Turkey Day Drama 2006- The Alternate Verison
I usually have a Turkey Day drama wrap up right about now, but I am still rather out of it.
Amazingly enough there was actually not as much relative drama as per normal, which was fine and dandy by me, because too much other crud was going on for me to totally react to. It was the usual suspects acting the usual ways, just one of them now married, but still cutting up as they are prone to do.
You may recall that my Mom had some kind of attack of some description before she left? Well, she had one while she was away as well, and has been in hospital since last Wednesday. They think she might have had, if not an actual one, a stroke episode. Not a strong one, and not a dibilitating one, thank God. So I haven't been up for much talking, being active or being pretty happy for about a week now. As much as we get on each others nerves at times (and we do, make no mistake), I still was a total wreck most of last week, including Thanksgiving Day. I mean- I am still a kid in a lot of ways, and pardon me for sounding selfish, but I am not ready to give up my parents just yet, thank you very much. I have talked to her at least three times a day since last week.
My Dad, by the way, has been brilliant through this whole thing. He has stayed with her pretty much since it happened and hasn't complained about it once. I don't think he's ready to give her up yet, either. He has slept in the room the whole time and has been more than than attentive to her. She has had scores of visitors and calls and flowers sent to her, and she sounds like her old self to me, just with cabin fever.
But I know things have changed, and they won't be the same. I have gone through periods in the last six or so days ranging between guilt, anger, frustration, crying spells and hyper emotional states of melancholy and feigned happiness. I have been really fighting depression since I got home- I had to fly home alone this time, since Dad was staying with Mom- and I have to make myself not get too depressed or sad, which is harder than it sounds. I do have to say, I am glad I am going back to work tomorrow afternoon, to get my mind off things for a while, if that's all it accomplishes this week. We might be busy, and that will be good too. I need to have distractions for a while. It will keep me sane for the time being. Things have suddenly shifted, and I am going to have more going on in my life than even I planned for.
*sigh* Sorry, had to get that out of my system. It was doing a serious number on me head. Travel back on Saturday was a pain in the ass as well- my flight was two hours late out of Jackson due to pressurization issues, so I had to change my connection from ATL, and we could only fly below 10,000 feet. That actually amused the fuck out of me. I didn't care as long as I got there well before my next flight...which turned out to be at the next gate over from where I came in. Those who have flown into Atlanta-Hartsfield know how extremely rare this is- you usually have to go one or two terminals over to get your next plane. All can I say is that God was for sure looking out for me on Saturday afternoon. I travel well, but I hate rushing anyplace. I count my blessings when I get them. I had to drive home from Fort Lauderdale, but it was all right- there wasn't much traffic and I was driving my Dad's cop car (the Impala) so I got wide berth. I unpacked that night and putt stuff away. I was hyper anyway, so I needed to burn off some nervous energy.
I had my class tonight, which was the first time I'd left the house since Saturday night- yesterday was a wash, as I was far too exhausted to do much worth anything. It was just as well, I needed the rest big time. I went by Borders tonight, got a few things (interesting eye catcher: Darren Hayes in 'Out' Magazine as one of their Men of the Year, and the picture of him to go along with it is nothing short of *gorgeous*) and then came home. I don't have to work until tomorrow afternoon, so the night is mine.
I guess that's it. I am going to bed since I need even more sleep- my paterns were fucked last week, obviously. Ta for now.
Amazingly enough there was actually not as much relative drama as per normal, which was fine and dandy by me, because too much other crud was going on for me to totally react to. It was the usual suspects acting the usual ways, just one of them now married, but still cutting up as they are prone to do.
You may recall that my Mom had some kind of attack of some description before she left? Well, she had one while she was away as well, and has been in hospital since last Wednesday. They think she might have had, if not an actual one, a stroke episode. Not a strong one, and not a dibilitating one, thank God. So I haven't been up for much talking, being active or being pretty happy for about a week now. As much as we get on each others nerves at times (and we do, make no mistake), I still was a total wreck most of last week, including Thanksgiving Day. I mean- I am still a kid in a lot of ways, and pardon me for sounding selfish, but I am not ready to give up my parents just yet, thank you very much. I have talked to her at least three times a day since last week.
My Dad, by the way, has been brilliant through this whole thing. He has stayed with her pretty much since it happened and hasn't complained about it once. I don't think he's ready to give her up yet, either. He has slept in the room the whole time and has been more than than attentive to her. She has had scores of visitors and calls and flowers sent to her, and she sounds like her old self to me, just with cabin fever.
But I know things have changed, and they won't be the same. I have gone through periods in the last six or so days ranging between guilt, anger, frustration, crying spells and hyper emotional states of melancholy and feigned happiness. I have been really fighting depression since I got home- I had to fly home alone this time, since Dad was staying with Mom- and I have to make myself not get too depressed or sad, which is harder than it sounds. I do have to say, I am glad I am going back to work tomorrow afternoon, to get my mind off things for a while, if that's all it accomplishes this week. We might be busy, and that will be good too. I need to have distractions for a while. It will keep me sane for the time being. Things have suddenly shifted, and I am going to have more going on in my life than even I planned for.
*sigh* Sorry, had to get that out of my system. It was doing a serious number on me head. Travel back on Saturday was a pain in the ass as well- my flight was two hours late out of Jackson due to pressurization issues, so I had to change my connection from ATL, and we could only fly below 10,000 feet. That actually amused the fuck out of me. I didn't care as long as I got there well before my next flight...which turned out to be at the next gate over from where I came in. Those who have flown into Atlanta-Hartsfield know how extremely rare this is- you usually have to go one or two terminals over to get your next plane. All can I say is that God was for sure looking out for me on Saturday afternoon. I travel well, but I hate rushing anyplace. I count my blessings when I get them. I had to drive home from Fort Lauderdale, but it was all right- there wasn't much traffic and I was driving my Dad's cop car (the Impala) so I got wide berth. I unpacked that night and putt stuff away. I was hyper anyway, so I needed to burn off some nervous energy.
I had my class tonight, which was the first time I'd left the house since Saturday night- yesterday was a wash, as I was far too exhausted to do much worth anything. It was just as well, I needed the rest big time. I went by Borders tonight, got a few things (interesting eye catcher: Darren Hayes in 'Out' Magazine as one of their Men of the Year, and the picture of him to go along with it is nothing short of *gorgeous*) and then came home. I don't have to work until tomorrow afternoon, so the night is mine.
I guess that's it. I am going to bed since I need even more sleep- my paterns were fucked last week, obviously. Ta for now.