could you be loved?
i'm in new york fuckin' city.
today i went to visit my sister teaching and WOW... she is one strong motherfucker... most people would kill themselves after one day. I was with the kids for 3.5 hours and at times I had to take it upon myself to get the kids to shut the hell up or stop fighting or tattle taling or get off the floor ETC ETC ETC... it was 27 first graders and they all have issues (literally). She's already had to file an abuse report against some parents and a lot of them can barely read and write. I helped some of them with spelling and reading and that felt amazing. I basically loved all of them but wanted to throw some of them into a cage.
damn this is my break but for some reason I'm really stressed. It's just I feel like I NEED to be productive everyday. I have to take care of some financial aid stuff, making travel plans is stressful (not being a brat it's just gotten complicated) the possibility of working (parttime office job at Columbia Presbysterian?) I feel like the things that are going to happen that are supposed to be fun have just gotten stressful. I know I have SERIOUS PROBLEMS. i should be freaking out with excitement, what is wrong with me? oh and i only saw my mom for a few hours last night so far and she already really annoyed me and her INTENSE FUCKING HIGH MAINTENANCE PERSONALITY IS REALLY PROBLEMATIC TO ME. bla bla bla
i started reading Muhammad: a biography of the Prophet because I never had the time to finish it until now. i really love it but i keep wanting to turn on the tv and then i hate myself for wanting to. i'm in love with the lifetime movie network and i have NO SHAME.
yeah sorry i can't stop complaining, guess i should find a therapist for that huh.
CAN'T WAIT TO SEE ALL MY BUDDIES IN NEW YORK!!! (and those in connecticut, etC)
PS Let me know if anyone wants to bitch with me about bush's encouragement of the use of standardized testing in schools as a way to measure ability (intelligence). k great thanks.
today i went to visit my sister teaching and WOW... she is one strong motherfucker... most people would kill themselves after one day. I was with the kids for 3.5 hours and at times I had to take it upon myself to get the kids to shut the hell up or stop fighting or tattle taling or get off the floor ETC ETC ETC... it was 27 first graders and they all have issues (literally). She's already had to file an abuse report against some parents and a lot of them can barely read and write. I helped some of them with spelling and reading and that felt amazing. I basically loved all of them but wanted to throw some of them into a cage.
damn this is my break but for some reason I'm really stressed. It's just I feel like I NEED to be productive everyday. I have to take care of some financial aid stuff, making travel plans is stressful (not being a brat it's just gotten complicated) the possibility of working (parttime office job at Columbia Presbysterian?) I feel like the things that are going to happen that are supposed to be fun have just gotten stressful. I know I have SERIOUS PROBLEMS. i should be freaking out with excitement, what is wrong with me? oh and i only saw my mom for a few hours last night so far and she already really annoyed me and her INTENSE FUCKING HIGH MAINTENANCE PERSONALITY IS REALLY PROBLEMATIC TO ME. bla bla bla
i started reading Muhammad: a biography of the Prophet because I never had the time to finish it until now. i really love it but i keep wanting to turn on the tv and then i hate myself for wanting to. i'm in love with the lifetime movie network and i have NO SHAME.
yeah sorry i can't stop complaining, guess i should find a therapist for that huh.
CAN'T WAIT TO SEE ALL MY BUDDIES IN NEW YORK!!! (and those in connecticut, etC)
PS Let me know if anyone wants to bitch with me about bush's encouragement of the use of standardized testing in schools as a way to measure ability (intelligence). k great thanks.