Dear Crazy Paranoid People...

Feb 02, 2010 23:44


Dear Crazy Paranoid People:

There is no conspiracy among publishing companies to drive you away from ebooks and keep paper books as the dominant form.

Seriously. I've read that in a bunch of places from a bunch of people, and all I can say is, you are either the dumbest people alive, or you are irredeemably crazy. Since most of you are surprisingly articulate* in your impassioned claims regarding this conspiracy, I must conclude that you are, one and all, totally fucking nuts. Please report to your brain-care specialists and inform them that you need whatever drug balances the tendency to paranoia and persecution complexes.

Point the first: Do you remember the year 2000? It's only ten years ago. If you are over the age of thirty, then you are old enough to remember The Great Ebook Premature Ejaculation of the turn of the century. All the major publishers--with the notable exception of HarperCollins**--threw millions of dollars at creating ebooks in a hurry, only to discover that--whoops!--there weren't anywhere near enough ebook readers in people's hands to justify the expense. But clearly, publishers were raring to go. They want to embrace the new tech.

Point the second: Ebooks are no more a threat to the print market than paperbacks were to hardcovers in 1940. All the big six publishers put out books in all three formats (hardcover, trade paper, and mass market). They do this because they know the elasticity of demand at different times in a book's lifecycle, and they want to be able to provide flexible prices to match that demand. Ebooks are just another format, one with the added benefit of not needing to go through another production cycle in order to come in a cheaper form later.

Point the third and fourth: Ebooks solve two HUGE inefficiencies that publishers HATE WITH THE BURNING PASSION OF A THOUSAND SUNS. They are:

a. the returns system.

b. remaindering and/or pulping stock.

I cannot express how much the returns system, in particular, chaps the collective ass of everyone in the industry. We hates it, my precious, we hates it forever.

Publishers want ebooks. They promise efficiencies and savings that could well save the industry.

BUT. No one knows yet exactly how the numbers will work out. No one knows how many people will move to ebooks or steadfastly cling to paper editions, how much e-piracy will be a factor in sales, how much retooling will be necessary every time a new platform comes out, how they will work with different retailers.

It's all new. An old and conservative industry isn't going to just chuck a system that has worked for 150 years and dive headlong into the waters of Whatthefuck.

They want to make ebooks, really they do. At the very least, they know ebooks are inevitable. So they are trying different models to see what works best to maximize sales. What variation in price point will hold up in the market, what price will allow them to publish both ebooks for ebook readers and paper books for paper book readers.

In short: Get the fuck over yourselves. It's not about you.

*As contrasted with, say, your average teabagger. They're incoherent as well as crazy.

**I find it weird and wonderful that the CEO who knew it was too early to jump on the ebook bandwagon in 1999/2000 recently started her own ebook company. You rock, Jane.

business of writing, this wacky industry, in the news

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