Bubble wrap--STAT!
if I have to work on one more goddammed pretentious, badly written novel about women struggling to remain friends while dealing with the pressures of being wives and mothers and career women, I am going to scream. I will scream twice if the pressures are really fucking ordinary. And a third time if one of them is pregnant.
If it's written by someone who has only a passing acquaintance with English grammar and punctuation, I will rip my own eyeballs out.
If it has a cover with a soft, misty photo on it, I will get a shotgun and go postal in the editor's office.
And if it's written in the first person, I will call the Department of Homeland Security and tell them the author is a terrorist. Then I'll ask to be present at the waterboarding.
Seriously. Doesn't the world have enough of these things? Didn't the world have enough of them after the first two?
If we're going to have books about rich women dealing with ennui, they should be laced with sex and drugs and catfights. They should follow Jackie Collins's model from the 80s: over-the-TOP, baby! Give me some drama! If she's pregnant, put the paternity in question!
They should not--ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT--try to take this crap seriously. Who the fuck are we kidding, here?
If it's written by someone who has only a passing acquaintance with English grammar and punctuation, I will rip my own eyeballs out.
If it has a cover with a soft, misty photo on it, I will get a shotgun and go postal in the editor's office.
And if it's written in the first person, I will call the Department of Homeland Security and tell them the author is a terrorist. Then I'll ask to be present at the waterboarding.
Seriously. Doesn't the world have enough of these things? Didn't the world have enough of them after the first two?
If we're going to have books about rich women dealing with ennui, they should be laced with sex and drugs and catfights. They should follow Jackie Collins's model from the 80s: over-the-TOP, baby! Give me some drama! If she's pregnant, put the paternity in question!
They should not--ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT--try to take this crap seriously. Who the fuck are we kidding, here?