It's been a while.
I think it's been like a year since i've written in here haha. But I figure i am snowed in and have a lot of thoughts in my bed so yah mine as well write them out.
Hm so idk when i last updated but fall semester of classes is over. Finally. This was suppose to be my fun semester because i took all classes that interested me haha next semester is all mandatory classes. It's like i am already in my major classes and i am having doubts about my major. Like why i didn't major in business or why i didn't pursue nursing...but i guess that's life. Maybe if i can find some internships things will be better.
I just don't want to waste four years of my life, you know.
I am having feelings after college i am going to have to go get certified in something whether it be paralegal, radiology, or medical transcripting. Who knows, I guess I will continue to play life by ear.
As many already know, I am having heart surgery on Tuesday. I am not going to lie, I am scared out of my brains. It's weird because one second I'll be balling about it because I am so afraid but two seconds later i will be like what am i crying about, everything's going to be OK. everyone says it's not a big deal and it's going to be ok and ya ya ya but one it's easy to say when it's not happening to you and two what are you suppose to say 'everythings not ok, its going to be awful.' ya right.
Idk i guess i just never have had surgery before and i somehow was able to block it out of my mind until the day b4 the day b4 my surgery. Tmrw i have to go there and get blood drawn and a physical and usually the blood drawn part would freak me out but knowing that i HAVE TO BE AWAKE during heart surgery sort of overrides that. So basically tmrws visit is going to be like going to chucky cheeses compared to tuesday.
I have the right to be afraid but now that i think about it, everyone would be afraid b4 any surgery, i mean who gets excited for surgery?
That's insane. I am just going to keep thinking everythings going to be ok because 999 to 1 it will be. So yah.
I guess the odds are in my favor.
But they always make clear complications do occur...but i dont want to sign a form that says i consent to the possibility of dying or the possibility of any kind of complication because i dont but it's like i have to otherwise they won't do it but just for the record i DONT consent.
But who does.
so yah onward
i am in love with one tree hill now cause i watched the first season but i don't own the other seasons, i dont even own the first one i had just borrowed it. so ya i want the other seasons to atleast watch.
speaking of which i had a job oct-nov but i quit. it was waitressing again. i guess i forgot how much waitressing sucked from b4 and thought i could do it again but it's just too stressful and u do too much for what u get paid.
and yah.
wasn't worth it.
so i have no money and i don't care.
cuz it's better than waitressing.
I can't believe i am already almost a junior in college.
I can't believe christmas is in just a lil over a week.
I am excited for christmas now just because it means my surgery will be over.
a part of me is excited for my surgery to get it over with and maybe fix my heart because my heart is always doing weird things. I don't understand why the ablation is necessary but the doctors seem to think it is and they know much more than i do.
my laptop sucks but that's ok.
I love my family so much. and I love my friends so much. You have no idea.
There is like 15 inches of snow outside.
I think i've ranted enough:)
Hm so idk when i last updated but fall semester of classes is over. Finally. This was suppose to be my fun semester because i took all classes that interested me haha next semester is all mandatory classes. It's like i am already in my major classes and i am having doubts about my major. Like why i didn't major in business or why i didn't pursue nursing...but i guess that's life. Maybe if i can find some internships things will be better.
I just don't want to waste four years of my life, you know.
I am having feelings after college i am going to have to go get certified in something whether it be paralegal, radiology, or medical transcripting. Who knows, I guess I will continue to play life by ear.
As many already know, I am having heart surgery on Tuesday. I am not going to lie, I am scared out of my brains. It's weird because one second I'll be balling about it because I am so afraid but two seconds later i will be like what am i crying about, everything's going to be OK. everyone says it's not a big deal and it's going to be ok and ya ya ya but one it's easy to say when it's not happening to you and two what are you suppose to say 'everythings not ok, its going to be awful.' ya right.
Idk i guess i just never have had surgery before and i somehow was able to block it out of my mind until the day b4 the day b4 my surgery. Tmrw i have to go there and get blood drawn and a physical and usually the blood drawn part would freak me out but knowing that i HAVE TO BE AWAKE during heart surgery sort of overrides that. So basically tmrws visit is going to be like going to chucky cheeses compared to tuesday.
I have the right to be afraid but now that i think about it, everyone would be afraid b4 any surgery, i mean who gets excited for surgery?
That's insane. I am just going to keep thinking everythings going to be ok because 999 to 1 it will be. So yah.
I guess the odds are in my favor.
But they always make clear complications do occur...but i dont want to sign a form that says i consent to the possibility of dying or the possibility of any kind of complication because i dont but it's like i have to otherwise they won't do it but just for the record i DONT consent.
But who does.
so yah onward
i am in love with one tree hill now cause i watched the first season but i don't own the other seasons, i dont even own the first one i had just borrowed it. so ya i want the other seasons to atleast watch.
speaking of which i had a job oct-nov but i quit. it was waitressing again. i guess i forgot how much waitressing sucked from b4 and thought i could do it again but it's just too stressful and u do too much for what u get paid.
and yah.
wasn't worth it.
so i have no money and i don't care.
cuz it's better than waitressing.
I can't believe i am already almost a junior in college.
I can't believe christmas is in just a lil over a week.
I am excited for christmas now just because it means my surgery will be over.
a part of me is excited for my surgery to get it over with and maybe fix my heart because my heart is always doing weird things. I don't understand why the ablation is necessary but the doctors seem to think it is and they know much more than i do.
my laptop sucks but that's ok.
I love my family so much. and I love my friends so much. You have no idea.
There is like 15 inches of snow outside.
I think i've ranted enough:)