"Come back to me..." [insert snore]
I paid 12 dollars to see a movie tonight and that movie had to be Cold Mountain. In short, I'd like to state that Renee Zellwegger won me over (she's annoying, but funny), that Nicole Kidman is rather gratuitous with her nipples (seriously, what kind of nipple agreement does she have in her contract?), and that Kidman and Jude Law couldn't light my ass on fire after three wet carne asada burritos from any obscure Mexican eatery in La Puente; Be not fooled: their chemistry in the film is the actual Cold Mountain.
Back to the 12 bucks: I watched it at The Grove and I watched it in reclining leather seats. I wanted to see what a 12 dollar movie felt like, which has to be done with any movie minus Nicole Kidman. What I did see was Ewan McGregor entering the theater showing Big Fish (go figure). I saw 2 seconds of him, dressed like he was part of a labor union (aka anything from Diesel). In celebration I'm gonna watch Big Fish with a trucker hat and bomber jacket.
I wish he did it for me; Cold Mountain still managed to take a dump in my head, for it is still 12 bucks of unworth not even this Scottish actor can compensate.
At least I can rest assured knowing it ain't got shit on my Return of the King. Though I still worry for Mystic River; It was a damnly gooded movie. If you haven't noticed, I'm worrying because I plan to do "Oscar betting" next March, yes it's gambling for the film nerd.
I hope you enjoyed my crafty use of semicolons; They are colons, but only semi...
On an editorial note, I've removed all the instances of "fucking" in my entry. Too often do I use that term as an intensifier. Also, judging from my recent entries, I've realized that if I were to ever write a memoir, the recurring literary theme would probably be Mexican food. The wet burrito and nacho plate are the big allegories of my life. I've also decided that this entry made me seem too much cooler than you, so i've added some images to your right.
Back to the 12 bucks: I watched it at The Grove and I watched it in reclining leather seats. I wanted to see what a 12 dollar movie felt like, which has to be done with any movie minus Nicole Kidman. What I did see was Ewan McGregor entering the theater showing Big Fish (go figure). I saw 2 seconds of him, dressed like he was part of a labor union (aka anything from Diesel). In celebration I'm gonna watch Big Fish with a trucker hat and bomber jacket.
I wish he did it for me; Cold Mountain still managed to take a dump in my head, for it is still 12 bucks of unworth not even this Scottish actor can compensate.
At least I can rest assured knowing it ain't got shit on my Return of the King. Though I still worry for Mystic River; It was a damnly gooded movie. If you haven't noticed, I'm worrying because I plan to do "Oscar betting" next March, yes it's gambling for the film nerd.
I hope you enjoyed my crafty use of semicolons; They are colons, but only semi...
On an editorial note, I've removed all the instances of "fucking" in my entry. Too often do I use that term as an intensifier. Also, judging from my recent entries, I've realized that if I were to ever write a memoir, the recurring literary theme would probably be Mexican food. The wet burrito and nacho plate are the big allegories of my life. I've also decided that this entry made me seem too much cooler than you, so i've added some images to your right.