I wonder.....
I wonder if I will ever let someone know me. Why does it scare me to let someone see the me that nobody else knows? Is it silly that I always brush my teeth after I wash my face, and not before? It's it embarrassing that I cry when I watch the Princess Diaries and yes, I choose to watch the Princess Diaries. Will I ever trust enough someone to let them in? Will I ever stop looking for reasons that someone should choose not to love me instead of reasons that they should? *sigh*
I can't imagine what it must feel like to have this kind of trust. To love, and fight without fear that he will leave. Knowing that he loves me, no matter what I say, whether he disagrees or not. I can't pretend to know what it feels like to be ridiculously angry with someone and love them at the same time....to lay in bed together and reach over to hold their hand, even though I may not be able to look them in the face.
Perhaps being alone is my training. Maybe this time I have is only a time to gain perspective and realize how much I'd prefer to be with someone rather than to be alone. The trick, is finding someone not to be alone with. I suppose that's the question for a lot of people, although the only person I wonder about is me.
I can't imagine what it must feel like to have this kind of trust. To love, and fight without fear that he will leave. Knowing that he loves me, no matter what I say, whether he disagrees or not. I can't pretend to know what it feels like to be ridiculously angry with someone and love them at the same time....to lay in bed together and reach over to hold their hand, even though I may not be able to look them in the face.
Perhaps being alone is my training. Maybe this time I have is only a time to gain perspective and realize how much I'd prefer to be with someone rather than to be alone. The trick, is finding someone not to be alone with. I suppose that's the question for a lot of people, although the only person I wonder about is me.