im sad
hey.. well.. here's my past 2 days.. yesterday, randy (my ex-boyfriend) woke me up.. he called me at like 11:30.. and i went to bed late talkin to chris online so thats why i slept in so late.. so he tells me "heidi told me yesterday that you were jealous of me and holli in the pool".. i was thinkin "thanks a bunch heidi" (sarcastically).. so i told him.. i was like "yeah i kinda was but i dunno why since i broke up with you.. just forget about it".. but we kinda have this bet.. i said to him "i bet by the end of this summer you and holli will be dating".. he doesnt think they will.. i dunno what we're bettin yet.. i havent thought about it.. im possed to call him when i have an idea.. so if you can think of a good thing to bet on tell me.. so we just talked for like a half hour and then i started cleanin my house.. i cleaned the kitchen and living room.. without even being told.. can you believe it? i cant.. so then i go to my dads house bc its his weekend.. he and heidi were workin all day so i was by myself but when i pulled into my dads apartment, bryan (stacy's boyfriend.. about to be ex-bofriend) said he was about to go swimmin and i wanted to so we went swimmin.. he's soooooo nice yall.. omgoodness. he told me stuff that he hasnt told anyone before and he took me to mcdonalds.. i dunno.. he's the nicest guy ive ever met.. he doesnt judge grils at all.. he's sensitive and romantic.. like for stacy and his first date, he took her for a walk on the beach.. i would love for my bf to take me to the beach.. but anyway.. then i had to babysit at 7:30.. one of the girls i bbsat stayed up till 1:30 bc she wanted to stay up till her mom got home.. but she fell asleep like 10 minutes before her mom got home.. well, i dont feel safe fallin asleep when all the kids arent asleep in case they need somethin.. so i was talkin to barney on the phone all night.. yeah.. he's still datin heidi.. but i shouldnt call it datin bc again, they havent talked in like 4 days.. sooo.. today it was just me and my dad.. we went to the st martin soccer fields and practiced a lil soccer.. mann, im outta shape.. i got tired so fast.. but he kept pushin me to do more.. so i did.. it was fun.. then i went home and went to church.. now im at my moms house alone.. but the reason that im sad is bc i havent talked to lindsay practically all summer long.. i just read her journal online which i havent done in a long time.. and i got upset readin about how close she is with her friends from church.. she's always hangin out with them and i think that is great.. i wish i spent more time with her this summer.. its my fault though.. i drive and i could go and visit her.. but i tried one day and she said she was busy for a couple of weeks.. and i never called her back.. i do need to call her more often.. but it just made me realize that im a bad friend.. all of lindsay's journal entries has something in it about rhea, elizabeth, or jessica.. and i think that is awesome to be close to 3 friends and always hang out with them like that.. i guess what im sayin is that im jealous.. i think lindsay totally forgot about me.. she's havin too much fun with her other friends.. and i seriously thought that i was her best friend.. but i read a journal entry of hers that said that rhea was her best friend.. which i now know that they are so much closer that her and i.. but i cant blame her.. gosh.. im cryin just thinkin about it.. im such a bad friend.. im gonna go now.. i need to get an early nights sleep.. and i know lindsay is gonna read this.. sorry if anything made you upset.. oh, and sorry im such an awful friend.. bye