Paranoia, you suck
I hate being paranoid. seriously, what is it that makes me so. maybe it's a deep rooted low sense of self? I don't really see myself as that bad.
Sometimes I feel its just the subconscious nudge from observations that I consciously didn't recognize or choose to ignore. But then I think that's the paranoia talking anyway.
The thing is, from all that I've ever experienced, probably about half to two thirds of my paranoia has actually proven to be correct. Therefore it's not paranoia.
so how do i train myself to decipher between the paranoia and keen observations?
Ironically, overall I'm an optimist when it comes to the world and people. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt, until proven otherwise (and often well beyond that point). But paranoia is more a manifestation of a pessimistic approach. A lack of trust; inherent belief that others will hurt and lie and betray. The world truly can be, and often is, a very cruel place. I'm sure there's at least a couple paradoxes in there.
I wish I could just untangle all the threads of my life and sort them out.
Sometimes I feel its just the subconscious nudge from observations that I consciously didn't recognize or choose to ignore. But then I think that's the paranoia talking anyway.
The thing is, from all that I've ever experienced, probably about half to two thirds of my paranoia has actually proven to be correct. Therefore it's not paranoia.
so how do i train myself to decipher between the paranoia and keen observations?
Ironically, overall I'm an optimist when it comes to the world and people. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt, until proven otherwise (and often well beyond that point). But paranoia is more a manifestation of a pessimistic approach. A lack of trust; inherent belief that others will hurt and lie and betray. The world truly can be, and often is, a very cruel place. I'm sure there's at least a couple paradoxes in there.
I wish I could just untangle all the threads of my life and sort them out.