Letters to the ether make a post
Dear fashion designers,
Please stop putting back pockets on jeans below the butt.
We've discussed this before. I've pointed out how ridiculous it looks for someone to have her back pockets halfway down her thighs as if her butt were sliding off. You are creating the illusion of a saggy butt, which absolutely no culture anywhere has ever deemed attractive. Big butts? Yes. Flat, boyish butts? Sure. Saggy butts? Never. Slug-bodied aliens on faraway planets probably hate saggy butts, too.
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Dear TBS,
Stop trying to make Neighbors from Hell happen. It sucks. It's not funny. It's not even stupid-funny, which some people find appealing. It's just really, really boring and lame. Stop advertising it heavily during reruns of Family Guy. This is one time when you should take a cue from FOX and kill this thing fast, with alcohol and fire.
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Dear Summer,
Okay, we get it. You're badass. We're a mere 92 million miles from the sun with nothing but a wisp of atmosphere and magnetic field to protect us from being a cinder. I am hereby duly reminded.
I suspect you're in cahoots with the fashion designers, because today I had to buy a couple of minimalist tank-tops so I can survive tomorrow.