(no subject)
Hear the rain fall. It hits the cold concrete continuously. Focus on the small droplets that adhere themselves to the opposite side of the window. They struggle for their existence as they’re dragged along the glass. Inevitably, they fall below into a puddle. Mirror images of each other. Never to be distinguished again.
Exhale. Not too loudly.
Look over at him. He’s sleeping. Let your eyes float down the length of his body. Look away, frantically. Search for something (anything) more alluring. Estimable of your affectionate gaze. Nothing. There is nothing.
Eyes begin to cloud like a heavy fog over a lake in the beginning stages of winter. Struggle for focus. Give up.
His hands press against your cheeks. They’re cold, sending a sting to your ears. A chill that quickly crawls from the small of your back, up to the tiny hairs on your neck, using the knots in your spine as a staircase. His hands feel painfully comforting. His eyes explore yours rapidly, as if searching for a quote in the depths of his favorite book. Anticipate the moment he identifies whatever it is he’s looking for.
He kisses you. It will deep fry your brain and unravel your heart. It will sink into your stomach and plant itself between your ribs. It will lock itself there like a prisoner. It will intimidate you. The foundation of independence you pride yourself on will crumble. Pretend to be hesitant. You’ve never been more certain.
Inhale, deeply. Catch your breath.
Sight adjusts. Reality is now in focus. What was distinct is now hazy. Look over again. He’s still sleeping. Silently ask the questions you’ve never found the words to ask. Why do you have to ask so many questions? Rephrase. Don’t question everything. Soft whimpers of defeat overflow your bloodstream and drown your heart. Limp and conquered, keep looking. Search for something that isn’t there. Intensify your sorrow.
You’re not an indistinguishable raindrop. Learn to be grateful.
Exhale. Not too loudly.
Look over at him. He’s sleeping. Let your eyes float down the length of his body. Look away, frantically. Search for something (anything) more alluring. Estimable of your affectionate gaze. Nothing. There is nothing.
Eyes begin to cloud like a heavy fog over a lake in the beginning stages of winter. Struggle for focus. Give up.
His hands press against your cheeks. They’re cold, sending a sting to your ears. A chill that quickly crawls from the small of your back, up to the tiny hairs on your neck, using the knots in your spine as a staircase. His hands feel painfully comforting. His eyes explore yours rapidly, as if searching for a quote in the depths of his favorite book. Anticipate the moment he identifies whatever it is he’s looking for.
He kisses you. It will deep fry your brain and unravel your heart. It will sink into your stomach and plant itself between your ribs. It will lock itself there like a prisoner. It will intimidate you. The foundation of independence you pride yourself on will crumble. Pretend to be hesitant. You’ve never been more certain.
Inhale, deeply. Catch your breath.
Sight adjusts. Reality is now in focus. What was distinct is now hazy. Look over again. He’s still sleeping. Silently ask the questions you’ve never found the words to ask. Why do you have to ask so many questions? Rephrase. Don’t question everything. Soft whimpers of defeat overflow your bloodstream and drown your heart. Limp and conquered, keep looking. Search for something that isn’t there. Intensify your sorrow.
You’re not an indistinguishable raindrop. Learn to be grateful.