Frustration and truth

[banzai]

A recent failure with Remember The Milk's ability to create tasks from labels in Gmail has gummed up both my email inbox and my usual methods of staying on top of my tasks. Ultimately not a big deal; just frustrating to be so easily thrown for a mini-loop. Mostly, it's me throwing a low-level tantrum that things don't work the way I want them to.

Comments

[banzai]

I'm of two minds on "grace towards ourselves" (which mind is dominant likely depends on when I'm asked). They're actually connected thoughts rather than opposing ones, though, and they seem to be (at least in part) in line with your thoughts.

Part of me thinks that's spot on. Beating ourselves up because we didn't meet our own expectations is double-edged narcissism-first, things have to be our way, and then, our part in their failure is viewed as so central that it's worth derailing life in order to hammer on ourselves. Brennan Manning's idea of "the wisdom of accepted tenderness" is critical to stopping this cycle: it's not a matter of self-forgiveness, Oprah-style, but rather embracing what God has said about us. We need a word outside ourselves to inform how we live as beloved children. Of course, that also informs how we live with others.

The tension comes when I acknowledge the fact that I cut myself a lot of slack, all the time. So I do give myself lots of leeway (pun intended)-the trick is that much of it isn't true grace. Much of where I let myself off the hook isn't in the places where I need to accept God's grace; rather, it's in the places where I need to follow Him instead of going my own way. When I do that, I'm not embracing God's love for me, and thus, I'm not loving myself or others well.

Godly sorrow has a significant place in a disciple's life, but it's a very different thing than just beating oneself up. I think someone who embraces God's tenderness still has room for that sorrow and doesn't drown it out.