Indian Summer

Sep 01, 2009 10:38

First off, I'd like to say if you were at all confused about how to comment, you can do so either on LJ (because I still check it now and then for my flist) or by using your LJ username/URL as an OpenID. I've changed the footer for a reminder.

Second, Asty showed me this this morning, but I died laughing over this. Oh, internet. You give me plot bunnies for crackfic.

Third, Jesus Christ, it's September. It's cold. I can hear buses at the middle school. What the hell happened to my summer?

Truth be told, I'm not entirely ready to go back, if only because I'm not ready to graduate. I've got this whole list of things to do. Look for graduate schools, actually figure out what it is I want to do with my life so I can narrow down the search to certain types of schools, take exams across an entire state, apply, wait, wait some more, maybe do an interview, do more waiting, start looking for internships early or maybe an actual job... And then, after graduating altogether, there's always the worry that I'll never get a job or that I'll never actually push myself further than an entry-level position, which is a really silly but probably natural worry that comes from constantly getting stuck with crap jobs or no job at all unless I have awesome connections (which I've been told is how the world works anyway). I guess I'm just really, really afraid of growing up. Is this normal? Whiny? I don't usually do this, I think.

I think one of my goals this coming school year is to actually grow up. I know I have problems, and I know not too many people actually take me seriously. I know I'm immature sometimes (or maybe a lot of the time), and I know I'm too shy for my own good. I'm going to learn how to clean myself up somehow. It's something I've been working on a lot this summer, but even then, I don't think I've made as much progress as I would have liked.

Part of this might be coming from the fact that I haven't really been sleeping well lately. I don't know why, really, but I can't get more than four hours of sleep a night, resulting in me being awake from seven, eight, or nine in the morning to two, three, or four, also AM. I'm not really tired. Maybe it's just lingering effects of jet-lag.

Dreams have been weird. There was this one involving this guy who I knew was going to kill his family and himself, so a bunch of us (my family) ushered the wife and kids out of the room right when we knew it would happen. Next thing I know, he's dead in the bathtub. I run out of the room, and a few moments later, he's walking past with a razor jammed into his back as if nothing happened. That's not the only one, but it's one that's been on my mind for the past few days for some reason.

On a lighter, separate, fourth note, I finally finished page content for that site I've been working on since forever. Now, I need to make graphics and choose colors. Quick poll, but what colors would work best: brown, earthy tones or a light green? I can't decide. Maybe I should make a mock-up of both and offer examples to the rest of you, but if you can answer without, I'd appreciate it.

This entry was originally posted at http://mercoledi.dreamwidth.org/1292.html. Comment either here or http://mercoledi.dreamwidth.org/1292.html?mode=reply by using your LJ URL as an OpenID. Jax doesn't really care which method you use.

internet, emo crap, lulz

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