Well I'm wide awake now...
Bit of a thing coming into work this morning... Writing it down now because no one took my statement, and records are a good thing (thanks, Dad, for that life lesson).
Headed to work on a road with one driving lane, a parking lane, and a bike lane between. (Divider up the middle from other side of the road.)
Brown van is pulled to the right, apparently blocking a driveway and also the bike lane. Guy driving it is (apparently, as I learned later) dropping someone off, but then puts on his 4-ways.
Small silver car is behind brown van, also sorta pulled to right, but largely in the main driving lane.
I go around small silver car. Mirror whack. (Yes, I know. My fault. No argument.)
I immediately pull over, just a few car lengths down the street, where the curb is clear. Silver car pulls up beside me, blocking me in, driver gets out, clearly irate (but calmly so, which is impressive. I would define it as "extreme exasperation"). Since I know I'm largely to blame, I get out and say nothing, figuring I'll let her have her say and then we'll go from there. I know my car isn't damaged (foldaway mirrors), but I don't know about hers. Somewhere in here she says this is a "state-owned vehicle," which I know is a big deal if it's in an accident, so I'm having a good idea of why she is upset.
She's not yelling at me personally, she's expressing her frustration with bad drivers in general, people in too much of a hurry. Again, I say nothing, because yep, I totally deserve this yelling-at. For some reason, the guy in the brown van has pulled up behind us. She gives him a piece of her mind, telling him that he's actually to blame, because his position caused the chain of events by forcing her to stop where she did, and so on.
Brown Van Guy says something. (I didn't hear what he said, as there's a lot of ambient noise and I'm focused on Silver Car Woman.) I infer it's a protest that he is to blame, and now it comes out that Silver Car Woman is not just driving a state vehicle, but specifically is some sort of law enforcement. Her badge magically appears on a lanyard around her neck. (Seriously, it wasn't there when she first got out of the car, but then suddenly there it was. Neat trick. Well done.)
[I eventually infer that she is a parole officer. Or at least I assume so, as we are outside a parole office, and we eventually go inside. But it's entirely possible she's an undercover or detective or higher up police officer.]
[She was apparently stopped where she was because she was waiting for Brown Van to move and clear the driveway...which is the entrance to the official parking lot for the parole office.]
Brown Van Guy has drawn the wrong sort of attention to himself, and after a bit of back-and-forth, Silver Car Officer has decided she's going to call for a couple of patrol officers to come issue BVG a ticket for blocking the driveway. SCO is now on her phone to them. I pull out my phone to tell work I'm going to be late.
SCO actually says to me, "You won't be late, you're okay. I just need your license and registration information."
She tells me to come inside, and eventually hands me a form to fill out with my name and info--it's the sort of form government requires for when crap happens. I write everything down (getting confused and putting my DL # where my car's plate should go--apparently the first thing adrenaline handicaps in my brain is reading comprehension). There's a lot of sitting around at this point, which is fine with me.
The patrol officers show up, and she takes them out to see her vehicle (undamaged, thank goodness, because it, too, has foldaway mirrors) and talk to BVG. They eventually come back inside and one of the officers writes down my info in his patrol log (I love that they still keep records in small, moleskein-like books. One thing about paper: it's far more reliable than electronics.)
SCO has calmed down, and she and I chat for a few seconds (with one of the patrol officers as well). I apologize for causing all this trouble. She says it's okay, she was just frustrated with the situation. I explain that once upon a time I drove a state vehicle, too, and I understand how the regulations require a report. I again apologize for the trouble.
In this discussion with her and the other officer, it comes out that BVG's passenger was doing all the talking with the officer taking the report, and it sounds as if she (passenger) was trying to claim she was driving. SCO says, "Oh, no, it was the guy at the wheel." So they have a bit of a thing about that.
They tell me I'm free to go, I say thank you and shake hands with SCO. Patrol Officer says, "See you later." I say, "Gosh, I hope not!" We all laugh, say variations of, "Or at least not under these sort of circumstances," wish each other a better day, and off I go.
I feel pretty bad for BVG. I suspect he may be lacking a license or something, because otherwise why try to make out that his passenger was driving?