I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE

May 30, 2004 00:14

I got home from work to night and got online to check my email and I had one waiting for me from my best friend Tim. Not a pleasant one I might add, here read this. alright, well I give up, I'm done trying to call you... you know how to get a hold of me... I dunno what's going on, or why, but I can't ever get a hold of you, day or night, nothing... you probably found someone else to hang out with cause yer never home when you get off work, so fuck it... I'm so fuckin' done trying to make shit work when no one else gives a fuckin' shit... I had fun while u were here, but that's said and done, I can't even talk to u, so I don't expect to ever see you again... have a fun life. Anyway I have tried explaining to him before that when he calls me at night he's calling to late and I am sleeping. I honestly think there is more to all this than he is telling me. I have called him the last four nights in a row and he hasn't answered his phone. I have checked his web page and he is talking suicidal. I am scared to freaking death that he may do something stupid. I love Tim with all my heart and I tell him that every chance I get, it just don't seem to be good enough for him anymore. A few people seem to think that he is acting like this cause he wants more than friendship and I won't give it to him. I could never take our relationship beyond friendship cause it would kill me if something happened and it didn't work out and I lost him completely. I just hope that I can get through to him cause him acting like this is killing me. I don't know what to do to show him that he is still my best friend and that I love him with all my heart. It's not like I can go hang out with him, he lives in Kansas City. I was just there back in the beginning of the month. Anyway I am to tired to go on so I will update later.
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