here's to clearing my mind.
i havent updated in awhile.
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nothing seems clear cut anymore. ive been doing a lot of soul searching again and it's come to my attention that nothing in life is a given. i guess ive been laying back through life recently just letting it come as it should. or at least as i think it should. but now i feel like im going about things the wrong way. ive been living life with the mentality that things will present themselves specifically when it should. i dont really know how to explain since i believe in destiny while simultaneously believeing in creating your own path. but this is how my mind splits. i guess what im really trying to get at is that i used to think that i'd meet someone, fall in love, get married, and have kids while maintaining a successful occupation as a veteranarian, and even before that getting through school and graduate school. i see those things in life as a given. or at least i did until after today. i dont know what it was but, whatever derailed that train of thought has given me some new profound perspective of life. and it's that nothing in life is a given. life doesnt give you anything but chances. and the hardest part, or the easiest part of it all is that all we need to do is decide. risk or pass. all or nothing. yes or no. you have go out and find what you want, what you need, what will satisfy your thirst in life. maybe the person you're meant to be with will present themselves, but whose to say you're not supposed to go and look for them? and having a dream isnt the same as living it. i guess ive been in love with the idea of going with the flow. seeing where life will lead me along. seeing what chances will come along. but what's wrong with my whole outlook is that, i look at things so ideally, and i look at things as so final, that i scare myself because it's like i only got one shot, that one chance, and i could just let it pass me by if i let it. sometimes i look at my curriculum sheet with all the classes listed necessary for my major, and every time, my eyes widen and i'm like "damn...". i always wonder if i can actually do the things i put upon myself. and my conclusion is that, if i want it bad enough, i will. i do scare myself, and it's dumb because who's to say that you only get one chance? you may only get one life, but who's to say that if an opportunity passes you by that you can't turn around, walk against the current and try your best to take hold of what you missed.
my mind is cluttered with clashing thoughts and rambling arguments. and i apologize.
i almost feel this update was pointless since i can counter myself in every point i bring up, but i guess this is my way of getting it out of my mind and move on to things more important at the moment.
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take every chance you get, and you won't regret it.
im almost certain that you will contemplate more about the chances you didnt take playing it safe,
than the ones you took and learned from whatever the outcome.
mind you though, dont be stupid.
--------------------
VIBE XIII this weekend. =]
---------
nothing seems clear cut anymore. ive been doing a lot of soul searching again and it's come to my attention that nothing in life is a given. i guess ive been laying back through life recently just letting it come as it should. or at least as i think it should. but now i feel like im going about things the wrong way. ive been living life with the mentality that things will present themselves specifically when it should. i dont really know how to explain since i believe in destiny while simultaneously believeing in creating your own path. but this is how my mind splits. i guess what im really trying to get at is that i used to think that i'd meet someone, fall in love, get married, and have kids while maintaining a successful occupation as a veteranarian, and even before that getting through school and graduate school. i see those things in life as a given. or at least i did until after today. i dont know what it was but, whatever derailed that train of thought has given me some new profound perspective of life. and it's that nothing in life is a given. life doesnt give you anything but chances. and the hardest part, or the easiest part of it all is that all we need to do is decide. risk or pass. all or nothing. yes or no. you have go out and find what you want, what you need, what will satisfy your thirst in life. maybe the person you're meant to be with will present themselves, but whose to say you're not supposed to go and look for them? and having a dream isnt the same as living it. i guess ive been in love with the idea of going with the flow. seeing where life will lead me along. seeing what chances will come along. but what's wrong with my whole outlook is that, i look at things so ideally, and i look at things as so final, that i scare myself because it's like i only got one shot, that one chance, and i could just let it pass me by if i let it. sometimes i look at my curriculum sheet with all the classes listed necessary for my major, and every time, my eyes widen and i'm like "damn...". i always wonder if i can actually do the things i put upon myself. and my conclusion is that, if i want it bad enough, i will. i do scare myself, and it's dumb because who's to say that you only get one chance? you may only get one life, but who's to say that if an opportunity passes you by that you can't turn around, walk against the current and try your best to take hold of what you missed.
my mind is cluttered with clashing thoughts and rambling arguments. and i apologize.
i almost feel this update was pointless since i can counter myself in every point i bring up, but i guess this is my way of getting it out of my mind and move on to things more important at the moment.
--------------------
take every chance you get, and you won't regret it.
im almost certain that you will contemplate more about the chances you didnt take playing it safe,
than the ones you took and learned from whatever the outcome.
mind you though, dont be stupid.
--------------------
VIBE XIII this weekend. =]