Growth. Birthday.
The 1st of October. This month I'm turning 30. 30. 30, Thirty. Harminc. Trenta. Dreizich. Oh my God :)
What do I have to show for my age? Feels like I should have Achieved Something. But then I was so busy being depressed and carving out a whole identity out of that and then turning into The Girl Who Overcame It All, The Great Survivor. The book that has been a companion to me for years now, Clarissa Pinkola Estés' Women Running With Wolves mentions getting lost in the survivor identity, delaying moving forward into a thriving state. I so can relate.
Last year was all about secret, fond wishes coming true, and I know what those miraculous coincidences were trying to teach me - that I CAN get what I want, HERE, NOW. The way I like it. But I am too used to surviving, getting by and being satisfied with being OK that I *forget* about wishing for great. But I want great. How do I let myself attract great?