he wasn’t going to enjoy it.
What happened next was only because Kurt was drunk. He was not easy. He had always sworn that he would make the boys work hard for a piece of his ass. However, when Puck managed to open the door and quickly pushed Kurt towards the bed, his hormones overweighed all his sense and he quickly found himself in a state of undress, moaning while Puck touched every bit of him with his hands, then his lips and teeth. In rather quick fashion, he found himself flipped onto his stomach, his ass up in the air.
“Do you have anything?” Puck hissed in his ear as he slid down his zipper.
“Under the bed,” Kurt murmured, unable to quite believe that yes, he was about to do this. With Puck of all people.
He heard Puck rattle around in the shoebox underneath his bed before finding the bottle of lube and a foil wrapped condom. Kurt tensed when he felt a slick finger slide into him. It felt so different from his own. Callused and bigger and rather amazing. He got even harder, a feat he had previously thought impossible. When another finger joined it, Kurt was moaning like some kind of cheap whore, but he couldn’t find himself to care. He was a teenage boy and he had needs, damn it!
“Please, Puck, I need more,” he begged. This wasn’t enough. When the fingers slid out of him, he sighed in loss, but when he felt a latex covered cock at his entrance, he tensed in anticipation. This was it. The main event.
“Relax,” Puck hissed, then began to push in him.
Ow. Ow. Ow. Shit, Kurt had read it would hurt, but suddenly his erection disappeared. This was not pleasurable. This was supposed to feel good right?
“Relax, Kurt,” Puck demanded. “Fuck, you’re so tight.”
Kurt did his best. He breathed slowly through his nose and concentrated on being calm and collected, a difficult feat considering that he had a dick up his ass. Finally, he felt his body relax, and Puck was able to slide home even more. Kurt sighed. Now he just felt full. The pain lessened, and he sighed in relief. Puck took this as his cue to begin moving.
Kurt felt his eyes cross. This, this was what all the fuss was about. Between the pleasure and the alcohol, Kurt felt like he was floating. Then Puck hit something inside him, and Kurt found himself coming all over the sheets. Before he could begin to be embarrassed at the speed of it, though, Puck grunted and gave one last thrust into him.
The two of them laid there boneless, sweaty, and panting. After a few minutes, Puck pulled out, and Kurt nearly cried out at the sense of loss. Then he waited. Waited for the punch or the shove or the yelling. Instead, Puck flopped down beside him.
“Holy hell, Kurt. Can we do that again sometime?”
And so their rather strange relationship began. The video games and talking continued, but now there were stolen kisses under the bleachers, handjobs in the back of the car, and sex in Kurt’s bed. It was always the same. Kurt was on his stomach with Puck behind him. Then they could both pretend, because Puck wanted Quinn and Kurt wanted Finn. Kurt did want Finn, didn’t he? Sometimes he couldn’t remember, but he could always remember that this was just sex. Honestly who the hell else would sleep with him in Lima anyway?
Not that Kurt told anyone. Who the hell would he tell? His dad would go psycho and probably try to murder Puck, and that would throw a wrench into his plans. Mercedes would lecture him about self respect, and then look at him with that pitying glance. Rachel would tell the whole glee club, and before Kurt knew it that Israel kid would know and alert the whole school. Finn would not be interested in him again, because he never got back together with Quinn. Once he found out Puck had touched her, he was no longer interested obviously. (Kurt’s mind often tried to tell him it was the whole betrayal thing, but when it came to feelings Kurt just couldn’t be objective.)
It was a strange relationship, but it worked for both of them. Puck would sometimes talk about his progress with Quinn about the baby and how he wanted to keep his daughter from being adopted away somewhere where he would never see her, Kurt’s opinion that he was just a surrogate was solidified. Puck couldn’t have Quinn and the baby, but he could have Kurt. After all, Kurt was the biggest queen in the school, and no one else was fighting over him. Puck could monopolize his attention.
All good things come to an end, though, and so it started. One day they mixed things up in bed. Puck never flipped Kurt onto his stomach, but entered him while Kurt lay on his back, allowing them to look in each others’ eyes with every thrust. It was strangely intimate, and Kurt was stunned to find that it turned it on more than anything else. He watched the darkening of Puck’s eyes, the rippling of his muscles, and the sheen of his sweat, the look of pleasure on his face. It was beautiful, and Kurt couldn’t believe that he had missed this the whole time and never even longed to see it. When he came between them he cried out Puck’s name. First name.
“Noah!” he said breathlessly.
Puck soon followed him, but the two looked at each other in shock. This couldn’t be intimate like this. This was just sex, right? Puck was waiting for Quinn to stop being so hormonal and bitchy while Kurt was waiting for Finn to realize that he was fierce and wonderful and yes Finn really did like boys. This ruined it all.
Puck grabbed Kurt’s arm and shook him. “Don’t call me that. This is just sex. I don’t want you. We’re not dating. We’re not going to live happily ever after. I’m not gay. I’m just waiting for Quinn, and you are the only one offering any action. Got it, Hummel?”
Oh no. The return of the last name. Kurt could play that game too. “Of course this is just sex, Puckerman. I would never consider dating someone with such a hideous haircut that wears shoes he bought on the clearance rack at Walmart.”
“Fine. Stay away from me. I’m sure there are some lonely cougars around somewhere.”
“Good riddance,” Kurt sniped as he watched Puck pull on his clothes. He stomped out and slammed the door behind him. “Good riddance,” he whispered, and tried desperately to mean it.
For three weeks, the two boys didn’t talk. They managed to get through glee with as little interaction as possible, sitting on opposite sides of the room. They avoided each other in the halls. The video games and hanging out stopped completely. No one really seemed to notice anything. No one but Burt Hummel.
“Kurt, what’s wrong? Is it a glee club thing again? Do I need to go threaten to sue the school or something?” he asked one afternoon while Kurt helped him in the garage. He helped out a lot more now. It was a good distraction.
“No Dad,” he sighed. “Glee club is fine. It’s actually…more of a boy thing.”
Burt frowned. “Does it have something to do with the fact that I don’t see that Mohawk kid around here anymore?”
Kurt could have sworn that his heart was beating out of his chest. “Maybe.”
“Did you like,” Burt gulped. “Make out with him and stuff?”
Kurt felt his eyes well up with tears and wanted to punch himself in the face. He would not let Noah Puckerman upset him. The boy was a first class jerk. “And stuff, yeah.”
Burt paused. “So the two of you got into a fight?”
Kurt nodded. “It wasn’t supposed to be anything, you know? Just like friends with benefits, but…” he sighed. “I kind of fell for him, Dad.”
“What the hell do you mean friends with benefits? I’ll rip out his throat! Doesn’t he live a couple of blocks down?” He looked around as if trying to find something that would inflict the most damage.
Kurt grabbed his dad’s arm. “Dad, don’t do anything stupid. It wasn’t his fault. I kind of initiated it. I didn’t even like him like that, honestly. I’ve had a crush on Finn Hudson for years now.”
“The quarterback?”
“Yeah. He’s not very smart, but he’s pretty. I always liked pretty. When did I decide to like buff jerks?” Kurt noticed that his dad did not look happy with this direction of the discussion. “Listen Dad, don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it. Everyone has to have their first broken heart. I’ve only got a few more years here, then I can move off to New York or LA and find plenty of pretty gay boys that will love me for who I am.”
That didn’t stop Kurt from sitting in his room listening to every sad song on his iPod while weeping silently. This sucked. Why did the songs always romanticize heart break? He felt like breaking something and screaming at himself for not recognizing the boundary that came with the type of relationship he and Puck had.
With the volume of his iPod at full blast, it took Kurt longer than it should have for him to hear the gentle knocking on his door. He wiped his tears off with the back of his hand and turned off his iPod. He checked his face in the mirror and frowned. His eyes were bloodshot, and his face was blotchy and red. Great, he looked like a train wreck. With a deep breath, he threw open the door. It was Puck. He almost slammed the door closed in his face. How dare he come now, especially when Kurt looked so awful?
“Hey. Just give me a minute, okay? You don’t even have to let me in.”
“One minute. Go.”
Puck sighed. “I’m sorry okay. I…I just didn’t know what to do, you know? I’m not gay. I’m not drooling all over Finn or Adam Lambert or Matt or Mike or any of that shit. It was supposed to be sex with a friend, you know. Just a bit of fun and the relief of some sexual tension. When it wasn’t anymore, I just couldn’t, you know, take it. I was scared.”
Kurt nodded. He completely understood. He was still angry at himself.
“I didn’t mean any of what I said to you. I like you Kurt. You’re fun to be around, you don’t judge me, and you’re awesome in bed. I don’t really understand how that happened, but I just know that I don’t want this to end. And I don’t want Quinn anymore. She lied to me and Finn, and I’ve had enough people lie to me. I’d rather be with you.”
Kurt felt his jaw drop. Surely he was hearing something. There was no way that this was Puck.
“But I’m not taking you to homecoming or carrying your books to class or any of that gay shit, okay? That is not me, and if you want that, tough.”
Nope. This was Puck. If Kurt could have Puck, if Kurt could have Noah, he found that he didn’t really want homecoming or any of that really romantic stuff.
“Okay,” Kurt said, and pulled Puck in for a kiss. As Puck came in and pushed Kurt onto the bed, Kurt thought to tell him something.
“Oh, by the way, my dad knows about us.”
“What?”