I get to be with Joel tomorrow.
This week has been terrible. At first, it wasn't so bad, I was just hanging out with Jessie and trying to keep my mind from wandering. I was afraid I had made the wrong decision. I was afraid Joel would realize how much better he can do and how badly I treat him and I was afraid on Thursday he would tell me I'm not right for him anymore. The more time passed, the more I fell apart. I have been extremely moody lately and I haven't been able to talk right. I've been saying sentences backwards, I've been forgetting words, using the wrong versions of words. I'm sure I sound pretty stupid but I don't think anyone understands what it's like to have your rock taken away. All day today I've been in a terrible mood. I've ignored everyone, I have been totally uninspired in art, and anyone that tried talking to me I gave them an attitude. My mind has been occupied by imagining myself starting a brawl with everyone I see to keep me from crying. I'm done with this break business. I think we both needed it, and I think when I see Joel I'll just go crazy with love. I've always thought you don't know how much you love someone until you have to live without them and it has been mind boggling without Joel.
All I can think about his his big brown eyes and his loving smile. I can't wait to run up to him and give him all the love that has been festering inside of me. It hasn't even been like I've just had extra love to give to others. I haven't hugged Jessie or Tiler at all. I just sit in class and stare at the wall and try to keep my mind off of everything. My hands are aching to caress, my lips are aching to kiss.
I have the greatest boyfriend in the world and I hate that I had to be away from him for so long to realize that.
I'm going to bed now. I want to wake up early and look fantastic tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a good day. If anyone tries to get in the way of that, I will release my infernal wrath upon them.
:)
All I can think about his his big brown eyes and his loving smile. I can't wait to run up to him and give him all the love that has been festering inside of me. It hasn't even been like I've just had extra love to give to others. I haven't hugged Jessie or Tiler at all. I just sit in class and stare at the wall and try to keep my mind off of everything. My hands are aching to caress, my lips are aching to kiss.
I have the greatest boyfriend in the world and I hate that I had to be away from him for so long to realize that.
I'm going to bed now. I want to wake up early and look fantastic tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a good day. If anyone tries to get in the way of that, I will release my infernal wrath upon them.
:)