read it all
i'm crying.
i'm crying because i feel alone.
I'm crying because i can't keep my mother from killing herself.
i'm crying because you don't care what you say to me.
i'm crying because you hurt me over and over again.
i'm crying because you want other girls.
i'm crying because i don't want other guys.
i feel stupid.
incompetent.
a failure.
i've been turned inside out.
don't touch me.
stop caring.
i can't even write anymore.
and drugs?
god, i wish i hadn't given them up.
maybe then i could forget you like you forget me.
i never wanted to be your barbie doll.
and no one's perfect.
but by God and i'm fucking tired of being unable to talk to you with you flipping shit.
you can be so sweet, so mature, so kind-hearted and understanding.
and then the next minute... rejection... vendictive spats... rubbing the fact that
we're not together and that you're not inlove with me.
so believe me... i'm looking. just like you are. maybe there's someone else out there for me.
someone who KNOWS FOR SURE they want me.
and i'll give myself to him. i'll make him happy
the way i would have made you happy.
i honestly don't think you really know what you're missing out on with me. and to be honest, i don't care anymore. my breasts hurt. my head hurts. my face is raw. my heart is irreparable. and i never see, talk, or touch you.so what's the point christopher? why do you always hand me a peice of thread to hang onto. things like "you're my everything" and "don't let go of me." or better yet "there could still be a future. you have my heart back."
i don't think i'm the one that should be questioned when it comes to trust anymore. i think it's you. i never know what to believe. and frankly, i'm fucking sick of it. i'm trying to get the fuck away from here before i waste my life away and finally just off myself.
bring me close or let me loose. because even though i said i'd wait forever... no one knows how long forever will be.
take a chance. make mistakes. get messy. go heart first. then let the rest of you catch up.
"Never leave the one you love for the one you like becase the one you like will leave you for the one they love."
i'm crying because i feel alone.
I'm crying because i can't keep my mother from killing herself.
i'm crying because you don't care what you say to me.
i'm crying because you hurt me over and over again.
i'm crying because you want other girls.
i'm crying because i don't want other guys.
i feel stupid.
incompetent.
a failure.
i've been turned inside out.
don't touch me.
stop caring.
i can't even write anymore.
and drugs?
god, i wish i hadn't given them up.
maybe then i could forget you like you forget me.
i never wanted to be your barbie doll.
and no one's perfect.
but by God and i'm fucking tired of being unable to talk to you with you flipping shit.
you can be so sweet, so mature, so kind-hearted and understanding.
and then the next minute... rejection... vendictive spats... rubbing the fact that
we're not together and that you're not inlove with me.
so believe me... i'm looking. just like you are. maybe there's someone else out there for me.
someone who KNOWS FOR SURE they want me.
and i'll give myself to him. i'll make him happy
the way i would have made you happy.
i honestly don't think you really know what you're missing out on with me. and to be honest, i don't care anymore. my breasts hurt. my head hurts. my face is raw. my heart is irreparable. and i never see, talk, or touch you.so what's the point christopher? why do you always hand me a peice of thread to hang onto. things like "you're my everything" and "don't let go of me." or better yet "there could still be a future. you have my heart back."
i don't think i'm the one that should be questioned when it comes to trust anymore. i think it's you. i never know what to believe. and frankly, i'm fucking sick of it. i'm trying to get the fuck away from here before i waste my life away and finally just off myself.
bring me close or let me loose. because even though i said i'd wait forever... no one knows how long forever will be.
take a chance. make mistakes. get messy. go heart first. then let the rest of you catch up.
"Never leave the one you love for the one you like becase the one you like will leave you for the one they love."